It’s Okay to be the Boss!
March 16, 2015
It’s Okay to be the Boss (of your kids!)
I’m sharing this with you today for two reasons:
- For those of you who are parents and want to give these tips a try, and
- For those of you who also believe, like I do, that we can empower our young people early on to see themselves as leaders and take personal responsibility for their success and wellbeing.
Here’s what I’m trying out immediately (or trying to do a better job!):
- Manage Every Day.
I believe in teaching my children to be independent as much as possible, but my husband and I are “in charge” of our children. Every day is an opportunity to check in and be in the know. Even a 5- minute check-in shows we care and are “here” to support and help guide. We may even catch things early that will need some intervention. - Talk Like a Performance Coach.
I am a coach, but sometimes as coaches we don’t tell others what needs to be done, we encourage those conclusions/outcomes by asking great questions. Well, as parents, it’s our job to do both. Sometimes our kids need us to just listen and ask questions, but other times, it truly is necessary for us to show them how things need to happen. We have to be teachers too. - (Manage) One Person at a Time.
This one made me laugh, because I can hear my son, almost daily, say, “Mom, why are you saying ‘both of you’ when I didn’t do anything wrong?” Well, he’s got a point! Sometimes I have the habit of saying, “Both of you (my 2 kids) need to stop doing X, Y, Z” when I really am only speaking to one of them. Ever done this before? I can see how this could be frustrating to either my son or daughter who perhaps was not doing anything wrong in that instance. Stay away from “both of you” or “all of you”. - Make Accountability a Process Not a Slogan.
Just a few nights ago (at 10 pm!!) my son needed to print his homework, when he realized that we have no printing paper. He says, “Mom, why don’t you have paper? Now I can’t print my homework!” Well, that didn’t sit too well with me. I’m thinking to myself, “Yes, I know I’m his mom, but I can’t be in charge of everything and remember everyone’s needs!” Feel me?? So, now, I’m realizing I need to be more clear with kids, in general, about those things that they must be responsible for. From this point on, I’m going to expect that my son keep his own stack of paper and advise us of when he’s almost out so we can purchase more. What are you holding your children accountable for? - Do More for Some People and Less for Others.
Do you feel you need to be fair all the time with your kids? If you buy something for one, then you feel you have to purchase something for another? My daughter recently asked for chores. I was so excited! She wants to earn some cash so she can both save and shop. Of course I complied! The question, however, crossed my mind, “What if my son gets upset that I’m giving my daughter an allowance?” Well, here’s my answer… he’ll get an allowance when he has chores! Pure and simple. Do you agree?
Monique
Leadership Lessons from the Jungle of Life
February 12, 2015
I love it when nature becomes the perfect metaphor for life and leading. My family and I recently took a super fun excursion on a GINORMOUS buggy deep into the Everglades. I have to admit that I was both excited for the adventure, and scared of the “what if’s!” It’s sad to admit that I have not taken much advantage of this beautiful resource in all my 40+ years in Florida.
I was with my children, though, and I kept listening to my inner chatter, which at times was saying something like, “You don’t want your kids to be fearful! Suck it up, smile, and have a blast!” In this moment, my leadership role was as MOM to my kids, preparing them for the Jungle of Life! You know what’s in the jungle…lions, tigers and bears (oh my!)
In this jungle, on this perfect sunny and cool day, we encountered fresh panther and bear tracks (yes, I said fresh!!!) And, as we explored one Cyprus Dome after another, we came across a water moccasin! It got a little hairy at that point, and we realized that we were, in deed, in the presence of danger. We held our breath. We laughed it off. We kept going.
I look back on that day and see all of us without the proper gear (although we tried!), up to our thighs in mucky cold water exploring our South Florida gem, and I’m so proud of what we accomplished and survived as a family. My 16-year-old son and 10-year-old daughter dug deep that day, kept their thoughts positive, and pushed through. And, well, I kept my cool even during those moments where I wanted to grab my kids and run back to the buggy! I pushed myself. In the end, we had a fantastic adventure and created great memories. In fact, our wonderful guide shared that he’d never met a more adventurous family!
