You Are Just Not Healthy!
June 3, 2015
As you’ve heard me share over the last few weeks, during our Summer of Wellbeing— the next 11 weeks, I’ll be going back to my “Relaxed Book Club” blogging roots and reading and sharing the content from two wonderful books. Today I begin with Your Health is in Your Hands, by James D. Jordan, CNC, JD. 
Your Health is in Your Hands: Three Reasons You’re Not Well and What to Do About It
Jim was introduced to me by mother, Ellie, who was experiencing some very scary symptoms that most doctors just pushed away with a prescription pad. When she was close to her wits end, she found Jim and her path to healing began.
I, too, was experiencing symptoms of my own. I was exhausted all the time, and even fell asleep at the wheel one day and crashed into another vehicle. As a life-long dancer who always watched what she ate, I truly thought I was eating healthy. I also experienced severe allergies most of my teens and college years, but just stuck to the drugs that claimed to fix me. I even developed asthma at the age of 35, which took me by surprise.
Just as Jim did for my mother, he opened my eyes to a new way of living and eating, one that would help me put the power back in my hands and not in a prescription pad.
A sentence in Jim’s book caught my attention, as it also caught his attention when he was at his wits end, not understanding why he was feeling so sick. A Chinese doctor in Chicago told him the following:
“These are not your problems. You are just not healthy. When you are healthy you cannot be sick.”
Just like most of in the western world, Jim learned from this doctor that focusing on his health condition, or problem, wasn’t going to help him. What was going to begin his path to wellness—to true health—was to focus on the underlying causes of why he wasn’t feeling well. His focus now was away from the label of his illness and to the 100% attention on the nourishing and strengthening of his body, mind, and soul. Jim shares,
“I learned that whenever I felt less than optimal, I
should always look to the underlying cause of why I did not feel well.”
His road back to health followed three clear steps:
- Reject all things that were clearly not working for him.
- Become open to new therapies, diets and healing modalities that could increase his vitality and strength (with no toxic side effects).
- Find his purpose in life—to get well and help others get well too.
I love this book, because Jim keeps it really simple. The simplicity of getting healthy also helps those of us who are parents— to become detectives for our kids and figure out what small tweaks can help them be healthier.
In a nutshell, we need to ask three questions:
- Where are we deficient in nutrients?
- Are we toxic?
- What is causing us stress?
Personally, I can tell you that after experiencing what I did and learning my “Underlying Causation Paradigm,” as Jim refers to it, I now ask myself these questions every time I have a new symptom—no matter what it may be. I could begin sneezing a lot again or my asthma kicks into high gear, or perhaps I get more frequent head aches, or have unusual periods of fatigue. Instead of just heading to the pharmacy or doctor for a “fix me” prescription, I now try to take more personal responsibility and figure out what may be causing my symptoms. I also take a “spin” on the wellness wheel, which I shared in one of my videos and get curious about what’s going on. Guess what? I usually know what’s happening and I make minor tweaks that help me get better. Now, I’m not sharing this to encourage you to not visit a doctor. I have doctors and I do visit them, but mostly for prevention (vitals, and check-ups), and for emergencies that may need immediate attention. But, I have to say that it is quite empowering to be more knowledgeable about how I can help myself as a first step instead of running to find help and put the power in someone else’s hands. Next week I’ll begin to share some of Jim’s great knowledge that can help you be your own detective. Until then, think about these scary stats that Jim shares in the book:
- Today, more than 95% of all chronic disease is caused by food choice, toxic food ingredients, nutritional deficiencies and lack of physical exercises.
- More than 133 million Americans (45% of the population) have at least one chronic condition and 26% have multiple chronic conditions. Chronic disease is currently the leading cause of all death and disability in the U.S., responsible for 70% of all deaths.
- A large portion of the population consistently fails to meet even the minimal intakes recommended in the Dietary Reference Intake (DRI) for many key nutrients.
- ADHD diagnosis for children ages 4-17 years has risen 42% between 2003 and 2011.
- Childhood obesity has tripled in the U.S. Over the past two decades resulting in the quadrupling of childhood chronic deceases in the past four decades.
