Art & Soul Healing, by Ellie Kane
August 6, 2014
SUMMER OF WELL-BEING WEEK 10
Welcome to Week 10 of Summer of Well-Being! Today our focus is on Art for your Soul, brought to you by none other than my mother, Ellie Kane! Ellie is an artist, healer, and certified coach. I know you’ll love her as much as I do and find incredible value in what she has to share. Read her blog below and leave a comment with your thoughts!
Art and Soul Healing
“Creativity is a way to break through the conscious mind that is holding on very tightly. There’s only so much you can talk your way through. Art really does reach something in a very primal, unconscious level.” Martha Grant
Since the beginning of time, art’s most essential role has been to nurture the divine aspects of life; and for many ancient cultures, art is still practiced as a curative tool and as a form of awakening. Externalizing our perceptions and conflicts-even if we simply create a primitive and uncomplicated sketch-is highly beneficial for self-renewal and healing.
Art, when used as an instrument for wellness, can become a guide to finding presence, authenticity, and the place within where body, mind and soul have the potential to be made new and whole.
“In recent years, there is a growing movement to redefine the mission of art, transforming it from its position in Western culture as a commodity to a sacred and communal activity. This way of thinking has emerged simultaneously in the art world, psychotherapy and medicine. Many artists, therapists and others are seeking ways to use the collective wisdom of art and imagination, envisioning ways that it can become a healing practice…” C. A. Malchiodi
The healing power of art cannot be denied. Art can bring about the gift of inspiration, harmony, playfulness and transformation. When we create healing art, a restorative process is initiated for the ‘artist’, as well as for the viewer and/or recipient.
Frank Emmettsaid that, “Art has been known as a pathway to the soul…it unlocks feelings, those deep-seated things that we are reluctant to express even to ourselves sometimes, in a manner that is safe.”
Art propels us to bring to light those moments and challenges which are too difficult to talk about. We may be stressed, and be scratched and bruised internally; and at times we keep these wounds hidden…our little secrets. Allowing these feelings to surface would lift a massive spiritual burden. The world of imagery is limitless when searching for ways to communicate mixed and sensitive emotions; and expressing in creative ways begets well-being. Through the use of artful methods and interpretations, the road to healing is inescapable.
I have created a technique which has proven effective in mending the connection between our physical, intellectual and non-material selves. I call it the Art and Soul Work-Energy Healing through Art program, and here are some familiar forms of art, taken from this workshop, which serve us as therapeutic channels:
- Visual Designs – Compositions or Imagery
- Sketching, painting, sculpture, photography
- Lyrical Vibrancy – Movement
- Dance, yoga, wu-tao
- Written Word – Inner Voice
- Poetry, journaling, essays
- Unity – Essence
- Nature, breath, meditation, visualization, Mandalas
I am convinced that there is a little bit of an ‘artist’ in each of us. And I believe that we do not have to consider ourselves artistic in order to use vision and imagination when seeking a path to health. So, in keeping with the Art and Soul Work, I would like to offer a couple of tips which may help you get started on your way to healing. Keep in mind there is no right/no wrong way to go about this exercise. It is very personal and in time you will find your own comfort pattern.
- Use visualization – close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Become aware of your physical and/or emotional condition (that which must be restored). Then imagine what this feeling would look like. If you do not see an image, then just give it a color, a shape or a word. Observe but stay detached; do not judge what you perceive. Breathe, open your eyes;
- Journal – choose your favorite notebook (one you will keep for creating and healing). Draw the image (if there was one through visualizing) or the colors and shapes you sensed, and use them on your notebook. Journal about this sketch – you have just expressed an emotion or struggle you needed to bring outward. Be present with it, acknowledge and release it.
This two-step process is simple, yet very powerful, and will transmit awareness, relief and a freeing response. Get some art supplies, those which call to you most, a journal and some neat pens/pencils…and unearth the concealed treasure in you.
Remember that practicing art, in any format or modality, can be a way of entering into a meditative and reflective state, as much as it is an avenue to expression. It releases fears and may trigger a new outlook and direction of habits and behaviors. Additionally, as we enter this unique and original concept, and discover our innate and holistic medicine, we will:
- Get to know ourselves under a different, truer light
- Learn to pacify and soften emotional hurt and grief
- Naturally access intuitive healing methods, and
- Enter an unimaginable journey to wholeness
May you find your secret self through art and soul healing…
Ellie
A Personal Note:
Art has always been a part of my life, even in those instances long ago when I did not know I was artistic and creative. I believe I was born to use all of my senses in whatever I choose to do. Art allows me to experience touch, vision, sound and even smell through my paintings. And dance encircles me inside a bubble of movement and delight.