On the buggy during our ride back, I couldn’t help but notice how one side of the ‘glades was black, dry, and brittle from brush fires, and the other side was green, lush and vibrant. For me, this signified the yin and the yang in everything, just like my feelings of both excitement and fear. Additionally, it was a great reminder that some things have to die to bear new life.
So what does this have to do with leading? I’d love for you to identify for yourself a personal experience where you could take those learnings from “life” and bring them into your “work life”. I truly enjoy making these parallel comparisons often.
For me, here are a few leadership learnings I took from this journey into the ‘glades:
1. Expect Yin and Yang in Everything!
Even the best of opportunities bring some challenges. Where there is light there also is darkness. Be prepared. There is no better example of this than in nature. As we witnessed…a tree, completely burned, with one small leaf growing out of it! Death, yet signs of new life! I also think about perspectives. Where there is one perspective or opinion, you can bet there will be another! As a leader in all situations, being prepared for this dichotomy can save us a lot of wasted energy.
2. Set the Pace. Be the Example.
Leaders are expected to lead. When we don’t meet those expectations, our tribe loses faith in us. We are nothing without our tribe! My children were definitely looking to my husband and me to model how to think, feel and act during this new adventure for us all. And isn’t that how leadership begins? We learn by and through others. Some leaders are great, and some not so great, but the learning is continuous regardless. Especially when teams and organizations are in challenging, and perhaps risky situations or environments, it really helps to hunker down and follow the leader. Sometimes, that’s the only way to make it through to the end. For us, heading in and out of these high grass and water domes, there was no other way…it was one behind the other!
3. You don’t know what you don’t know!
Although we tried our best to prepare, I’m not sure we knew exactly what we were getting ourselves into! We made a quick run (the day before!) to Target and purchased anything that resembled “jungle gear”. We made some great finds, but we didn’t realize how under-prepared we were until we hit our first dome. That was the negative. The positive is that you better believe we’ll be ready next time. As leaders, if we are able to do the necessary homework and preparations to plan for success, do it! Err on the side of caution. Although we were lucky enough to not encounter a truly sticky situation, we did come really close with that water moccasin! Too close. Sometimes business is unforgiving and you only have one shot to win. I am grateful for our tour guide, and learned a lot from him. As leaders we really don’t know it all and we have to be willing to listen and learn in order to grow.
4. Share and Celebrate.
Don’t we always have war stories to share? No matter what the outcome, it’s so important to focus on what went well and cement those awesome moments in our memories. They really do help us stretch. We all were outside of our comfort zones that day, and stretch we did! We celebrated our adventure with a yummy BBQ lunch, and we still can’t stop talking about it and sharing it with others. At work, these are moments that can really bond a team and provide spaces for vulnerability, which help us all understand that we’re human after all.
I bet you have a similar experience, and I’d love to hear it!
Share and celebrate!
It’s your life. Lead it well.
Monique
3 Ways to Fly High with your Leadership!
December 3, 2014
I just love to watch birds fly, especially when they are in a beautiful formation, all in unison, flowing. I’m also fascinated by solo birds—like hawks— so focused, gliding magnificently, swooping downward to check out potential prey and then accelerating upward. Both scenarios are purposeful and very strategic, just like leadership. Flocks stick together and follow their leader for many reasons—to avoid predators, to fly more swiftly and preserve their energy, and ultimately, to make it to their final destination— together. Do they lose their way sometimes? Sure, but those who stray from formation quickly find their way back and are guided by their fellow flock members and their leader. Solo birds also have a very distinct purpose—to find and capture their prey! Not the kind of goal I’d likely set, but quite important for hawks and the like. They are intently focused on ONE thing, and one thing only. Get food! Survive!
I remember driving home one day and seeing this beautiful white hawk with a V tail. I now know that it was a Swallow-tailed Kite. I had never seen one before. It seemed like it was flying closer and closer to my home, where we have several oak trees where many birds play and live. The closer I got to my home I realized the hawk was stalking one of my trees, and more specifically, a new family that had nested there. I had been observing this new family for days now, especially the mother who never left the nest! She was so watchful of her new baby! I began to panic. What can I do? I asked myself. Well, I truly could do nothing. I arrived home, parked, and ran out of my car toward the tree, but I was too late. The hawk had eyed the new baby and within seconds snatched it and accomplished her goal. After my sorrow died down, I questioned, “Could the hawk have successfully completed it’s mission without it’s intense focus?” Probably not.