It’s time to get smart about our health and the health and vitality of our children. It’s time to reclaim some of our power and make smart choices that can change our lives. Are you with me? Join me next week as we dig a little deeper into the nutrients we need to sustain us. It’s your life, lead it well! Namaste,Monique
5 Steps to Avoiding the Pinterest Paradox
May 28, 2015
P.S. I’ll get to Pinterest in a moment. 🙂
Dreaming and Doing. Is one better than the other, or do both together create the best productivity life hack?
In life we simply can’t escape the productivity conversation, which inevitably becomes the balance conversation, which then morphs into the just live in the moment and be happy conversation.
Here’s my take it on it…
The theme I created for myself this year was, “Flow in all things.” Just saying it out loud makes me take a deep breath and smile. I really like this feeling. And, the theme has really come in handy numerous times this year. However, I find myself also craving to not flow. To push a bit harder, as uncomfortable as it may be for me and for others. To ask, instead of wonder or let go. To create those waves, instead of float away. Perhaps, subconsciously, I created this theme because I knew I would push the envelope enough this year to require more breath-ful moments? Hmm. Could be.
Here’s what I know about productivity (the art of getting things done as effectively as possible, so we can do even more)… We are MUCH MORE productive when we are doing things that we are passionate about, really good at (like our talents/strengths), and that will help us achieve a highly-valued reward. Do our bosses want us to be more productive? YES. Do we want to be more productive at home? YES. Do we want to create and grow in our lives?YES.
We are humans! Part of the human experience is a desire to fill our cups as much as possible. After all, when we fill our cups (hopefully with the right things!), we can extract so much pleasure and growth. Ah! The human experience is good, indeed!
But what happens when we dream too much and don’t do? I’ll let you answer this question. Go ahead, fill in the blank here: _____________________________________________.
In comes Pinterest.
So how do get the most out of our Pinterest habits and enjoy the happiness, thrill, accomplishment, and new skill building that these “P” projects can offer?
Here are some of the easiest, yet hardest, 5 steps to consider:
1. PICK ONE!
Our brains love to think that we can do it all! The reality is, though, that we can go into flight mode when we are overwhelmed and do nothing! Especially if you have the habit of creating many Pinterest boards and still have not tried any of the ideas you love, do yourself a favor and pick one to get started. I’d go for a really juicy one that is just slightly out of your reach, but will feel so amazing once you “get ‘er done!” Achieving these slightly out of our reach goals can positively affect us in many ways.
2. START!
The hardest part is to get started. Create a new board titled,“Started!” and place it there. Starting actually cuts the apprehension out of the equation and makes checking it off our list a new possibility, instead of “someday maybe.” In our minds we begin to see the check mark instead of the question mark.
3. TRACK.
Hold yourself accountable in some way (whatever way you know is best for you) and celebrate your progress, especially if it’s something that takes a while to achieve. For example, I love collecting “10 Minute” boards about exercising. What can I do in 10 minutes to tone my abs (for example)? But, guess what? If I only do 10 minutes of ab exercises once, I will not get anywhere. I need to do it for 30 days, perhaps, or if that’s too extreme, how about 3x per week?
4. BITE SIZE.
There are so many great recipes on Pinterest. I usually don’t have the ingredients I need, so I will start by picking my recipe and creating a list. Then, the next day, I will tell myself that I will cook it (get it done) on Saturday, and I will add to my calendar the time block which will allow me to go to the market to purchase the ingredients. If I don’t tackle these first three steps, this recipe will remain a dream. Chunk it down into bite sized pieces.
5. DEADLINE.
Tell yourself when you will finish. If you don’t stick to your deadline, extend it, but try to get it done. No deadline? Not done!
Turn up the Happiness!
May 19, 2015
So, what are those things that tend to turn down our happiness or keep it at bay? There are certain “buttons” that may be unique for each of us, but for the most part, these may be some of the culprits:
- Stress
- Conflict
- Overwhelm
- Sudden change
- Loneliness
- Loss or grief
- Poor health
- Financial distress
You get the picture, and I’m sure you can add more items to this list. The specifics behind the culprit may not even be that drastic and yet still can bring us into a state of unhappiness. I’ve written many times about moments when little things threw me way off, like a silly comment by someone. Perhaps my HQ was a 10 before that comment, but suddenly fell to a 4! My mind chatter grew stronger and stronger as I realized how I let that comment drown my sunshine—my happiness!
