October 1, 2015
Earlier this month we discussed Self-Mastery and how by resonating at a high frequency of energy (more on that coming soon!), we attract what we want into our lives with little or no effort.
What holds us back from living the lives we desire?
Some people attribute the lack of having what they want to fate – that their lives are somehow “meant to be” the way they are. Many people don’t like the concept of fate, however, because it negates free will. But what if neither the traditional concept of fate, nor free will, really existed for most people? I’ve been curious about these things all my life, and when I learned about Energy Leadership by Bruce Schneider, I realized that an unusual concept called self-fate helps explain why so many of us don’t have what we really want.
Self-fate is the idea that because our past is dominating our thought processes, and because most people are not consciously living in the moment, our past actually creates our future. Because we are making choices based on our past experiences, we cannot change our future unless the control of the past is removed, and we choose to live in the now. If you’ve been following me for a while, you’ll know that living mindfully is one of actions I take regularly to help me stay out of the past and focus on making THIS MOMENT the most powerful and energetic it can be. You can find some of my mindfulness blogs here.
So self-fate really means that for most of us, it is us who create our fate because we are imprisoned by the past. We have pre-determined choices that we are programmed to make, and our past does the programming for us. Yikes! Living in the moment…living consciously is the first step to correcting this. In fact, in this powerful moment, you can consciously decide to direct your fate NOT by the past, but by your conscious choices (yes, as opposed to subconscious choices!).
Many of us know this woman, and some of may have been this woman (or man)…
Think about a woman who is unhappy with her relationships and says that she seems to meet the same kind of men over and over again. She complains that men are all the same, looking for the same thing. She believes that she’s never going to find a relationship that is mutually respectful and serving, as opposed to the relationships she’s had, where she’s been emotionally abused. It’s no wonder she feels this way, as she’s had many experiences that have created those beliefs. In fact, it’s quite normal that she believes what she does, which poses a real challenge – since she sees men as disrespectful, abusive and manipulating, she is putting out “victim” energy. She is being a victim to the beliefs she has. And what is the result of that? The vibration she emits is picked up by those whose energy matches those beliefs: men who take advantage of her. To them, she’s an easy target. And so, she actually creates her future relationships, and will continue to do so unless she changes her sense of self, or, who she is BEING, in relationships.
So while aspects of our lives may very well be pre-determined, let’s recognize that there are many things in our lives that we can control, and one of those is how aware we are of what from our past we are allowing to re-create itself in our present. Have you caught yourself saying, “Well, of course that’s going to happen!” Guess what? You just confirmed that it will continue to happen! Make sense?
Be mindful. Listen to what your thinking and saying for clues. Your fate is very well in your hands. How will you guide it?
In October, we’ll dive more into our energy, what that really means, and how it is one of the most powerful tools at our disposal to direct our self-fate, and our self-mastery.
It’s your life, lead it well.
Monique Reneé Catoggio
August 4, 2015
My mom’s former neighbor had a strange habit. When we observed him we really thought he was crazy. He would sit for what seemed like hours on his front lawn picking his grass. He would never look up at passing traffic, just picked away, like a monkey picking bugs off his companion’s fur. What was he doing? Was he crazy? He must be, or so I thought, until I took to the green! Maybe there was something to this picking at grass after all?
It was one of those moments when relativity strikes you harder than usual, when your range of emotions is as wild as a roller coaster…it climbs, then drops, then quiets, and the cycle begins again. My soul was tired in that moment. I looked outside to the bright beautiful day and the grass called me. All I could think about was taking my shoes off, stepping on the thick warmness and spilling my soul out onto the green grass. All of a sudden I became that crazy neighbor, picking and picking the diverse grass, pulling it apart, and noticing the deep life contained within it. This big jungle under our feet is just as intricate as our lives, I thought, yet more simple.
My next thought was, “Wow! What an amazing activity of mindfulness this is!” This neighbor was onto something! It’s not like my empty feeling subsided, but all of a sudden I was observing my emptiness and it was ok. I was ok. I didn’t need to be anyone or anywhere in that moment, but deep in the grass that was much larger than anything I was dealing with in the moment.
For me, now, Green Peace has a new meaning. And that crazy man, well, he doesn’t seem so crazy to me anymore, simply a bit wiser.
May you find your own moments of wise craziness and peace within the green.
July 22, 2015
“…We have an infinite number of moments between now and the time we are going to die. That is a lot of time for living. So there is no hurry!” —John Kabat-Zinn
If you’ve been following my recent blogs, and/or you subscribed to our Summer of Wellbeing, you know I’ve been blogging about John Kabat-Zinn’s book, Mindfulness for Beginners. Let’s keep it going for a bit longer.
Although I’ve already discussed a few of these in my previous posts, let’s re-cap what Kabat-Zinn tells us are the 7 Attitudes that are foundational to a mindfulness practice. He describes them as:
- Non-Judging – Lead with your heart, here, not your mind. There’s nothing to do or be, just sit in awareness and understand what’s happening.
- Patience – Lack of patience prevents us from being where we are already, the whole point of mindfulness.
- Beginner’s Mind – Even Monks and Lamas with decades of experience may say, “I don’t really know anything,” and they mean it! One Zen Master is famous for having described his forty years of teaching as “selling water by the river.”
- Trust – Trust in the nothingness. Trust in what you discover (or you don’t!). Trust in your senses. Trust your feelings.
- Non-Striving – Set aside “human doing.” Boredom can be unbelievably interesting. As you watch it, you might find that it dissolves into something much more interesting, another mind-state.
