What’s Burning You?
February 26, 2015
I’m leading a stimulating week of trainings and haven’t had the moment to blog this week, so I thought I’d share one of my early blog posts from 2009. It offers a few ideas on how to both resurrect an early passion of yours, as well as identify a thought or feeling that may be holding you back in some way. It’s a blast from the past, this week at Life Well Led. I hope you enjoy it!
My husband recently bought an outdoor fire pit for our son’s backyard camping party. Last night, I was enjoying the crisp, cool evening by
the fire and was mesmerized by the stunning flames. Within in a minute or so this question came to me—“What’s burning you?” So, I decided to ponder upon the question for a while.
There are two ways to look at this question—both very useful. The first way provides us with a mechanism to dig down deep inside and discover (or rediscover) what positively ignites us—“lights us up.” A great way to do this is to think back to your childhood (8 yrs old or younger) and try to remember what you absolutely loved doing. What were you doing? Who else was with you? Can you remember your feelings? Why did you enjoy doing this activity so much? How was it meaningful for you?
Don’t you remember the feeling of being a child…carefree with
not much to worry about or fear over? These feelings tend to get tucked away as we grow older and the expectations of others and the world weighs heavily upon us. But, if we can just tap into that fire again (our true colors) and learn to incorporate some of these childhood passions into our lives, perhaps we would feel more fulfilled.
Here’s an example…I recently heard a woman describe that as a child she absolutely loved to dance. Now that she can look back at that experience, she realized that it wasn’t the dancing itself (because she commented that she wasn’t a good dancer), but how she felt when she was in front of an audience, and her interaction with them. So, today, she taps into that passion by making sure that she often has the opportunity to “perform” in front of others in her career, whether it be during a staff meeting, presentation, event, or otherwise. These activities conjure up in her the same emotions she felt as a child dancing. What has resulted for her is that she now feels happier at work. Neat realization, huh?
A second way that we can look at this question is to uncover what negatively burns us inside. You know that feeling when someone embarrasses you in public or doesn’t include you in an activity or gives you criticism you can’t handle? Whatever the “thing” or “things” are that burn us up inside truly provide us with some insights that, if uncovered, can help create new opportunities in our lives that we, ourselves, are blocking.
Let’s take the example of not being included in an activity. I know someone who would “burn up” every time his peers would go out for lunch and not invite him. It would infuriate him, especially because he felt he had a great relationship with all of them. He never spoke to anyone about it though so as not to be seen as a pushover. However, after digging a bit, he realized that perhaps the reason he had not been invited was due to his office door being closed around lunch, which may have given others the impression that he was not interested in socializing or joining them.
So what changed? You got it…he opened his door and the invites poured in! It is amazing how our beliefs and self-doubts can limit us and make us angry in the meantime. And what does anger do? It can affect our stress levels, which can in turn affect our health, sleep habits, etc. Let’s leave this for another blog!!
So, what fires within yourself can you IGNITE or PUT OUT? Sometimes, simple internal shifts can make such a difference in how we feel and how we show up in our lives each day.
This week, I encourage you to light your fire within. As singer and songwriter Jerry Garcia expressed in one of his beautiful ballads,“Inspiration moves me brightly”, may you be inspired and moved this week and brightly shine your light!
Monique
Love What You’re Doing Right Now.
February 18, 2015
“The flow experience is good in that it has the potential to make life more rich, intense, and meaningful. It’s good because it increases the strength and complexity of the self.” — Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
I’ve been blogging a lot recently about goals, probably because I, too, have been trying to find the right mix between “being” and “doing“. Perhaps you’ve thought about this as well. In fact, in addition to a few very focused whole-life goals that I set for myself this year, I also created one over-arching theme for my year, which describes how I want to feel. It goes like this:
FLOW IN ALL THINGS
(You dig it, don’t you?!!) I have to say that because I’m focused on being whatever I need to be in each moment, I’m definitely feeling the flow, while accomplishing a lot more! It’s an interesting phenomena, and quite the opposite of what many of us are used to, which is DO, DO, DO and keep going!