So, in moments like that, or even heavier ones, how do we pick ourselves up quickly and turn up our HQ? Well, here’s a simple to remember tool that I whipped up that may work for you. And, it happens to be called “H.A.P.P.Y”! Ask yourself one or more of the following questions when you feel your HQ dropping quickly, and see it rise just in time to put you back into an optimal state.
H – (Hope) – How can I be hopeful right now?
A – Acceptance – How can accepting this situation help me?
P – (Patience) – How can I bring patience to the situation?
Is it realistic to drive up our emotions when some things are not within our control? With regard to the house chores, I could ponder if I need to do everything right now? What can wait? Is my need to ‘do it all now’ typically lower my HQ? An important question I could ask and see if there is a pattern within that need.
Using a new example, let’s say you had an argument with your significant other and are very eager to state your feelings and get the conflict resolved. If you are angry in the moment, how do you think the conversation will go? Would it be better to create some space between your intended discussion to think of what and how you will communicate to him/her? Patience provides this space, and most of the time, a more positive outcome.
P – (Perseverance) – How can I persist; rise above?
Some situations that keep us from feeling happy are difficult and may not be resolved as quickly as we’d like. For example, perhaps we are dealing with a very sick relative and we are anticipating their loss. The feeling of loss is one that can easily permeate throughout all areas of our life. Understanding what healing we can bring to the situation and creating within us a feeling of fight and survival can really pull us through. We may not know what the outcome will be, but wouldn’t it feel better to intend for a positive result? Perseverance can lift our spirits, and therefore our HQ, because we are fighting for something that is worth our time and attention, regardless of how negative it may seem in the moment. Remember, when the going gets tough, the tough get going!
Y – (You!) – How are YOU responsible for your unhappiness?
This is my favorite. The key to happiness is within each of us…its power is within YOU! We have all heard this before, but it is always worth repeating and believing it—the only person that can make you happy is YOU. We must take personal responsibility for our thoughts, feelings and actions. Understanding how our thoughts often sink us is important. YOU create your thoughts…so create powerful and empowering thoughts in every moment for many happy moments!
Interestingly enough, we also can do something as simple as smiling to lift our spirits. In an article I once read in Oprah, the author explains how when we smile, or even sigh (release), our Vagus nerve is working behind the scenes to reduce our heart rate and calm our immune response. Cool! No wonder smiling feels good.
Additionally, the article sites the importance of the hormone, Oxytocin, which releases when we do things like watch sentimental commercials, or laugh at funny tv shows. It is the hormone that uplifts us. Ahh! Evidence that we simply could sit on the couch, eat popcorn, and watch funny movies, or cry at heart tugging commercials!
So, although happiness can be explained scientifically (via the Vagus Nerve and the creation of Oxytocin) and we can cause it by smiling and laughing, we also can drive happiness in our lives by paying close attention to our thoughts— changing them, and acting upon our new, powerful thoughts.
What new thoughts and actions will you create to shift up your HQ? I’d love to hear from you!
In closing, here’s a great quote that is woven into a beautiful dish towel that my wonderful friend Lou gifted to me a while back—“Life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself!”
Now, smile, laugh, and go create your fabulous, HAPPY life!
Monique
Quotability – Albert Einstein
May 14, 2015
I’m back with a quote from Albert Einstein that reminds us of the importance of mindfulness! Watch the video and share with a friend!
“He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand wrapped in awe, is as good as dead, his eye are closed.” – Albert Einstein
Why all the BUZZ about coaching?
May 11, 2015
What is Coaching?
You’re probably no stranger to the term “Coaching”. Although this career track and process has been around for quite some time, it is growing like wildfire— not only in corporations and in our personal lives, but in all levels of education as well. As a career it can feel similar to therapy or counseling, mentoring, or consulting. Depending upon your style and experience, however, it can certainly be a nice mix of several of these modalities. It’s also a wonderful compliment to training.However, the process of coaching is very distinct and focuses not on the past, but on what’s desired and needed to propel one forward toward experiencing the results they are seeking. Coaching is truly about forward motion. To be even more specific, it’s about connecting with what sometimes is not immediately seen or felt, those beliefs and behaviors that may unconsciously be holding us back. Skilled coaching can hone in on these important aspects of ourselves.