Yes, I paint and dance because they are my passions, but I also discovered that these two personal approaches have at times healed me physically, emotionally and at the level of my soul.
I am so very grateful to Monique Catoggio and Summer of Well-Being for giving me the opportunity to share my insights with you…and these two paintings which had such immense healing force at two very painful events in my life…when I lost my parents. Thank You.
Ramona, 2003
Don Mario, 2005
I’m particularly excited about our Summer of Well-Being guest blogger this week, because she happens to be my Mom! That’s right, folks, the apple does not fall far from the tree! Ellie Kane is an artist, healer, and certified coach. I cannot express how powerful her teachings, healing and love have supported me along my journey, and I know you’ll appreciate what she has to share! Providing her this forum is one of the simple ways that I can say, “Thanks, Mom” for being such an important part of my life, and for helping so many others!! You are AWESOME! Make sure to check out Ellie’s blog on Thursday to learn how you can heal with Art!
What does living “well” at work mean to you? If you are like most Americans, you’re spending the majority of your waking hours either working, or thinking about your work! Work can be both a blessing and an energy vampire, depending upon how you “work” it.
Are you “working” work, or is work “working” you?
Because we are at work so much, it can’t NOT affect our well-being, right? But, does it affect us negatively, or positively? Although there are many things outside of our control when at work, like the behaviors and actions of others, tasks we are mandated to do, or whether we have access to clean air or natural lighting, we do have the power to make REALLY GREAT choices for ourselves, helping to make work THE VERY BEST place to make significant strides toward our wellness.
If you’re a fan of the Pareto Principle, you’ll understand the power behind this strategy. The principle states that 80% of the output is achieved with 20% of the input. Since we spend approximately 80% of our waking hours engaged in work (give or take), why not use 20% of our work day to achieve 80% of our well-being goals? You with me?
Let’s seek out a few holistic strategies to begin doing this! Here are 5 ideas you can try:
1. Seek the Truth.
Much of our stress at work can stem from focusing on what “may be true” vs. “what is true.” A simple example could be having a quick conversation with your immediate supervisor and assuming that he is not pleased with the news you are sharing with him because his arms are crossed and his brows are furrowed. Assumptions like this one can nag at us mentally and emotionally all day long, sucking away our creative, healthy energy. Why not just ask him, “I am sensing that you are not happy in this moment. Does this have to do with my work, or with the information I’m sharing with you?” Many times, individuals don’t even realize the signals they are giving. Knowing this can also provide them with a moment of awareness that can benefit them tremendously. What at work might you be assuming that is sucking up your energy?
2. Seek Feedback.
Humans are emotional beings, and our emotions directly affect what we choose to believe about ourselves, and the actions we take to get to where we want to go. As emotional beings, we want to know how we are doing, that we are on the right track, and that we are appreciated and doing a great job. Even if you are the leader within your organization, you need this too! Take time to ask others how you are doing. Get the validation that you need and deserve, and don’t judge any constructive criticism that can help you continue to develop and grow as a professional/leader. Knowing how we are doing and that we are appreciated can make our days at work so much more enjoyable and can even ignite our inner fire to achieve greater results at work. Who’s feedback are you desiring?
3. Seek our Authenticity.
An important component to our wellness is loving and sharing who we are naturally and at our best. In many work environments we feel as though we cannot show ourselves in order to move up the ladder, or sometimes, just keep our jobs! Over time this can cause sadness, de-motivation, and an overall disconnect with the individuals we work with, and ultimately, with our purpose and ability to grow in our career. We can seek our authenticity in comfortable steps by sharing our ideas, speaking up when we normally would not, and developing a more personal relationship with a co-worker. According to Gallup, having at least one good friend at work can dramatically improve our well-being and our engagement at work. How can YOU better show up at work?
4. Seek Nature.
If you happen to be cooped up all day long in a “concrete jungle,” do yourself a favor and get up and outside at least once per day for a minimum of 15 minutes, but if you can do more, do it! You can accomplish so much within one hour that can positively affect your well-being, like breathing in some fresh air, getting your daily dose of Vitamin D by sitting in the sun, walking and getting your metabolism going, sitting under a tree and doing something for yourself, etc. Even 15 minutes of disconnecting from work and connecting with nature can reinvigorate you. You can even connect with nature by eating a nice salad (or drinking your salad!) during this nature break. What aspect of nature is screaming for your attention during work hours?