- Acceptance – Has nothing to do with passive resignation – far from it. Ultimately, it means realizing how things are and finding ways to be in wise relationship with them. And then to act, as appropriate, out of that clarity of vision.
- Letting go – It means letting be. It doesn’t mean pushing things away or forcing ourselves to release what we are clinging to, what we are most strongly attached to. It is non-attachment to outcome. We can let go of both our cravings and our fears, we can let things be as they are.
I don’t know about you, but when blogging about mindfulness and reading/writing about these 7 attitudes, I catch myself breathing deeply, smiling, and ultimately “being”. I feel that non-judgment, trust and acceptance within me, and it truly does become easier to let go. And then it makes me ponder, these attitudes are not just about being mindful, they are truly about LIVING. How we choose to go through all of our moments. Pondering further, I can’t help but to get excited about contemplating our Beginner’s Mind in particular. In the book, Kabat-Zinn compares beginner’s mind to the beauty and joyfulness of young children, and the WONDER they see and feel in all of their doings and beings.
This idea took me right back to my childhood and the freedom and freshness I experienced. In fact, while walking our dog this week, my husband led me down his normal walking path. Under a bridge that leads to the other side of the street. In that second I went back in time to my life as an 8 year old. This exact spot (under the bridge) was what I called “Paradise”. It was my paradise, because I would ride my bike there and climb under the bridge to think and dream by myself! Now, I had a huge laugh, because under the bridge was a lot of trash, not-to-enticing smells, and I’m sure some gators lurking under the water. Yet, as a child I didn’t judge the bridge or anything around it. I didn’t see all those “bad” things, because I chose to see a “paradise.” I craved WONDER and created it for myself.
Why does the WONDER need to stop when we “grow up”? Why does the judgement get stronger, the trust lessen, the lack of patience increase, and our fears falsely lead us to believe that we have to DO to BE?
NOPE. I won’t buy into it any longer. Are you with me? How did you WONDER as a child. Were you full of WONDER?
My request for you this week is to step back into the past briefly to remind yourself of that WONDER and give yourself permission to bring that energy into your life today. Then, thank your past and LET IT GO and come into the NOW, where you can create a life full of WONDER through this magnificent practice of mindfulness.
“Challenge for us as adults is to see whether we can meet each moment an recognize it as fresh and therefore interesting – after all, we’ve never seen this one (moment) before.
“If you take a ‘you’ve seen one moment, you’ve seen them all’ attitude, you’re going to get very bored cultivating mindfulness.” — John Kabat-Zinn
It’s your life, lead it well!
May 5, 2015
“Curious is a good thing to be, it seems to pay some unexpected dividends.”
April 27, 2015
- S – Sacrifice. We won’t make it very far without sacrificing (time, money, hard work, etc.). He shared how he was accepted into one of the finest schools in NYC because he was Hispanic, but his father didn’t allow him to accept the scholarship, or “free ride”. Instead, he worked to pay for half of his tuition, and his father paid for the balance.
- U – Urgency. You have to move fast and want it. Once you know that you want it badly and believe in it, don’t let it go. Fight every day for it.
- P – Passion. Life is too short to invest your time and energy into something that doesn’t fulfill you or help you to learn and grow. Look for the passion!
- E – Execute. Ideas are only ideas until you bring them to life.
- R – Results. Bottom line…you need a bottom-line! How will your success be defined? What results are you seeking?
April 6, 2015
“Time waits for no one and things can end tomorrow.” – Stevie Nicks
March 25, 2015
What inspires you, and how do you best tap into your inspiration?
One of the great things I’ve learned about honoring who we are as individuals is understanding that we are uniquely different in many ways, including how we each access our “inner genius”. What’s our Inner Genius? Well, I define it as that bank of ideas and knowledge that we’ve deposited coins into all of our lives. Everything we see, touch, smell, hear, feel, and learned ends up in this “bank”. Over time, all of that information mixed together with INSPIRATION— that which does not come from us, but from a universal source — creates our Inner Genius. Accessing our Inner Genius doesn’t always come easy. Let’s face it, folks, we aren’t always listening!!! In fact, we’ve got so much inner dialogue happening constantly, that sometimes it’s hard to quiet the chatter so we can tap that inner knowing and also be open to outside inspiration. Yes, one of the very best ways for all us to open those channels more widely is via meditation or mindfulness. We can access some really juicy stuff that way! But, I bet you have ways that are unique to you. Do you know what they are? And, if you knew, could you tap your Inner Genius more often? I really enjoyed this past weekend. It was an active one— some fun family and friend time, cultural activities, and some quiet time around my home and neighborhood. It was through some of those activities (the more simple ones), that I realized what those inspiration HOT buttons are for me, and they include WALKS, WINDOWS, and WATER! Walks do it every time! I don’t know what it is about taking a walk, but the inspiration is quite spectacular! Perhaps it is being out in nature and just taking it all in. I get some of my best ideas on walks. Windows do the same! I did a bit of work over the weekend, and I have a lovely desk that sits by one of my large windows facing my Oak Trees and butterfly plants. At any given moment starring out the window I can see Blue Jays or Cardinals (my favorite!), wild parrots, or lots of butterflies! Just sitting quietly and watching, can spur on some great ideas! Finally, being in water is a sure-fire way to get me going! Whether it’s a nice long shower or tub, the inspiration literally flows! I love being aware of my Inner Genius triggers, because when I have those moments of frustration or stagnation, all I have to do is take a walk, look out a window, or get in some water, and voila!!! How do you tap your Inner Genius? What gets those ideas flowing for you? It’s your life. Lead it well!Monique
Are you looking to awaken your Inner Genius?
Then our new Life Well LED creative course is perfect for you!