Why I Decided to Become a Coach
One of the reasons most coaches start dabbling in the business, or transition into it full time, is because they enjoy helping others become more self-aware, and ultimately, more successful in all aspects of their lives and careers. It’s very rewarding. One of the reasons I enjoy coaching so much is that I love really “being with my client”, or meeting them where they are. By doing this, I’m able to become the kind of coach each of my clients needs. Some of my clients just need me to listen and help clarify what they are learning about themselves and their situations, others need me to brainstorm with them and create action new thoughts, behaviors and actions that support their vision, and others need me to help them stay accountable (get it done!)
A simple process I like to use is:
• Assess (understand self)• Identify (what needs to change/improve)• Create (steps to make it happen)• Measure (track success)I love molding my style for their benefit. The strategies I will use with an executive may be different than the ones I will use with my children, but the coaching process holds true, and it’s one that will empower others to take more responsibility in their lives and push forward toward success–however they define it.
Here’s another way to look at the process of coaching, offered in article in Forbes by Candice Frankovelgia of the Center for Creative Leadership.
1) Building the relationship.
It’s easier to learn from someone you trust. Coaches must effectively establish boundaries and build trust by being clear about the learning and development objectives they set, showing good judgment, being patient and following through on any promises and agreements they make.
2) Providing assessment.
Where are you now and where do you want to go? Helping others to gain self-awareness and insight is a key job for a coach. You provide timely feedback and help clarify the behaviors that an employee would like to change. Assessment often focuses on gaps or inconsistencies, on current performance vs. desired performance, words vs. actions and intention vs. impact.
3) Challenging thinking and assumptions.
Thinking about thinking is an important part of the coaching process. Coaches ask open-ended questions, push for alternative solutions to problems and encourage reasonable risk-taking.
4) Supporting and encouraging.
As partners in learning, coaches listen carefully, are open to the perspectives of others and allow employees to vent emotions without judgment. They encourage individuals to make progress toward their goals, and they recognize their successes.
5) Driving results.
What can you show for it? Effective coaching is about achieving goals. The coach helps the employee set meaningful ones and identify specific behaviors or steps for meeting them. The coach helps to clarify milestones or measures of success and holds the individual accountable for them.
As you can see, the skills used by coaches are ones that can benefit individuals professionally and personally, from all walks of life. Here at FIU Life Well LED, coaching is at the foundation of everything we do. We’ve seen how coaching has improved the lives of many students, professionals and individuals, and we’ve launched several programs that can help you learn how to be a great coach—for yourself, your employees, or in any capacity that you design. Coaching niches are endless!
Check out some of the options below! We are here to support your growth and development.
Life & Leadership Potentials 3-Day Experience
Personal Coaching for Life Optimization (One-Day Workshop)
Coaching Skills for Leaders (One-Day Workshop)
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Quotability – Thea Alexander
May 7, 2015
Do you struggle with asking for what you deserve? Watch this week’s Quotability video to find out how I do it, and how you can to!
“Great things are only possible with outrageous requests.” – Thea Alexander
The Unexpected Dividends of Curiosity
May 5, 2015
“Curious is a good thing to be, it seems to pay some unexpected dividends.”
Quotability – George Addair
April 30, 2015
For this week’s Quotability I’m talking about FEAR! The one thing that holds many of us back from our own greatness. Watch this video and find out how I define the 3 different types of fear, and how you can define your own fears so that you don’t miss out on any opportunities!
“Everything you’ve ever wanted, is on the other side of fear.” – George Addair
The Pilgrimage to being SUPER moment-to-moment
April 27, 2015
- S – Sacrifice. We won’t make it very far without sacrificing (time, money, hard work, etc.). He shared how he was accepted into one of the finest schools in NYC because he was Hispanic, but his father didn’t allow him to accept the scholarship, or “free ride”. Instead, he worked to pay for half of his tuition, and his father paid for the balance.
- U – Urgency. You have to move fast and want it. Once you know that you want it badly and believe in it, don’t let it go. Fight every day for it.
- P – Passion. Life is too short to invest your time and energy into something that doesn’t fulfill you or help you to learn and grow. Look for the passion!
- E – Execute. Ideas are only ideas until you bring them to life.
- R – Results. Bottom line…you need a bottom-line! How will your success be defined? What results are you seeking?
Quotability – Chinese Proverb
April 23, 2015
Are you interrupting someone from leading their own life well? Today I share a Chinese proverb and why sometimes it’s best to get out of the way!
“The person who says it cannot be done, should not interrupt the person who is doing it.” – Chinese Proverb
Illumined Life Leadership 