So how does this work? Well, for me, it can go something like this…
1. Look at my to-do list once at work and begin to plow away.
2. Today I am not feeling so well, and I realize that I may not be able to accomplish some things on that list.
3. PAUSE. Become fully aware of how I feel and what I need in this very moment (more self-compassion; less action). P.S. – This is hard for Type A’s!!
4. ACCEPT how I feel and decide what the best use of my time is in this moment. What can I focus on and move forward with the energy I have available to me right now?
5. I choose to BE in that feeling of “not-so-good”, honor it, and identify what I can do in this moment that affirms how I feel and also allows me to act. In this real example, I made the decision to push-off some tasks to later in the day, or worst case, the next day. I decided that I would respond to some communication that I felt well enough to tackle.
6. By consciously choosing this action (and not feeling badly about it!) I was able to focus on just that, let the rest go, and flow– BE and ACT at the same time.
In the book FLOW by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, this is referred to as The Merging of Action and Awareness.
Now, we can take my reason in #2 above and replace it with any other reason that could have interrupted my plans for the day. Many of us lead hectic careers, where emergencies pop up all the time. I used to work in a hospital, and that feeling of being on your toes all the time was ever-present. You were always looking over your shoulder waiting for that “thing” to happen. Sometimes we can’t change the nature of work environments like this (some people are hard-wired to thrive in these environments!), but we can learn to flow with them and find enjoyment in them. This is the ultimate benefit of flowing, and it can be one of the best ways to be engaged in your life and in your work.
Awareness and choice are really KEY in helping to make this happen. As stated in FLOW, “(It is) An individual’s ability to restructure consciousness so as to make flow happen.” You have to choose it, folks!
Although I know that we can and do achieve flow most often by simply leveraging our strengths, which can create optimal and enjoyable states, we also can consciously create the conditions of flow. Some of these conditions are:
- Concentrating on the task at hand
- Having a sense of exercising control
- Doing something that is not done with the expectation of some future benefit (not of the self!)
So when that “thing” happens, or the other shoe drops, what will you choose? Consider going with the FLOW, and knowing that you can, indeed, find happiness in those moments and love what you’re doing right now.
“Give your fullest attention to whatever the moment presents.” —Eckhart Tolle
It’s your life. Lead it well.
Monique
Light Bringer
June 4, 2012
I guess I love Astrology so much because I really believe in energy. In the push and pull of things. In the shifting of time, space and seasons. It’s all energy. We are energy. And guess what? Our thoughts, dreams and desires are energy too.
Where do they come from? Some would say they come from Source, and perhaps we all define Source differently. I’m cool with that. For me, no matter what you call it or how you define it, Source is energy which connects to us humans via our Soul.
You’ve got one of those, yes?
SIDE NOTE: This is my mind on a cup of hot mint tea. Can you imagine my mind on a glass of wine? (Laughing to myself!!) Watch out! LOL.
So what is your SOUL telling you? What’s the ESSENCE of your Soul, and how are you maximizing that ESSENCE that is uniquely YOU to create the life you desire?
As a coach I know that this is something people really want to understand, define, and ultimately, live by. Well, during certain energetic cycles, this ESSENCE becomes a little easier to tap. One of those times begins tomorrow.
BACK TO ASTROLOGY!
I subscribe to Maya White’s newsletter monthly to see what the planets are doing and what that may mean for us energetically and tangibly. According to Maya, on June 5th something very rare happens…Venus begins its transit across the Sun. During her transit, her energy is said to be one of connection to our soul essence…our purpose…our Dharma. So, why not take advantage of this energy to get EN POINTE if we haven’t taken the time to so?
For those of you who may already be feeling this energy and wanting to get your groove on, it can be as simple as asking yourself:
- Who am I when no one is looking?
- What do my closest friends love and appreciate about me?
- If I can define myself in one word, what would that be?
- What do I love about myself?
- What makes me smile and laugh?
- Who am I today and who do I wish I could be tomorrow?