I think of leadership in a similar way. Over the years I have come to realize that becoming a strong, effective leader means having the ability to do both— (1) be a crucial member of a team where perhaps you are not leading, but following, and (2) stepping forward in leadership and showing others the way. In the world of “personal leadership” this can look like identifying those goals that you need to accomplish solo, with incredible focused energy, like the hawk, while at other times, being that flock leader where you set the vision and guide others along, allowing mistakes to be made.
One of my favorite books is Jonathan Livingston Seagull, by Richard Bach, because it turns on its back the ordinary story of a seagull whose mission in life is to stick with its group and find food. Not Jonathan! He spent most of his time flying alone and pushing himself to limits no other seagull had ever pushed. He just knew his potential, and he was so anxious to reach it. He pushed himself so hard to keep surpassing his last achievement, regardless of fear or failure or injury. I think most leaders can relate to this inner voice— the calling to reach our potential and break the mold of success. It’s such a motivating story. However, the story also is sad, for we know that in his quest to do the extraordinary he also became an outcast for not being part of his flock and participating in the group way of life. Could he have found success if he had done both and balanced his personal and servant leadership?
So, as leaders, how do we both embrace our inner calling for flying solo while also stepping into the magnificence of leading through others?
Here are three tips to get the best out of both our personal leadership and servant leadership:
1. Always work on your personal leadership.
Not everyone agrees with me, but I do believe that we are all leaders. Are some of us born with innate qualities that allow us to lead more effectively? Absolutely. Do some of us need to be more intentional about leading and practice our leadership? Big Fat Yes. But, nevertheless, we were all born to lead in some capacity. Every single day we are afforded the opportunity to lead. To lead our children, to affect our community through our efforts, to set examples for others and share with them what we have learned—good and bad, and to not be victims to life, but make those crucial decisions for ourselves that will push us forward. Just like hawks, we also need to define those independent goals that only through OUR focus and persistence we will achieve. There is nothing more empowering than making a choice for ourselves and taking personal responsibility for achieving it.
2. Always take a back seat.
A beautiful part of leadership is giving the opportunity for others to lead. Sometimes we will and must step forward to guide our flock to our destination, but other times we will ask another bird to take the lead. Not only does it help us to grow leaders and build solid teams to support our vision and work, but it also helps us to be effective by understanding that we can’t and shouldn’t try to know it all and do it all! We all have unique strengths and gifts that should be utilized. The magic in teamwork is allowing each individual to use his/her talents and hone them for the good of all.
3. Always lead the way!
As effective leaders we must know when it is absolutely imperative that we stand in our leadership, in our strengths, in our conviction, and create that vision that will push others forward. Take the time to understand and know what those non-negotiable occasions/situations/moments are for you as a leader. Not everything can be delegated.
So, you may be saying to yourself, “I have to ALWAYS do these three things?” And my answer is yes! Leadership is a dance. Sometimes we dance solo, sometimes we lead the dance, and sometimes we let others lead! We sashe through these three scenarios constantly!
Every day think of how you can do activate all three in your leadership, and you’ll surely be flying high!
It’s your life. Lead it well.
Monique
4 Ways to Achieve FLOW Through Results-Oriented Operating
October 16, 2014
In the world of conscious living and leading it is understood that when we are not able to “flow”– to focus and be “on”– we are not fully connected with, or aligned with the universe (or “source”). Have you felt those moments, when you’re not fully present, or have a difficult time motivating yourself to get something started or finished? It happens to all of us, and one way to look at your development as a leader is to be very conscious of those moments where there is a disconnect, and through awareness and action, make the necessary shifts in order to get back to flow (and achieving!). As leaders we cannot make things happen and connect with and lead others without the ability to do this. I like to call it–Lighting it Up!
