March 12, 2013
One sure way to poo poo on yourself is by continually poo pooing on others. I received a quote in my inbox the other day and it struck me how often and unconsciously we do this. It goes like this…Hurt people hurt people.
Most of the time, we think, it’s harmless. But, in the world of energy, either our thoughts and words travel to someone, or just like a boomerang, they travel right back to us!
Think about it, why would we bother saying or thinking something judgmental or hurtful about someone else if we ourselves were not hurt?
Do me a big favor (as I also am doing for myself, BTW!) and next time you catch yourself hurting a person either through your thoughts, statements or actions, look in the mirror and make the connection back to you.
What’s hurting you?
Why are you hurt?
How can you forgive yourself (or others) RIGHT NOW and begin to heal?
Hurt people hurt people. Stop being a victim. Take responsibility for recognizing and deleting your stuck hurts. Send Light and Love instead and you’ll get it right back.
Ahhh. That feels better!
Stop Sh$tt%ng on Yourself!
Have a magnificent and magical day!
January 24, 2013
I’m reading a book that a great friend of mine gave me over the holidays called What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, by Marshall Goldsmith. In a nutshell it discusses the 20 habits that successful people should break in order to “get there”…that “next big thing” we are all looking for. I’m only on Part 1, but already I’m having tons of “aha” moments, not only for myself but for others who I’m coaching and mentoring.
One recent conversation comes to mind as I read about what Goldsmith calls the Natural Law. He shares,
This is the natural law. Every choice, big or small, is a risk-reward decision where your bottom-line thinking is, “What’s in it for me?”
He also states,
People will do something–including changing their behavior–only if it can be demonstrated that doing so is in their own best interests as defined by their own values.
So in my recent conversation, my client describes that she is struggling with a deep desire to do nothing…to be still. Doing nothing, for her, feels like staying in bed when she could be working or making things happen, not putting so much importance on doing what is necessary to advance in her career, and not coming to the rescue each time a family members needs saving. But, as Goldsmith explains above and in more detail in the book, this is not an easy thing to do, because for my client, allowing herself to do nothing means she will be going against some of her deeply held values and the Success Belief Goldsmith calls, “I Choose to Succeed”.
Maybe this is true for you too, as it also is for me. If this happens to be one of your success beliefs, choosing to NOT succeed can feel horrible! You feel like a fish out of water…a boxer with no opponent. When it comes to success in our career, especially, we can play this recording in our head over and over again:
I can’t rest…I can’t not do nothing! If I don’t keep working hard and succeeding I may not move ahead! John (or Jane!) may steal my spotlight and I will miss out on new opportunities!
In this case, my client is feeling un-natural, because her natural state as well as many of her values are ones that may feel opposed to what her mind, body and soul may be needing right now in her life. Goldsmith discusses the importance of recognizing this natural law and our success habits, which sometimes DO need to be broken in order for us to truly get to where we need to go in our career an in our life.
Because I also study, practice and coach around the laws of energy and the energetic cycles we all go through (study of Chinese face reading/9 Star Ki), I also happen to believe and know that there are specific periods in our lives which require that we allow ourselves to rest, renew, and not push forward and achieve as greatly as we normally would. To do so, in fact, would be to go against the energy of that year. It’s okay (and really great!) sometimes to DREAM instead of DO, STUDY instead of IMPLEMENT, WALK instead RUN, etc. It just so happens, that my client is heading into that exact cycle of energy right now in her life (unique for each individual). So, what she is feeling she needs to do right now is right on. By allowing these new habits to manifest she will be honoring herself and setting the stage for continued success in her life.
Life and where we drive it truly comes down to the patterns we create through our beliefs and habits. Goldsmith does a great job of helping us recognize many of those beliefs we subscribe to which will sit in our subconscious until we become aware and use this new knowledge to help us create positive change and set forth on a new success plan to get us where we want to go.
Thanks, David, for the book! I’m moving to Part 2 and have an inkling I’ll love it!
Interested in knowing the energy of this year for you? Write to me: firstname.lastname@example.org.
December 20, 2012
Just like most of you who are parents, I can’t help but to sit through the latest horrific tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut, and wonder, “How do parents begin to heal?”
I’m not sharing my thoughts on this so that you believe in what I believe, as I truly respect the individual beliefs of all people. But, I wanted to share my perspective in the chance that it may provide an iota of peace for some in this storm of sadness.
Since I was a young adolescent I questioned so many of the beliefs I was taught. So much didn’t make sense, including serious life challenges like violence, illness and death. Through my own search, a lot of reading and allowing myself to be open, I have come to find some comfort in the following:
- We each have a purpose for coming to this earth as humans, to live the human experience of right and wrong; good and bad.
- We come to an “agreement” or contract with our God that details what situations (accidents, illnesses, issues, death, betrayal, etc.) will occur during our lifetime that will serve as a lesson either for ourselves, others, or both.
- Individuals in our lives, whether we know them well or not, agree in advance to play a part in our “agreement” to help these lessons play out.
- Some contracts will involve MANY (yes, even children) who decide, together, as beautiful souls, to create a TRANSFORMATIONAL lesson for many.