- Venus is the only planet named after a female, the ancient Roman goddess of love & beauty.
- Other attributes of Venus include, vanity, the arts, physical love, attraction, affection and validation!
- Venus was once thought to be two different stars, the evening star and the morning star–that is, the ones that first appeared at sunset and sunrise.
- Venus is known at the “light bringer” and is the brightest of all the planets and stars.
Straying from our Truth
March 6, 2011
c/o Paul Teixeira
Today is my Birthday. And what better a way to celebrate my Birthday then to give birth to something new; something that is a piece of me…a piece of my truth. So here you have it, a new beautiful ranting, a new blog.
On days like today I think back to my childhood and I really try to remember who I was and what invigorated me; made me lose time. For it is my belief that we are living authentically during those moments of simple pleasures, joy and timelessness. Whatever it is we are doing in those moments we can do forever! Ahh…remember those days? Yes, I know who I was, and I make sure to tap into that energy now as a Bigger Child. That energy is still within me; my core self, and I owe it to my child self to stay true to who I’ve always been.
I talk a lot. I talk a lot to lots of people, especially high-achieving women. In trying to achieve so much, many times we lose sight of our truth. It becomes blurry, fuzzy, and seems so far away. We stray. As high achievers we get a HIGH by multi-tasking; getting a lot of things done at the same time, or doing too much to please too many. But do we really get a lot done? Are we pleasing ourselves? How much joy or effectiveness am I getting out of one specific task or activity if I have to drop it to begin another, and another, and another? As a high achiever, what exactly am I achieving?
So today– my day– I focus on the intention and action of living my truth and not straying from it, which as we all know is so easy to do.
I read this today and it cemented the concept for me. Perhaps it will for you too:
“The moment we stray from where we are, we create a tension between two places– where we are and where we are thinking of being. It is this tension that blocks us from the sensation of being fully alive, because being split in our attention prevents us from being authentic– even though managing many tasks at once is considered intelligent. That we stray from the moment is not surprising. The more crucial thing is that we return.“
Yesterday, I received so much joy from sitting silently and watching my daughter, age 6, revel in her body, her creativity, her enthusiasm in her new dance class. I closed my eyes and went way back in time and saw myself dancing and singing uninhibited in front of no one, or anyone, who cared to watch. I could care less of anyone’s judgement or lack of it. All I cared about in that moment and for hours on end was the feeling I felt, and the dream in my heart. If anyone wanted to come along for the ride, all the better. It was all about the process, not the outcome; the performance, not the feedback. I LOVE this part of MY TRUTH!
What part of YOUR TRUTH do you revel in?
I also found much joy and laughter in reading an article in O about a busy working mother who had visions of her complicated, messy life turning around completely; of becoming someone other that who she was.
She shares:
“I am not and was never going to be the relaxed, organized, manicured career mom, any more than I was going to be the shiny, elusive cheerleader or the diligent Gap employee or the virginal good girl or the wise young lady who dates only responsible, emotionally available guys. I am a disorganized, melancholy second-guesser who rhapsodizes a little too loudly over the pleasures of a cold beer at the end of a long day.”
And, although she managed to have a few really amazing chaos-free days, she embraces her authenticity by proclaiming:
“This is true…I love this f_ _ _ing clown show of mine! Sometimes, even though my world is in chaos, I see myself braiding my daughter’s hair, drinking my tea, blending up a fruit smoothie and singing and dancing crazily to distract the baby from the blender’s scary, grinding sound, and I think…That woman is weird, but she does seem to be enjoying herself.”
I love that. I love that although her world-ly self tells her how she should be (which is not authentic to her), she honors what her spirit self tells her she is, and what feels right and real.
Today I celebrate me. The child me, and the somewhat developed bigger child me, who always wants to give birth to projections of myself and juicy bits of what I’ve always offered to this world.
Want a piece of me? Well, you have no choice. You’re gonna get it!
Cheers to me, to you, and to living our truth!