5. Seek Silence.
What? Yes, that’s right. Whether you’re in meetings all day, or chatting around the water-cooler (not a great use of your time), creating time for YOU to brainstorm, move your ideas or work forward in a focused way, or take 5-10 minutes to breathe or stretch at your desk, you will be doing your mind, body and soul some good! It may be harder for some of us to accomplish these quiet, focused tasks at home, especially if we have to cook, do homework, clean, organize for the next day, etc. So why not find the time to work on your activities during your work hours? How can 10 minutes of silence during work skyrocket your productivity or decrease your stress?
The ideas I’ve shared above relate to some key dimensions of well-being, including Thinking, Feeling, Breathing, Communicating, Sensing, Eating, Moving, and Self-Responsibility. The cool thing is that when you work on just one dimension, you truly are working on all of them! They are fully integrated and cannot function without each other.
Even though these ideas are quite simple, they are not always easy! Try just one and see how it may help shift how you approach work and wellness, and how other areas of your well-being may be affected as well.
Don’t let work “work” you! Be intentional about how you approach your work hours and take advantage of that time to feel great!
It’s Your Life. Lead it Well.
Monique
Bringing Your Well-Being Full Circle, by Ivette Agusti
July 31, 2014
SUMMER OF WELL-BEING WEEK 9
Are you looking to find some inner insight on your well-being? Have you ever stopped to think that maybe there is more to life than the physical? Sure, staying fit is wonderful and all, but do you ever think about the nitty-gritty of things, through soul searching, or even trying to find that balance in life to make you feel “whole”? Holistic practices have been used for hundreds of years. A holistic practice not only focuses on the body, but the entire body-mind-soul connection to help achieve a greater satisfaction of oneself. Wholeness is just right around the corner, folks.
Bringing Your Well-Being Full Circle
How we can heal our lives through holistic practices.
Holism means that we are all connected somehow to the world and everything around us. We humans spend so much time bettering ourselves via money and indulges that we forget to thank ourselves in personal and natural ways. We need to allow ourselves to access peace and harmony to better help our spirit remain in the state of bliss and tranquility that we deserve. We can do this through holistic practices.
Caring for the mind and soul are equally as important as taking care of the body. The metaphysical components of wellness should be taken into account and not be set aside. We can all benefit from getting that ol’ yoga mat out more often instead of waiting for that rainy day Yoga, one of the more practiced types of holism, not only helps to stretch the muscles, it decreases stress, eases depression, and even helps keep blood pressure in check.
Meditation is also a spiritual awakening practice that can put us in a relaxed state of mind. When meditating, we clear our minds and focus solely on slow, balanced breathing. For a beginner, it may take a few meditations before he/she can fully relax and forget those pesky daily woes that trouble us all. Meditating, even if for 5 minutes, can benefit us in the long run. So, the next time you find yourself thinking there aren’t enough hours in the day, believe that there are, take a seat, relax, and ‘om’ your way to a better, happier you.
These are merely two well-known types of holistic practices. There are many other ones that you can easily try at home, or at a studio with a teacher or professional. And, they can also support any illness you may be working through. Sometimes, medication is not enough. Holistic exercises and rituals can help heal your soul and awaken you to your true self and true needs.
The forces of our minds and our transcendental connection to the universe can make miracles! I believe holism can help anyone, if they’re willing to open themselves up to the universe—mind-body-and-soul.
I created I AM Equilibrium because holism has been in my life as long as I can remember! My grandmother taught me to always to look at the root of a situation or illness for the blockage or obstacle, and try to find the “why.” The surface of anything tells a different story than its root. Looking for the answers within helps you evolve spiritually.
My tip for you is to try and do the same. This week, when you feel stress or pain, instead of masking it with pain killers, cocktails, or other quick fixes, take a few minutes to breathe deeply and ask yourself questions that can help you find the root—the spiritual cause of the stress or pain.
And, I invite you to consider expanding your well-being horizon and trying out a new and unique holistic method. Regardless of the method or practice you try, be patient and be in the moment with it, releasing any judgment for the activity and for yourself.