Just last week I attended our Center for Leadership’s Lecture Series, where distinguished global executive Jorge P. Montoya, who among other notable positions and appointments was the President for Proctor & Gamble Latin America, spoke on “Really, The Only Thing That Counts Is Delivering Results.” As a leadership trainer and coach, the title intrigued me quite a bit, and I attended, mostly, to ensure that Mr. Montoya would at some point discuss the human side of leadership and its importance to the bottom line. I’m happy to say that he did do that! In fact, he encouraged those present to learn, learn and continue learning; keep a positive attitude; cultivate and practice humbleness and servant leadership, and infuse love and passion in your job.
However, I respect where he started the conversation, and it reminds me of the idea of flow and being “on”. If you have your own business, or work for a business, there is no escaping the bottom line. Businesses must be profitable, and it does take an enormous amount of time, energy and focus to both reach and surpass profitability, and do it in a way that will support and grow those who work for you, or those with whom you work. Ideally, when business is good, so too is the livelihood of those connected to or surrounded by those businesses. We want business to thrive, right? So, igniting your flow from a very results-focused, bottom line-oriented perspective could certainly do the trick for both you and your business/company you work for.
Although Mr. Montoya’s presentation was mostly directed to the future leaders who were present, I believe his message is crucial for those of us who are in leadership positions, and who want to have more moments where we are Lighting it Up! In fact, what I share with you below has broader meaning. You can apply it to how you lead your finances, for example.
Here’s his prescription:
Principle:
Delivering Consistent Results is the Only Thing That Counts! Generally, you can do this via:
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Flawless execution of a good strategy
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Using your leadership to deliver results (through others!)
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Build the mindset very early on to develop operating discipline
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Design clear, stretch goals for yourself
Executing the Principle via the 4 F’s:
- Focus – Know where to play. Choose 2-3 core competencies. Less is better!
- Forcing Choices – Know how to win. Choose 2-3 choices or “weapons” to beat the competition. Choose what not to do. Don’t fix every problem; feed the strong and starve the weak.
- Frugality – Be brutal on costs, permanently! Develop a permanent scarcity mentality. Free spending sickness is contagious and can get out of control.
- Foresee a Crisis – Anticipate volatility/crisis and competitive moves. Change is constant and inevitable; the adaptive will survive and the proactive will win.
In applying it to my own life and leadership, I can see how those moments when I am not Lighting it Up are in fact times when I’m working on too many things at once. That “focus”, or “forced choice” was not present. In fact, this concept aligns directly with strengths-based leadership–feed what you’re strong at, and starve (or delegate!) what you’re weak at!
In true “Learner” fashion (my #1 strength), I’m always happy to learn and share these learnings with you!
Where in your life or in your leadership can you apply Mr. Montoya’s 4 F’s strategy?
How can you apply this strategy to get back into a flow and Light Things Up?
I’d love to hear your thoughts and examples. Write me a line below.
It’s your life. Lead it well.
Monique
5 Ways to be your own COO!
September 23, 2014
When speaking about my coaching, I often get asked, “What’s personal leadership?” Leadership, at the end of the day, is the ability to inspire others with a clear and powerful vision, mobilize them around that vision, and empower them to productively work alone and together with others to achieve a united mission. Now, take that definition and apply it to one’s own life. A “personal leader”, then, can be seen as someone who has a clear vision for his/her life, mobilizes him/herself daily around that vision, and empowers him/herself to productively walk toward achieving that mission. Personal leadership also entails understanding when we are “off mission” so we can make those necessary changes that will put us back on track.
Heck, you can think about personal leadership like being your own Chief Operating Officer! Why would you let someone else operate your life, right? Yes, we all have to follow orders when we work for others, and oftentimes in teams we have to forgo our own agenda. However, despite scenarios like these, life just flows better and energizes us when we are able to tap into our personal leadership and lead our lives from that “core”, proactively, moment to moment.
A key component of our core is our natural talents–innate ways in which we think, feel and act. Each of us is uniquely inclined to think, feel and act in certain ways. In our own leadership, we often feel in-authentic when don’t operate from our core, but instead do what we think others want from us, or we want to be like “those leaders.” Certainly, there are traits of other leaders that we strive to attain for ourselves. Yet, research clearly shows that being more of who we are naturally, makes us more engaged in our lives and “inner”gized, so we can go out there and do our thing.