Monique
Rebellion: A Cry for Truth, Purpose and Freedom
December 6, 2010
While reading Open by Andre Agassi I couldn’t help but see how clearly his life-long struggles so closely tie to the meaning behind our chakras (energy centers within our body). In fact, while reading his story I also devoured Truth Heals by Deborah King, which clearly depicts for us how the answers to almost every challenge or illness we have in our lives can be revealed for us within our chakras.
For those of you who have absolutely no idea what a chakra is, here is a fairly simple definition:
A chakra is believed to be a center of activity that receives, assimilates, and expresses life force energy. Chakras are energy centers along the spine located at major branchings of the human nervous system, beginning at the base of the spinal column and moving upward to the top of the skull, through which pass 3 major energy channels. Chakras are considered to be a point or nexus of biophysical energy or prana of the human body. Prana is the basic component of your subtle body, your energy field, and the entire chakra system…the key to life and source of energy in the universe. It is the six major chakras that correlate with basic states of consciousness.
Each chakra in your spinal column is believed to influence or even govern bodily functions near its region of the spine. Because autopsies do not reveal chakras, most people think they are a fancy of fertile imagination. Yet their existence is well documented in the traditions of the far east.
For the sake of this post, let’s leave the definition at this. I do encourage those of you who are interested in reading more about chakras to visit this link and simply enter “chakras” into the book search category: http://bit.ly/9EuwlC.
Now, back to Andre Agassi and Open. The book is all about his life, and in general, his complete lack of control over his childhood, adolescence, and career. About coming to his TRUTH and authenticity later in life.
Here’s a telling quote from Open, on Agassi being a rebel:
“They say I’m trying to change the game. In fact I’m trying to prevent the game from changing me. They call me a rebel, but I have no interest in being a rebel, I’m only conducting an everyday run of the mill teenage rebellion. Subtle distinctions, but important. At heart, I’m doing nothing more than being myself, and since I don’t know who that is, my attempts to figure it out are scattershot and awkward—and, of course, contradictory. I’m doing nothing more than what I did at the Bollettieri Academy. Bucking authority, experimenting with identity, sending a message to my father, thrashing against the lack of choice in my life. But I’m doing it on a grander stage.”
A dramatic part in the book is when Agassi essentially lies to the world about his “rocker” and rebellious hairdo, which essentially is a wig. At a very young age he is trying to come to terms with losing his hair. It’s a part of the cover up of his whole life. According to Agassi he “hates tennis.” Can you imagine that? If that’s the case, where and what is his TRUTH?
In reading the two books so far it seemed crystal clear to me that his 5th and 6th chakras where blocked. Here’s what Deborah King tells us about these two energy centers:
5th Chakra (Throat)
You’re not being completely truthful. You’re angry; you can’t be who you are. You may look polished and put together, but you feel like a scared child inside. SOLUTION: be authentic. When you can trust yourself to be truthful on the pages of your journal, you can trust yourself to be truthful in the world. Just watch how your whole body relaxes as you express your truth. You’ve given yourself permission to be you—to speak your mind, to give voice to the truth of who you are.
Agassi has done this in Open. A first and HUGE step toward energizing his 5th chakra and healing.
6th Chakra (Third Eye)
You lack higher wisdom for guidance and have no signs that you are on the right path. You’re not tapped in to your internal messages regarding purpose and direction nor visualizing positive or peaceful outcomes. You’re not putting self-interest aside and instead embracing the greater good for all. SOLUTION: Expressing the truth about who we are and what we really want is the key to peace and healthy living. Listening to ourselves and acknowledging what we really feel allows us to change what is not working and to live in a more meaningful, purposeful way.
Even more interesting is this ancient description (in the time of Plato) of the 6th chakra and it’s relation to the head, scalp and hair:
The brain is the center of rational thought, the Intellectual center. In both Homer and Plato the psuche (or genos) is considered the immortal part of the Soul. The physical substance corresponding to psuche was marrow (medulla), especially the cerebrospinal fluid of the brain and spine, but also in other parts of the body.