The art of allowing is never easy! When I began my holistic journey I decided to take it slow. I realized that to develop the habit I needed to take baby steps. First, I set a time, even if I wasn’t going to do yoga or meditate, I’d have the alarm sound ‘meditation time’ and I would be ready with some affirmations or thoughts that I wanted to manifest as detailed as possible. For one week, it was just that! The following week I wanted more, so I would actually sit up and meditate for 5 minutes and put on some yoga clothes, never pressuring myself to do more. These small baby steps helped me incorporate these and other practices into my life, all while running two companies! I also realized that how I thought about my time was critical. Did I feel I had no time at all, or all the time in the world? Believe you have the time and you will find it.
I wish you much success on your well-being journey, and a lifetime of mind-body-soul practices that bring you into the wholeness you deserve.
Thank you!
5-Minute Miracle: An Invitation.
July 28, 2014
I looked a hundred times and all I saw was dust.
The sun broke through and flecks of gold filled the air.
This has been a tough week for me; perhaps for you as well. You can’t turn on the TV or radio, check-in with Facebook or Twitter, or read the paper without learning about yet another tragedy occurring in our world. In fact, with the instantaneous updates our world operates on, you don’t have to look for it, it simply pops up and let’s you know, “Look what’s on CNN now!”
My heart aches.
Even though some of these incidents seem so far away, they are, indeed, very close to us all… it may be a young student murdered from our community, a man on the downed plane went to a local high school, or a friend who travels frequently to a troubled part of the world. We are connected through degrees of separation.
Maybe you’ve read the research as I have, or perhaps you just feel it in your bones. Here’s the TRUTH…we are all connected. When someone hurts a world away, we all hurt–seen or unseen; felt or not.
It’s very easy to not see or feel. For me, it becomes routine to acknowledge the disaster, feel it in my whole body, cry, perhaps, and then I tuck it away quickly and move on with my life. I wish there was more that I could do. I wish I could fly over the scene and scoop up the hurt bodies and souls and fly them away to safety.
A part of our path to well-being is understanding this energetic connection that we have with others and with the world at large. Connecting with other people and places in meaningful ways can significantly spike our wellness. But, what do we do; what can we do when we don’t have any control, are affected by the sadness, and don’t necessarily want to ignore it and keep living as usual?
I certainly don’t have all the answers, and I imagine there are many small ways that we can reach out to those who are affected by these horrific disasters. Almost daily I see many examples of people making a huge difference through small actions…writing letters, making care packages, donating money to relief funds, etc. My heart is compelled to also do something very small. In fact it will only take you 5 minutes. But, because I know the power that doing things in numbers can provide, especially in the world of energy, I invite you–all of you–to join me in this exercise. And, truly hope you will invite others so we can create a massive movement in just five minutes.
More on the 5-Minute Miracle in just a few moments…
The inspiration for this came to me as I was reading one of my older blogs. This one was about self-love, but also about how our prayers, goodwill, and positive words heal us humans—as well as the universe as a whole—through water. Specifically, the book documented amazing research about the changes to water crystals (whether you are with the water, or whether you are sending thoughts to far-off bodies of water!) when you speak to them, pray to them, or send them good and/or bad thoughts. The results were hair raising.
Watch this short video to get the summarized version!
Emoto shares in his book,
…”vibrations will be sent out into the world and the cosmos, and the great symphony of that harmonic vibration will wrap our planet in waves of love that serve to cherish our Heaven-granted lives. This is the message from the water.”
So, this week, for our Summer of Well-Being, I hope that you will join me to intend for a 5-Minute Miracle… a brief exercise that not only will serve to benefit you through quiet, compassionate mindfulness, but also will serve to heal the world.
Mark Your Calendar NOW! On Friday of this week, August 1st, at 8:45 am, I am asking you to join me in 5 minutes of prayer, intention, healing light… whatever speaks to you…for the healing of our world and for peace.
Will you join me? I’d love for you to commit and comment below by typing “YES!”
Please share and let’s expand these circle of healing and peace. I want to see LOTS OF YES’S BELOW!!
To close today’s blog, in preparation for the 5-Minute Miracle on Friday, I’d love to share portions of a beautiful prayer for our world, created by Marianne Williamson from her book, Illuminata. Feel free to use this one on Friday:
Dear God,
There is so much danger in the world today. There is so much insanity, so much darkness and fear. Our human resources are not enough…please send a miracle! Into every country and every home, into every mind and every heart, may the power of your spirit now trigger the light, activate our holiness, remind us of the truth within. May a great love now encompass us, a deep peace give us solace. May the world be reborn. Thank you. Amen.