Now, let’s simplify this! After all, a COO’s job is no easy task, and leadership is kind of a big thing. One easy and empowering way to begin connecting with and applying our personal leadership is to be clear about our natural talents, which become strengths via our focus, intention and application. Many of us innately understand what our talents are. An easy way to “get it in writing” though is to use the simple and time-tested tool: Strengths Finder. In organizations, especially, where you may want to encourage personal leadership among all your employees, this tool gives you a common language to work with.
When you look at this chart, you can recognize the language that we operate within our careers. These leadership dimensions are critical in any business and for any COO. However, are we naturally strong in all of them? Should we spend our time making ourselves strong in all of them? Or, should we invest in understanding where we operate at our best, using our natural talents, and invest in operating chiefly there? As a Gallup Certified Strengths Coach I’m partial to the ladder, but primarily because I truly believe in the science behind it, I live it, and I have seen the difference when individuals lead their lives from their strengths.
So here are 5 ways that you begin to be your own COO (and love it!)…
- Identify your Top 5 talent themes via Strengths Finder
- Place them on the chart above
- Visually understand how you operate at your best within these dimensions. Some times we are balanced and sometimes we are not. No two leaders’ strengths are identical!
- Take the time to see how your talents currently play out in your life and where they are lacking.
- Intentionally decide how you will play to your strengths daily and do it!
Leading strong in our lives is truly the first step in then being able to lead others in a unique, authentic way. Embrace your unique talents and become your own COO!
If you’d like to take the Strengths path along with others to Name, Claim and Aim your strengths, I’d love for you to join me for my upcoming one-day workshop on October 23rd. Learn more here.
Have a magnificent day!
It’s your life. Lead it well.
Monique
Will the Leader Please Stand Up!
September 18, 2014
“When you sit, sit.
When you stand, stand.
Whatever you do, don’t wobble.”
-Dan Millman
You can’t study leadership without paying attention to what’s happening in the NFL these days. Although there is no direct correlation, what’s happening (or not happening!) in the NFL reminds me of the day, a few years ago, when I was Principal for the Day at a local elementary school.
I really had no idea what to expect, and quite honestly, I didn’t think I’d be doing much that day. Boy was I wrong! My experience reminded me of the days when I managed large multi-day conferences. You could barely sleep, because either something you planned or didn’t plan for had to be prepared or dealt with in almost every moment. It was both exhilarating and exhausting.
As Principal, the day began with what seemed to be very regular, daily occurrences…a meeting with Vice Principal to discuss what the day had in store, a budget meeting (which, in and of itself was quite complex and shocking), a few committee meetings for up-coming events, a school walk through, and a few class visits. But then the “unexpected” occurred. Call after call to handle emergencies, issues in classrooms, a security matter, and an almost violent, angry parent. I can’t tell you how impressed I was with the intelligence, diligence, compassion, patience, and integrity of this principal. I thought to myself, “She is indeed a CEO in the world of education.” She was present in every matter that she could, especially those that required her presence, direction and communication.
When I think about the challenges the NFL is enduring and its Commissioner as its leader, I ponder how different the conversation would be if he actually “stood up.” In my experience with the school principal, and with so many other courageous leaders I’ve encountered and studied, one trait that I admire so much and which I feel is at the foundation of leadership is their ability to STAND UP in the face of any issue—good or bad. To address the almost violent screaming parent, even if what you have to say to that parent will not appease him or her. In this case, the NFL has many “screaming parents” waiting for the truth; waiting for a voice. In fact, the world is waiting for it.
In leadership you have to OWN IT, not run from it. Nothing in this world of ours—in our experiences as humans— is perfect. Everything is an opportunity to learn and grow. Perhaps these violence issues are coming into play for the NFL to have them pay real close attention to their values, to do what’s right, and to make those changes that are necessary. If we really want to lead we must STAND UP. I think about this all the time for myself, in wanting to be the very best leader that I can, and I am always finding ways to stand taller and to improve.
In looking at yourself as a leader, are you hiding at all? Are you running away from challenges or very serious issues? Where can you stand up or stand taller?