Scalp and facial hair were considered physical emanations of the psuche, and so the hair, scalp and chin were considered sacred. This center corresponds to Chakra 6 (at the brow), called Ajna, which means “authority or command,” an appropriate name for the rational faculty, which Plato said “controls and restrains” the lower faculties; Onians calls it the Executive function.
Can you see how his loss of hair can be attributed to his feeling that he had no authority or command over his life, or that he had no control or restraint, hence his “rebel” image and actions? Quite extraordinary.
I’m not nearly finished with Agassi’s powerful autobiography, but what I know for sure so far is that he has healed; that writing Open was his “journal”… his pouring out of frustration and a work of art with which to finally reveal his authentic self. I highly recommend his book.
In general, healthy chakras are ones that are balanced and not blocked. With practice and awareness we can identify which ones may be blocked and begin to do the work that is necessary to bring them back in balance. For this knowledge, Deborah King’s book, Truth Heals, is excellent. Here is the link to find it: http://bit.ly/fdKnu3.
Namaste,
Monique
Happy Anniversary to Me!!
November 19, 2010
Being En Pointe is 2 years old today!
YAY!!
Last night I was doing homework with my children when the thought came to me… “My blog anniversary must be any day now!” Well, since you may know by now that I don’t believe in coincidences, my timing was perfect; to the day to be exact. And, the timing of things gets even better. Last night I also learned that I was accepted as an affiliate for Hay House, my most cherished publisher of all my gurus!
Since this past year’s theme has been all about reading empowering and thought-provoking books via my Relaxed Book Club, I invite you to continue on this path with me of making the time, even if it’s only one page a day, to read a quality book that allows for that oh-so-amazing aha moment! I just love them. Don’t you?
So, I invite you to peruse Hay House and all of its inspiring offerings. Maybe someone in your life needs a good book to lift their spirits?
I guarantee you’ll find one at Hay House.
(Note: for some reason I’m having trouble attaching links to images/words today, so here’s the link to Hay House: http://bit.ly/9EuwlC .)
My Relaxed Book Club will become even more relaxed as I retreat more deeply into my new selections (I already have about 6 of them!) and the new insights that I just know I will share with all of you at just the right time. In the meantime, I will use this very special anniversary to contemplate how I’ve been En Pointe this past “blogging year” and how I will renew my blog’s purpose to passionately thrust me forward for another wonderful year of reflecting, sharing and transforming.
Thanks for your eyes and hearts, and for any LOL moments you’ve experienced via Being En Pointe and my Relaxed Book Club. I hope you will keep coming back for more. 🙂
Keep reading… Monique
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall. Who am I?
November 3, 2010
Ever feel like others don’t really see who you are? Ever feel like you don’t know yourself either? How strongly would you agree with the belief that you must “know thyself” in order to lead others? Would you agree that we must lead ourselves really well in order to lead others?
This week I have the pleasure of coaching women executives at our Women on the Move program. It’s a pleasure because I am surrounded by powerful female energy; transformative, healing energy. At this retreat we retreat within. We learn to get to know ourselves deeply and understand how appreciating and sharing our authentic selves with all those around us helps us to launch a transformation like no other.
So as women, in particular, where do we begin? For me it begins with awareness and trust…of the self.
It’s no coincidence that we refer to earth as “Mother Earth,” because it is a natural trait of women to nurture, protect, put others first, and many times, say “yes,yes, yes” to anything that will create life, despite exhaustion. It is in our nature to give birth!! In fact, the Tao Te Ching refers to this special female energy of creation in such a beautiful way:
“The spirit that never dies is called the mysterious feminine. Although she becomes the whole universe, her immaculate purity is never lost. Although she assumes countless forms, her true identity remains intact. The gateway to the mysterious female is called the root of creation. Listen to her voice, hear it echo through creation. Without fail, she reveals her presence. Without fail, she reveals her presence. Without fail, she brings us to our own perfection. Although it is invisible, it endures; it will never end.”
Wow. That’s powerful!