If you prefer a powerful visualization/intentions, Marianne shares this one in her book, Everyday Grace:
See luminous energy emerging from your heart, extending outward to touch all things. Cast the light over warring nations. Cast it over the entire planet. Cast it over the people you love. Cast it over the people you judge. Feel now a bolt of energy coming over you as you extend this light. Avoid the temptation to invalidate this image. It’s not an idle fantasy, for the light is real.
Thank you, and Namaste,
Monique
Healthy Recipes Revamped, by Leoncio Alvarez
July 24, 2014
SUMMER OF WELL-BEING WEEK 8
Welcome to Week 8 of Summer of Well-Being! This week our emphasis is on the well-being dimension of eating, and making sure we eat healthier. As we get older we tend to start eating better. Slowly, the days of quick Pop Tart breakfasts and Ramen dinners disappear and are replaced by early morning green smoothies and late-night buckwheat Soba noodles.
Today, in honor of the Summer of Well-Being, we have Leoncio Alvarez from Munch This! who has revamped three of his recipes to make them more health-conscious. Try them out and let us know how they work for you!
Vegetable Spring Rolls
Fried empanadas are swapped out for baked vegetable spring rolls that you can make with whatever veggies on hand. I had some sweet potatoes and corn and added some black beans. If you have zucchini, or carrots that would work. Just because a recipe says you have to use something doesn’t mean you have to. You’re in charge of your kitchen!
Ingredients:
- 15 spring roll wrappers (can be found at your nearest Oriental market)
- ½ yellow onion (peeled, diced, finely chopped)
- 2-3 cloves of garlic (minced, chopped)
- 2 sweet potatoes (peeled, diced, chopped)
- 1 can of whole kernel corn (drained)
- 1 teaspoon curry powder
- 1 teaspoon turmeric
- 1 teaspoon of coriander powder
- Salt and pepper
- 1 egg
- ½ Tablespoon olive oil
Step 1. Heat olive oil in a large pot over medium heat. Add onion, garlic and sweet potato and cook for 12-15 minutes or until sweet potato is soft but not mashed. Reduce heat if needed.
Step 2. After cooking veggies for 5 minutes add curry powder, turmeric and coriander powder.
Step 3. After 10 minutes add corn and black beans and combine. Season to taste with salt and pepper.
Step 4. Crack egg into a small bowl and add a 1 Tablespoon of water. Whisk and set aside.
Step 5. Heat oven to 375 degrees. Place 1 spring roll wrapper on a cutting board. Add 1 Tablespoon of veggie mixture to top edge. Create spring rolls using this video as guidance. Repeat with remaining spring roll wrappers. Any leftover vegetables could be stored and used as a side for another meal.
Step 6. Place prepared spring rolls on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Bake for 20-25 minutes or until crispy.
Chicken Meatballs
Cuban-style ground beef can get tiring in Miami. Chicken meatballs are 98 percent fat free and taste just as great. The addition of steel-cut oats adds fiber and makes these meatballs plump up in the oven. When buying oats make sure you get steel-cut compared to rolled oats. Steel-cut should have no added sugar and are less in calories. Serve meatballs with a drizzle of soy and honey.
Ingredients:
- 1 pound of ground chicken
- 1 cup steel-cut oats
- 1 small onion (peeled, finely chopped)
- ½ red pepper (finely chopped)
- 2-3 cloves of garlic (minced, chopped)
- 1 egg
- 3-4 Tablespoons of nonfat milk
- 2 Tablespoons of chopped basil
- 2 Tablespoons of chopped sage
- 3 Tablespoons of tomato paste
- ½ teaspoon of kosher salt
- ¼ teaspoon of ground black pepper
Step 1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Add all ingredients in order in a large bowl and combine.
Step 2. Use an ice cream scooper to make meatballs and place on baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Bake for 25-35 minutes or until meatballs are no longer pink in the center. You can test by taking a meatball and cutting through it with a knife to see how it is in the center.
Try these out with ground turkey too! You can serve with your favorite sauce.
Brown Rice Coconut Pudding
Grandma’s rice pudding is decadently creamy, but that doesn’t mean we can’t add some healthy ingredients to make it even better. Coconut palm sugar is being recognized more and more as a substitute for white sugar. The effects of carbohydrates on your blood sugar are measured by the glycemic index. Regular table sugar ranks between 60 and 75, while coconut palm sugar is just 35 on the glycemic index. Your blood sugar level could spike depending on how high the glycemic index is for the food you’re intaking.