Some things can and should be delegated, but others should not. True leadership is one of them!
What do you think?
Thanks for reading!
It’s Your Life. Lead it Well.
Monique
5 Steps to Help Get that Monkey of Your Back
March 26, 2014
A wonderful conversation I had this week with a fellow coach inspired today’s post. I think we can all relate to these situations, whether we are the offenders or the victims.
Let’s start here …
Ever have a vision of that perfect workday — when you have your list of things to accomplish and it all goes off without a hitch? Hopefully, you have many of those days when you are in the flow and getting things done. But, one fine day you are thrown that “monkey” – that emergency or problem that belongs to someone else and is thrown on you to “fix now” (or the world will end)!
Been there, yes?
This can happen due to a lack of planning, strategy, understanding, or commitment of the other person. You may have someone in your organization who does often, causing you to tackle other people’s emergencies, which subtracts that precious time you need to actually do your own work and feel a sense of accomplishment.
If you are leading others, it may be wise for you to evaluate how you operate and identify if this is something that you tend to do. This habit is often unconscious and can be habitual. However, I’d suspect that if you don’t appreciate others throwing monkeys on your back, you probably don’t want to be doing it to others you are leading or working with. This behavior, if done consistently, can create a hostile or resentful work environment.
If you are on the receiving end, you may be having difficulty preventing this from happening. It’s important to be a team player, and sometimes we all have to take one for the team, even if it’s not our job. But, if you’re feeling like a zookeeper lately, it’s time to do something about those monkeys and speak up!
Here are 5 steps you can take to send those monkeys where they belong!
- Keep a daily list of your priorities – especially those that make or break the business. You were hired for a reason. Make sure you know how important your work is so that others know as well.
- Don’t add fuel to the fire! Usually, when the monkeys are thrown to you they come with anxiety and a sense of desperation. When working with individuals (especially those who lead us!), it’s easy to take on their anxiety and not see the forest among the trees. Breathe. Remain calm. Don’t mirror back the emotions you see and feel. Instead, create a space of serenity around the issue. You can help be the water that puts out the fire by bringing clarity and reality to the situation. Ask: Is this truly an emergency? Is it really needed NOW? Am I the right person to fix this? Why did this happen and how can we prevent it from happening again?
- Place that monkey in its cage! Create a holding space for the issue until that safe space has been created to understand what the real story is. In the heat of the moment, our tendency can be to drop everything and “handle this now!” But, what happens when this is a pattern? Instead of producing quality work and moving forward, we are simply handling “stuff” and moving nowhere.
- Have that difficult conversation. Now that you (a) know your priorities, (b) stayed calm, and (c) took time to understand the situation fully and its importance (or not), now it’s time to (d) muster up the courage to address the situation or pattern. Helping your supervisor, colleague or subordinate understand the value of your position and work. Additionally, if the behavior is a pattern, it’s uber important to help the other person (won’t happen overnight) understand that. They may not be receiving any feedback at all and feel it’s okay to throw their work onto others. Prepare a script to help you practice. A simple start to the conversation could go like this:
“Sally, I would love to help you solve this problem. I have these three priorities I’m tending to, and as you are aware, X is due today. I’m happy to dedicate some time to this at the end of the week, or speak to you further to help you figure out how best to solve it. Sound good?”
- Build a fence! It’s time to be proactive. Part of being a great team player and self-leader is being aware of issues or situations that can potentially become someone’s monkey, or your monkey! Understand what your team members and your supervisor(s) are/is working on that may boomerang toward you. If you’re not caught off guard you’ll be better prepared to manage through it. You also may be able to help others be proactive.
Have a monkey you’d like to share? I’d love to help you think it through.
Comment below.
It’s your life. Lead it well.
Monique
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall. Who am I?
November 3, 2010
Ever feel like others don’t really see who you are? Ever feel like you don’t know yourself either? How strongly would you agree with the belief that you must “know thyself” in order to lead others? Would you agree that we must lead ourselves really well in order to lead others?
This week I have the pleasure of coaching women executives at our Women on the Move program. It’s a pleasure because I am surrounded by powerful female energy; transformative, healing energy. At this retreat we retreat within. We learn to get to know ourselves deeply and understand how appreciating and sharing our authentic selves with all those around us helps us to launch a transformation like no other.
