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Are you over-valuing your resolutions?

January 28, 2015

Are You Over-Valuing your New Year's Resolutions?

Now that the majority of us have likely designed a few goals or resolutions for 2015, it may be wise to sit down with them again and assess whether we are over-valuing them. Are we hoping or assuming they will make a difference for us? How do we know for sure? We don’t want to wait a few months to assess them, because statistics tell us that by then we will most likely already have failed!

Ask yourself this question. 

If your boss at work offers you two opportunities to make a bonus by completing a new, critical task, which are you likely to both accept and achieve?

(A) This one that deals with going out and making tons of new contacts (oh, and you happen to LOVE building new relationships), OR

(B) this one that deals with sorting through tons of data to identify sales trends (BTW…you HATE data and sitting still!).

This is a no brainer, right? If this were a true scenario, you would immediately assign a higher value to the first option, because it is something you’ll enjoy, will energize you as you do it, and you’ll have a higher likelihood of achieving it. This could be a meaningful work-related goal for you, because you would be leveraging your strengths.

Let’s now look at a more personal example.

Like weight loss, which most people happen to create resolutions around this time of year. Take Sally, who happens to be quite content with her weight and the way she looks. She had a baby this past year and kept on some that post-baby weight, but she doesn’t mind it. You see, she was quite skinny prior to her pregnancy, and she always wanted to be a bit more voluptuous!

BUT, she started feeling the pressure from her new Mommy Fit Club that getting rid of the post-pregnancy weight was a must. She also was assuming that her husband wanted her to go back to her old, super skinny self. She caved in, and along with her other mommy friends, set a resolution to lose 15 lbs!

What do you think? Is Sally’s goal of high value to her? What do you feel the likelihood will be that she’ll either achieve her goal, or be happy after she’s lost the weight? I’m betting it won’t be high for either!

I’ve learned the hard way, just like many of you! I’m a high achiever who loves a good challenge, but because I, too, have failed at achieving some of my resolutions over the years,

I’ve learned a few things that I’d like to share with you:


Setting goals and/or resolutions is a GREAT thing to do! If you don’t know where you want to go, any road will take you there. Also, research proves that achieving a good challenge increases our levels of happiness!


Rushing your goal-setting can lead to a list of meaningless goals. Perhaps they will look good on paper or in the boardroom, but they won’t feel good inside! In fact, they may lead to feelings of in-authenticity and lack of motivation or purpose.


Goals that are tied to things that you are STRONG at (or strengthen your talents), and which contribute to your strongly-held values or vision for yourself, keep you jazzed and headed toward the finish line.


I love using the end of a year to evaluate how things went. I also love taking my time to ensure that I identify one over-arching intention for my entire year, based on how I want to FEEL; kind of like a theme (I.e., happy, stress-free, fit, intelligent, social, etc.). Finally, I sit down with my Wheel of Life (if you’d like a copy, just email me!) and really evaluate those areas where I want to create some meaningful change. In doing so, my goals will hold a high value, and my chances of achieving them (or coming real close!) is very high.

So, here are some questions you can ask yourself about each goal or resolution now to help you determine if you need to edit them a bit, get rid of them, or take the time to create new, high-value ones.

These questions will help you achieve more clarity around your goals.

1.  On a scale from 1 to 10 (1 = not at all, and 10 = absolutely yes!!) how important is it to ME that I achieve this goal?
2.  Do I want to achieve this goal for me or for someone else?
3.  WHY is this important to me? (It’s really important to answer this!)
4.  Which of my life/career values is this assigned to? (A bigger question is: Do you know what your deeply-held values are?)
5.  If I don’t achieve it, how will I feel?
6.  If I do achieve it, how will I have grown/changed for the better?

Here’s the bottom line, folks, we either grow or die! If our goals/resolutions don’t help us grow into those individuals we hope to become, then we shouldn’t have them! And, if the ones we have are lukewarm or hold no true value for us, they are worthless.

Now, most of us have MANY goals which are assigned to us by our supervisors. How do we make them of high-value to us if they are not? Make sure to join me next week as we tackle this challenge.

It’s your life. Lead it well.
Monique

 

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