So, keeping this in mind, I can find an iota of peace believing that these 26 amazing angels came to our earth, during our lifetime, to GET OUR ATTENTION…to tell us loudly and painfully that our work is not even close to being done. We must pay attention and take action.
What have we not yet learned? What must we all do, together, as a united community?
Clearly some major red flags are gun control and mental health reform.
In my opinion…
Did the shooter need help? YES
Did his mother NEED the weapons? NO
Did his parents truly understand the gravity of his mental illness? PROBABLY NOT.
I know that there are still so many things we don’t know and understand about why this tragedy happened. I know that the parents, relatives, and friends of those innocent souls who died may never entirely heal. Afterall, we are human. But, can we begin to heal if spiritually we can believe there is a reason why their lives ended so early? Yes, I do believe this is possible.
To all of those who directly suffered from this unthinkable crime, I send you overwhelming love and light and pray that the beautiful souls of your loved ones are rejoicing in Heaven, comforting one another as brothers and sisters, knowing that their earthly purpose has been achieved. Now WE MUST NOT ignore their sacrifice and we must work hard to make those necessary transformational changes that are needed as a human society.
Sweet Angels, you have gotten my attention.
Here is a list of books that have helped me along my journey, related to what I’ve written above, which you may be interested in reading:
Sacred Contracts, by Caroline Myss
Growing Up In Heaven: The Eternal Connection Between Parent and Child, by James Van Praagh
The Golden Motorcycle Gang, by Jack Canfield
October 17, 2012
The holiday season is special. It is a time for all of us to create a space for our children, family, friends (and us parents too!) to step outside of ourselves and our lives to tap into the wonder of the amazing lives we are leading. Truly…is it not a miracle in and of itself that we are on this earth breathing? Yes, take that deep breath!
In preparation for a joyous, sacred and stress-free holiday season, join me and two other AMAZING, women (see below) at The Nest in Coral Gables, on Saturday, November 3rd, 2:30 pm, to help you set the stage for a magical holiday season.
So, save the date now!
Listen to my dear friend, Lina Acosta, program director of The Nest, describe this very special event coming very soon.
On this day I will share with you how to:
- “Friend” your energy so you can BE your ideal parent and professional
- Understand your unique stress tendencies by looking at your face (and the faces of your children and relatives!) That’s right!!
- Use a simple 3 step process to shift to a happy, stress-free state
Integrative and Holistic Practitioner Michelle Alva, PT will present different ways to avoid low back and neck tension which are very common during the Holidays. She will also introduce a great way to de-stress and get fit called Awaken To U Yoga class which will be held on Thursdays at 7pm at The Nest.
Alexis Edwards, Acupuncture Physician will discuss the benefits of using laser instead of needles for children and discuss the benefits of using Chinese Herbs for various stress-related ailments.
We’re always present for others, especially during the holidays. Use this special occasion for some YOU time and get ready and psyched for one of the best times of the year.
Hope to see you there.
August 31, 2012
I love to find excuses to make things happen, so here is one that you can use as well…
because it is once in a blue moon, after all!
That’s right, today we will be dazzled by the rare blue moon. It’s rare because it only happens every 2-3 years, and this month, we get two full moons! Although it may not be blue (from where you may be), according to astrologists, the energy of this blue moon may provide an ideal time to take all the intensity it will create and funnel it toward something BIG, something you have been putting off, haven’t had the energy to do, or something that could really make a difference for you or others in your life. That’s why it can be BIG. Ideally, this energy is perfectly suited for tapping into your creativity and deepening your intuition.
How can you get your creative juices flowing this weekend?
What are you being drawn to?
What is a BIG goal you can get started on?
What are you avoiding that you can break through right now?
In past postings I’ve talked about getting in the FLOW. This weekend provides the perfect time (and mood lighting!) to make that happen.
Personally, I’m already in the flow. My creative juices began tempting me early this week and my BIG goal (which I definitely have been avoiding!) is to give up TV to find time to put into place these ideas and plans that are tantalizing me.
Get your Blue Moon ON!
Care to share your BIG to do? Would love to hear about it. “-)
August 16, 2012
How simple it is to see that all the worry in the world cannot control the future. How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now. And that there will never be a time when it is not now.
Many times in our lives we all will experience unexpected challenges we must confront. Challenges which can pull us back into the past and keep us there, or have us worry so much about what will be.
Just recently I experienced one “of these” during a very unexpected time. But since I teach people how to find joy and opportunity regardless of what life throws them, I found it serendipitous that I was placed at a resort called “now.” If you know me well you know that I don’t believe in coincidences. Each time I saw that word “now” I was forced to bring myself to the present moment and inquire within, “How can I release the worry that I’m feeling right now? And how can I choose a more productive thought or action now?”
We all know that releasing worry and choosing a new thought is much harder than it seems, especially when the situation feels so heavy. Does it really work? My answer is YES, but you have to be just as dedicated to the emotions and truth of the new thought (or the real, love-based thought) then of the worry itself (false & fear-based).