If you are eager for a transformation; if you are eager to share with the world your true nature; if you are eager to lead and inspire others to reach their authenticity and greatness….begin with you!
Ask yourself:
-What is the spirit within me that never dies?
-What about me and only me is pure and never lost?
-What do I LOVE to create?
-What would my voice say if I didn’t care about what others would think and say about me?
-What about me can others count on without fail?
If you don’t know the answers to these questions, take time away from the rat race, from spinning your wheels and operating from a place far away from your authentic self. Pause to understand that things don’t have to remain the same; that we don’t have to operate on automatic or on auto-pilot. In fact, we can come to know the power of operating on purpose, driving forward from our authentic self.
Imagine what this small step would do for you; for your life. Imagine how you would inspire others to do the same merely by modeling this powerful behavior.
Look in that mirror today. Instead of asking “Who am I?”, take the time to get familiar with the you Mother Earth created; with the you others are craving to experience.
Namaste,
Monique
Walking and Writing – The Soul’s Work
June 2, 2010
When I blogged last week about The Walk I mentioned that I was almost finished with the book, but I had no idea I would wrap it up within 24 hours. I guess my longing for a novel was stronger than I had imagined! Here’s both the funny and frustrating part– when I noticed (on my Kindle) that I’d read 99% of the book, I thought to myself, “That’s impossible, he hasn’t walked that far!” Then, I came to the last page which read, “Coming April 2011, book 2 of The Walk series.” What??? That was the frustrating part. The funny part was when I shouted out loud, “I have to wait until April??” Yes, I had been suckered, and I wanted more!
I was looking forward to taking each and every step with Alan on his journey to Key West, but I guess I will have to wait a bit longer. So, for those of you who are used to my four posts per book, sorry, we’ll have to pick this one back up in April!
However, there is one thing I didn’t mention about Alan Christoffersen, and that was his journaling habit. It all began when his mother gave him his first diary for Christmas at the age of 8, a little over a month before she dies. As he states once he reaches Key West (we do know he gets there!):
“After a few minutes, I go back and sit cross-legged in the sand next to my pack and do what I always do at the pivotal moments in my life: I take out a pen, open my diary, and begin to write. My writing habit began long ago– long before this diary, long before my walk. It made me feel important to have something in my life of such consequence that I needed to lock it up from the world. (It would be) a habit I would continue for the rest of my life.”
He tells us more:
“I started writing in my diary because my mother told me to. After her death, I continued because to stop would be to break a chain that connected me to her. Then, gradually, even that changed. I didn’t realize it at the time, but the reason I wrote was always changing. As I grew older, I wrote as proof of my existence. I write, therefore I am.”
The Walk IS Alan’s diary.
It seems to me that Alan’s writing habit– his process of purging his soul on paper– prepared him for the moment when he could no longer keep his thoughts and feelings under lock and key, but take them out into the open, exposed, open for nature and the unknown to do with them what they wished. Alan’s walk is his ultimate release, his vulnerable soul’s trek toward transformation.
A few years ago I had the pleasure of meeting Sandy Grason, author of Journalution. Sandy defines Journalution as:
- the act of revealing inner wisdom through writing
- the act of cleansing emotional blocks through writing
- journal writing to produce or further radical change from within
- a process for becoming free from confusion or doubt
- a process for discovering or shining in one’s passion and purpose
- a journey from one place to another (i.e., from where you are now to the life of your dreams).
Makes you want to grab a journal and write, huh? Who doesn’t want a little (or a lot!) of any of the above?
Not many of us will experience the kind of loss that the main character of The Walk does. And, not many of us will ever embark on a 3,600-mile trek on foot. But, we can certainly use his lifelong habit of journaling and his new way of life, walking, in small bits daily to help us live more lightly, creatively, and spiritfully (I may have just invented this word!).
I don’t journal daily, nor do I walk daily, but I have a feeling that if I were to do both daily, mindfully, I would more deeply and meaningfully tap into my inner wisdom, cleanse any blocks, produce radical change from within, become free from doubt or confusion, discover or shine in my passion and purpose, and journey from one place to another.