So as women, in particular, where do we begin? For me it begins with awareness and trust…of the self.
It’s no coincidence that we refer to earth as “Mother Earth,” because it is a natural trait of women to nurture, protect, put others first, and many times, say “yes,yes, yes” to anything that will create life, despite exhaustion. It is in our nature to give birth!! In fact, the Tao Te Ching refers to this special female energy of creation in such a beautiful way:
“The spirit that never dies is called the mysterious feminine. Although she becomes the whole universe, her immaculate purity is never lost. Although she assumes countless forms, her true identity remains intact. The gateway to the mysterious female is called the root of creation. Listen to her voice, hear it echo through creation. Without fail, she reveals her presence. Without fail, she reveals her presence. Without fail, she brings us to our own perfection. Although it is invisible, it endures; it will never end.”
Wow. That’s powerful!
If you are eager for a transformation; if you are eager to share with the world your true nature; if you are eager to lead and inspire others to reach their authenticity and greatness….begin with you!
Ask yourself:
-What is the spirit within me that never dies?
-What about me and only me is pure and never lost?
-What do I LOVE to create?
-What would my voice say if I didn’t care about what others would think and say about me?
-What about me can others count on without fail?
If you don’t know the answers to these questions, take time away from the rat race, from spinning your wheels and operating from a place far away from your authentic self. Pause to understand that things don’t have to remain the same; that we don’t have to operate on automatic or on auto-pilot. In fact, we can come to know the power of operating on purpose, driving forward from our authentic self.
Imagine what this small step would do for you; for your life. Imagine how you would inspire others to do the same merely by modeling this powerful behavior.
Look in that mirror today. Instead of asking “Who am I?”, take the time to get familiar with the you Mother Earth created; with the you others are craving to experience.
Namaste,
Monique
Which Bus Are You On?
July 21, 2010
For those of you who know me well and keep up with my posts, my next Relaxed Book Club selection will come as no surprise to you. For me, ENERGY is not a buzz word; it is life. I’ve come to learn that energy is not ethereal, but very tangible. It has everything to do with the level of personal and professional success we feel we achieve, as well as with the positive relationships and experiences that keep us motivated and IN LOVE with our lives.
I feel I am one of the lucky ones who has had the opportunity to practice, coach, and assess others on Energy Leadership–a unique system and assessment (and book!) developed by Bruce D. Schneider, Master Coach and Founder of iPEC Coaching. Essentially, when our “E-Factor” is healthy and rising, we lead our lives, not the other way around. (Yep! We can measure your Energy Factor! Cool, huh?)
Who’s driving your bus?
Are you on the LOVE bus, or the FEAR bus?
How are you leading your life?
I have not yet begun reading Energy Bus by Jon Gordon, but the reviews are stellar, and I’m really looking forward to starting on this journey, which comes just in time for my longest road trip to date. I’m ready for the ride…both of them! If you’d like to join me for this trip, pick up your copy and let’s get to more learning and teaching. I just can’t get enough of either!
Here’s some of what we have to look forward to:
“The Energy Bus takes readers on an enlightening and inspiring ride that reveals 10 secrets for approaching life and work with the kind of positive, forward thinking that leads to true accomplishment – at work and at home. Everyone faces challenges. And every person, organization, company and team will have to overcome negativity and adversity to define themselves and create their success.”
I invite you to read along with me. 🙂
Vroom Vroom,
Monique
My Relaxed Book Club will discuss selections from books I feel help high-achieving professionals continue to develop themselves and work on their personal leadership leading to more fulfilled, balanced and successful lives and careers.
This Is About Me– My Life!
May 17, 2010
My daughter taking a Strategic Pause
I chose this title for my final post about The Leader in Me, because this statement reflects what the students feel at these various schools where the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People have been implemented (all over the world, I might add!). Regardless of how they went about it, the feedback seems to be same. The students recognize and appreciate that these principles, courses and events are about helping them have amazing lives; about identifying how spectacular and unique they are, and about dreaming and achieving.