Some of my “gurus” share these strategies…the very ones I did my very best to employ during this challenging time:
• Eckhart Tolle- the king of living in the “now” -tells us that if we are not in the state of either acceptance, enjoyment, or enthusiasm then we are creating suffering for ourselves and others. For many reasons, my only choice in this specific scenario was to be in a mode of acceptance. Tolle states that “On the surface, acceptance looks like a passive state, but in reality it is active and creative because it brings something entirely new into this world.” In that moment I could not choose joy and I could not choose enthusiasm, but I was very conscious of the situation, the feelings of the individuals involved, and to my part and my choices. I chose to accept the whole kit and caboodle. I truly sat with what was–good or bad.
• Byron Katie tells us that suffering is optional. Whenever we experience a stressful feeling- – anything from mild discomfort to intense sorrow, rage, or despair (I went through the entire range!)- – we can be certain that there is a specific thought causing our reaction, whether we are conscious of it or not. When we believe our thoughts instead of what is really true for us, we experience the kinds of emotional distress that is suffering.
Katie’s work goes much deeper and stems from her personal pain. Her work helps us do what Tolle speaks of- – getting to what really is true. Her experience helps to make concrete the TRUTH that everything (including each and every thought, action, belief, etc.) comes either from LOVE or FEAR. If we consciously choose to be in a state of acceptance and love WHAT IS IN THIS MOMENT even if it is painful, our fear dissipates and what remains is love…love for ourselves, for others, and for whatever life brings. It also allows forgiveness of self and others to manifest, something which is very difficult. Katie says that loving what is becomes as easy and natural as breathing.
Finally, Katie shares her simple, yet powerful inquiry process, which I used during this personal crisis. Here it is:
Deeply question the following about the feeling or thought:
1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
3. How do you react when you think that thought?
4. Who would you be without the thought?
There is one final powerful step to this process (the turn around), which helps you to take responsibility for your thoughts and really understand their intention, but that would require a much longer post!
Here’s a very brief “on the job” example of using steps 1-4 (with a few enhancements):
Thought: “He is always condescending to me in front of others, and clearly never wants me to advance. I am stuck!”
Ask: Is that true? Really true?
“Well, not always, I guess. Sometimes he can be supportive of my ideas, but I always feel like he will put me down if he has the chance. I guess I also have the choice to leave and not feel stuck.”
Ask: How do I respond when I hear/say that thought?
“I always feel like I have to be defensive; I am really angry for what feels like an eternity. I have seen others act in this way and I don’t want to be this way or be perceived as a difficult person who has to fight all the time.”
Ask: Can you see a reason why to drop the thought?
“Yes. I would like to drop this thought. I guess if I think this way all the time and expect the worst I always will feel defensive, angry, and stuck.”
Ask: Who would you be without the thought?
“I would be more relaxed, happy, and confident in who I am regardless of anyone above or below me.”
Try it for yourself with a thought/situation that may be pulling you out of the “now” and into sorrow, worry or pain. Spend time in your own dialogue when answering the questions. You may go back and forth for a bit, after all, Katie calls this process The Work!
How can choosing acceptance and love over fear in the “now” move you forward today?
When you are present in the moment, you break the continuity of your story, of past and future.
Then true intelligence arises, and also love.
June 4, 2012
I guess I love Astrology so much because I really believe in energy. In the push and pull of things. In the shifting of time, space and seasons. It’s all energy. We are energy. And guess what? Our thoughts, dreams and desires are energy too.
Where do they come from? Some would say they come from Source, and perhaps we all define Source differently. I’m cool with that. For me, no matter what you call it or how you define it, Source is energy which connects to us humans via our Soul.
You’ve got one of those, yes?
SIDE NOTE: This is my mind on a cup of hot mint tea. Can you imagine my mind on a glass of wine? (Laughing to myself!!) Watch out! LOL.
So what is your SOUL telling you? What’s the ESSENCE of your Soul, and how are you maximizing that ESSENCE that is uniquely YOU to create the life you desire?
As a coach I know that this is something people really want to understand, define, and ultimately, live by. Well, during certain energetic cycles, this ESSENCE becomes a little easier to tap. One of those times begins tomorrow.
BACK TO ASTROLOGY!
I subscribe to Maya White’s newsletter monthly to see what the planets are doing and what that may mean for us energetically and tangibly. According to Maya, on June 5th something very rare happens…Venus begins its transit across the Sun. During her transit, her energy is said to be one of connection to our soul essence…our purpose…our Dharma. So, why not take advantage of this energy to get EN POINTE if we haven’t taken the time to so?
For those of you who may already be feeling this energy and wanting to get your groove on, it can be as simple as asking yourself:
- Who am I when no one is looking?
- What do my closest friends love and appreciate about me?
- If I can define myself in one word, what would that be?
- What do I love about myself?
- What makes me smile and laugh?
- Who am I today and who do I wish I could be tomorrow?
- Venus is the only planet named after a female, the ancient Roman goddess of love & beauty.
- Other attributes of Venus include, vanity, the arts, physical love, attraction, affection and validation!
- Venus was once thought to be two different stars, the evening star and the morning star–that is, the ones that first appeared at sunset and sunrise.
- Venus is known at the “light bringer” and is the brightest of all the planets and stars.