Blogging certainly helps me achieve many of these.
How do you or can you use writing or walking to do your soul’s work?
Happy Trails…on paper or pavement. 🙂
Monique
My Relaxed Book Club will discuss selections from books I feel help high-achieving professionals continue to develop themselves and work on their personal leadership leading to more fulfilled, balanced and successful lives and careers.
This Is About Me– My Life!
May 17, 2010
My daughter taking a Strategic Pause
I chose this title for my final post about The Leader in Me, because this statement reflects what the students feel at these various schools where the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People have been implemented (all over the world, I might add!). Regardless of how they went about it, the feedback seems to be same. The students recognize and appreciate that these principles, courses and events are about helping them have amazing lives; about identifying how spectacular and unique they are, and about dreaming and achieving.
I’ve referred mostly to A.B. Combs Elementary, the first school to take on The Leader in Me. Their success was so profound that in 2006 they were named the number one magnet school in the U.S. Amazing. However, they are not the only school to achieve success. The second half of the book details how middle and high schools implement the principles differently than do elementary schools, but have also found significant success. Covey highly suggests that each school doit “Their Own Way.” The important part of implementation is not necessarily how it is done, but how the children and teachers feel. Here is a list of a few other schools highlighted in the book with a snapshot of how they infused the Habits:
- Singapore – Chua Chu Kang Primary School: Habits 1-3 are taught to the 10 year olds; Habits 4-7 are taught to 11 year olds, and all of the Habits are taught to the 12 year olds, who were preparing for their national exam.
- Chicago – Noble Street Charter School in Chicago: The 7 Habits are taught as part of the year-long freshman literature class. Students read the 7 Habits for Teens as well as a series of “personal journey” books that promote taking charge of one’s life and overcoming opposition.
- California – Mar Vista High School: The 7 Habits are taught as part of a stand-alone course called Crossroads. It entails a potpourri of life and career skills and uses the Habits as foundation for the course, which is taught to freshman. They also read the 7 Habits for Teens, and use the matching Student Activity Guide.
- Singapore – Clementi Town Secondary School: Created a program called HEY (Highly Effective Youth) to help first-year students transition from lower level to upper secondary level. They focus on one Habit per week and infuse the Habit into all coursework and via events.
- Guatemala – Across all High Schools: The Minister of Education wanted to address the “hopelessness” that most youth felt in the country. She wanted to teach the kids to dream of a better country and a better life. She created the Path of Dreams program to give youth the tools to learn how to dream again and help them create a Life Plan. Students also are required to develop action plans to help remedy a social problem (in teams), like AIDS, or child abuse.
One common thread across all schools listed in the book is that all teachers are taught the 7 Habits prior to implementation.
In beginning this journey my goal was not to set out to prepare my children to be CEOs, but to be able to lead their own lives; to give them timeless principles that can serve as road maps for them daily. As children, their issues may not seem as complex as ours, but certainly they seem BIG to them. Whether it is sharing a cherished toy (for my 5-year-old), or dealing with peer pressure (for my 11-year-old). I feel confident that 7 Habits will help them make the best choices for them in the moment. And, if they happen not to make the choice I would have liked for them to make, well, it will provide another opportunity for us all to reflect and learn.
The final chapter of the book guides parents, like me, to implement these principles at home. Covey recommends using The Power of Modeling, which includes these important components:
- Inspire Trust: The best way for your children to learn the Habits is to see you modeling them.
- Clarify Purpose: Be clear on what you want your children to learn/accomplish. What is your family’s mission? If you don’t have one, create one. Identify milestones.
- Align Systems: How will you get buy-in? How will you teach the principles (books, activities, etc.). How will your children be held accountable and rewarded?
- Unleash Talent: How will you nurture your children’s gifts. How will your children be involved in planning and goal setting? Will they be empowered or micro-managed?