I’ve referred mostly to A.B. Combs Elementary, the first school to take on The Leader in Me. Their success was so profound that in 2006 they were named the number one magnet school in the U.S. Amazing. However, they are not the only school to achieve success. The second half of the book details how middle and high schools implement the principles differently than do elementary schools, but have also found significant success. Covey highly suggests that each school doit “Their Own Way.” The important part of implementation is not necessarily how it is done, but how the children and teachers feel. Here is a list of a few other schools highlighted in the book with a snapshot of how they infused the Habits:
- Singapore – Chua Chu Kang Primary School: Habits 1-3 are taught to the 10 year olds; Habits 4-7 are taught to 11 year olds, and all of the Habits are taught to the 12 year olds, who were preparing for their national exam.
- Chicago – Noble Street Charter School in Chicago: The 7 Habits are taught as part of the year-long freshman literature class. Students read the 7 Habits for Teens as well as a series of “personal journey” books that promote taking charge of one’s life and overcoming opposition.
- California – Mar Vista High School: The 7 Habits are taught as part of a stand-alone course called Crossroads. It entails a potpourri of life and career skills and uses the Habits as foundation for the course, which is taught to freshman. They also read the 7 Habits for Teens, and use the matching Student Activity Guide.
- Singapore – Clementi Town Secondary School: Created a program called HEY (Highly Effective Youth) to help first-year students transition from lower level to upper secondary level. They focus on one Habit per week and infuse the Habit into all coursework and via events.
- Guatemala – Across all High Schools: The Minister of Education wanted to address the “hopelessness” that most youth felt in the country. She wanted to teach the kids to dream of a better country and a better life. She created the Path of Dreams program to give youth the tools to learn how to dream again and help them create a Life Plan. Students also are required to develop action plans to help remedy a social problem (in teams), like AIDS, or child abuse.
One common thread across all schools listed in the book is that all teachers are taught the 7 Habits prior to implementation.
In beginning this journey my goal was not to set out to prepare my children to be CEOs, but to be able to lead their own lives; to give them timeless principles that can serve as road maps for them daily. As children, their issues may not seem as complex as ours, but certainly they seem BIG to them. Whether it is sharing a cherished toy (for my 5-year-old), or dealing with peer pressure (for my 11-year-old). I feel confident that 7 Habits will help them make the best choices for them in the moment. And, if they happen not to make the choice I would have liked for them to make, well, it will provide another opportunity for us all to reflect and learn.
The final chapter of the book guides parents, like me, to implement these principles at home. Covey recommends using The Power of Modeling, which includes these important components:
- Inspire Trust: The best way for your children to learn the Habits is to see you modeling them.
- Clarify Purpose: Be clear on what you want your children to learn/accomplish. What is your family’s mission? If you don’t have one, create one. Identify milestones.
- Align Systems: How will you get buy-in? How will you teach the principles (books, activities, etc.). How will your children be held accountable and rewarded?
- Unleash Talent: How will you nurture your children’s gifts. How will your children be involved in planning and goal setting? Will they be empowered or micro-managed?
Finally, Covey suggests incorporating a tradition that A.B. Combs created, called the “strategic pause.” He calls it “recompassing.” I loved this idea and will be teaching it to my children for sure!
It involves having students/your children pause for a few minutes, take a drink of water, stretch their bodies, look toward the light, and think of something hopeful. It is a way of re-energizing and refocusing them.
In closing, I will share a beautiful quote found in the book by Helen Keller, whose own challenges led her to be a mentor to many children:
Have you ever been at sea in a dense fog, when it seemed as if a tangible white darkness shut you in, and the great ship, tense and anxious, groped her way toward the shore…and you waited with beating heart for something to happen? I was like that ship before my education began, only I was without a compass…and had no way of knowing how near the harbour was. ‘Light! give me light!’ was the wordless cry of my soul, and the light of love shone on me in that very hour. – Helen Keller
May all of our children be shown the way, with love, light, and leadership.
Have a great week!
Monique
My Relaxed Book Club will discuss selections from books I feel help high-achieving professionals continue to develop themselves and work on their personal leadership leading to more fulfilled, balanced and successful lives and careers.
Illumined Life Leadership 