Finally, Covey suggests incorporating a tradition that A.B. Combs created, called the “strategic pause.” He calls it “recompassing.” I loved this idea and will be teaching it to my children for sure!
It involves having students/your children pause for a few minutes, take a drink of water, stretch their bodies, look toward the light, and think of something hopeful. It is a way of re-energizing and refocusing them.
In closing, I will share a beautiful quote found in the book by Helen Keller, whose own challenges led her to be a mentor to many children:
Have you ever been at sea in a dense fog, when it seemed as if a tangible white darkness shut you in, and the great ship, tense and anxious, groped her way toward the shore…and you waited with beating heart for something to happen? I was like that ship before my education began, only I was without a compass…and had no way of knowing how near the harbour was. ‘Light! give me light!’ was the wordless cry of my soul, and the light of love shone on me in that very hour. – Helen Keller
May all of our children be shown the way, with love, light, and leadership.
Have a great week!
Monique
My Relaxed Book Club will discuss selections from books I feel help high-achieving professionals continue to develop themselves and work on their personal leadership leading to more fulfilled, balanced and successful lives and careers.
What’s dying to be born?
March 30, 2010
by cruel shoes
“I didn’t set out to get you to quit your job or to persuade you to become an entrepreneur or merely to change the entire world. All I wanted to do in this book was to sell you on being the artist you already are. To make a difference. To stand for something. To get the respect and security you deserve.”
It is clear to me that Godin’s goal in writing this book (Linchpin) is simple: Know your power. Live your art. Have no regrets. If you do these three things, you may very well achieve the fulfillment in life you’ve always desired; enjoy your career and hobbies, and be surrounded by individuals who truly see you, appreciate you, and want you to thrive. In fact, they won’t be able to live without you.
You can’t live this kind of life if you let your lizard brain dominate. No. Surrender the cog tendencies of conformity, obedience, and compliance. Instead, you should embody passion, compassion, dignity, humanity, and generosity. Know your gifts and be generous with them. Connect with others in meaningful ways with your gifts. This cycle of gift giving should never end. Be indispensable.
Because so many of us at times feel stuck in our careers, however, I feel it is important to share Godin’s perspective of thinking– “My boss won’t let me.” Gosh, I’ve been there (just like you!), but how’s this for an “aha” moment:
“You think your boss won’t let you (be an “artist”), at the very same moment that your boss can’t understand why you won’t contribute more insight or enthusiasm. In most non-cog jobs, the boss’s biggest lament is that her people won’t step up and bring their authentic selves to work.”
Does this change your mind at all? See…it all truly lies within. Don’t give your power away, embrace it and decide to be a Linchpin. As we’ve discussed in earlier blogs this month, being a Linchpin is a CHOICE.
How can you be more authentic and bring more insight and enthusiasm to your job? Imagine that you are doing so in this moment and see how energized you feel.
If you are still a bit stuck with finding your “art,” ponder upon this question I came across on one of my favorite blogger’s (D. LaPorte) posting’s– “What’s dying to be born?” I just adore this question, and have written it on my work board so that I can ask it of myself over and over, so that I don’t stop creating my art.
And, now, I ask you… “What’s dying to be born?”
Wouldn’t it be great if your co-workers and your boss begin to ask you, “Who are you, and where have you been hiding?” Nice.
Know your power. Live your art. Have no regrets. Go do it.
I will leave you with some food for thought Godin shares at the end of the book (And, Seth, thanks for the gift of your book!):
Everybody has their own private Mount Everest they were put on this earth to climb.
Sing in your own voice.
Do the work. Please.
Don’t worry about finding inspiration, it comes eventually.
You are responsible for your own experience.
Ignore everybody.
Avoid the water cooler gang.
The hardest part of being creative is getting used to it.
Dying young is overrated.
………………………………………
Live young at HeART, and prosper!
Namaste,
Monique
My Relaxed Book Club will discuss selections from books I feel help high-achieving professionals continue to develop themselves and work on their personal leadership leading to more fulfilled, balanced and successful lives and careers.
Illumined Life Leadership 