This pudding is not as sweet as grandma’s, but cranberries and toasted coconut and pumpkin seeds add a delightful sweet-and-salty crunch.
Ingredients:
- 1 ½ teaspoons of ground cinnamon
- 1 teaspoon of ground ginger
- ¼ cup of coconut palm sugar
- 1 13 ½ oz can of lite coconut milk
- 2 cups of almond milk or skim milk
- 1 ½ teaspoons of pure vanilla extract
- ¼ cup of toasted coconut
- ¼ cup of toasted pumpkin seeds
- 2 teaspoons of lemon zest
- ¼ cup of cranberries
Step 1. In a large pot over medium heat add lite coconut milk, 1 cup of almond or skim milk and brown rice. Heat until boiling. Bring down heat and stir every two minutes to make sure rice never sticks to the bottom.
Step 2. Add cinnamon, ginger, coconut palm sugar and vanilla. Keep stirring every two minutes for about an hour.
Step 3. Add remaining milk, lemon zest and cranberries and continue stirring rice. Cook for another hour never forgetting to stir, until rice is soft and pudding is creamy. If rice pudding gets too thick, add a few spoonfuls of milk. Top with toasted coconuts and pumpkin seeds Enjoy!
Try out these and more recipes from Munch This!
2 Easy Steps to Help Nail Your Goal!
July 21, 2014
![golfer-hitting-ball[2]](http://lwlblog.fiu.edu/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/golfer-hitting-ball2.jpg)
Wow! Is it already Week 8 of Summer of Well-Being? I am so grateful to our guest bloggers for their wonderful content, and I hope each of you is taking advantage of their knowledge and suggestions, and trying a few on for size. I’m excited about our guest this week, Leoncio Alvarez, from MUNCH This!, who will take some delicious recipes and show us how to make them healthier! Super cool, yes? Make sure to join us on Thursday for his blog.
If you need to catch up on all Summer of Well-Being blogs, you’ll find them here.
This past weekend I decided to tackle a wellness goal that I have been wanting to try for quite some time, but never made the time for it. When I noticed that Summer of Well-Being guest blogger, Mary Trontz, was offering a 3-day cleanse, I knew this was the time. There are many ways to cleanse and different systems offered. I chose the 3-Day Refresh by Shakeology, because it does most of the work for me with little prep or hassle. Because my hubby also is participating in the Summer of Well-Being, we decided to do this challenge together, and today is our last day! Today, day 3, I’m really feeling the positive effects, and I can’t wait to see the full results tomorrow!
So, what have I noticed?
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I’ve been more tired than usual. My body is definitely detoxing and saying, “Whoa, woman! What are you doing?” We decided start over the weekend to allow ourselves time to rest. That’s been helpful!
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Staying hydrated is necessary for energy, and also to help us feel more full. In this case, I’m following guest blogger, Davis Mitchell’s advice of drinking a minimum of half my body weight in ounces.
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Some headaches, which I feel may be due to detoxing and releasing my coffee habit.
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And, some moments of bloating and nausea.
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Mostly, the first two days I noticed how easy it would be to give up after day 1! It has taken a lot of will power and positive self talk to keep me going, especially when I’m cooking normal meals for my kiddos! But, tackling this with a buddy definitely helps!
So, how do you stick with a goal when the going gets tough?
Although I’m proud that I have almost reached my goal and have managed to stay focused and on point, I really enjoy learning from others what helps them to reach their goals, especially when the going gets tough.
This weekend I spent some time watching the British Open. Both my step-father and son are avid golfers, and so my liking to golf has grown over the years. It was very exciting to witness 25-year-old, Rory McIlroy win the Open (again), and three out of the four major crowns in golf. When asked what he told himself to keep his mind positive and focused on the goal, he said that he repeatedly told himself two words over and over…PROCESS and SPOT.
PROCESS. SPOT.
Easy and effective, and that’s why I felt compelled to share it with you today.
He tells himself that golf, and winning a tournament, is a process. It’s not the outcome of one hole, or in my case, one day of cleansing; it’s in sticking with the plan and getting through. At every hole, he would say to himself, “spot” as a reminder that his only role in that very moment (moment-to-moment) was to focus on the next spot; where he needed to place the ball. For me, during my cleanse, my spot was the next hour. What do I need to do to be prepared for the next hour? Taking it moment by moment–spotting– was really helpful.
If you haven’t yet found a way to get through your well-being goals, or any goals for that matter, maybe this easy tip from a young, extraordinary athlete can help you get there. Also, to develop your athlete’s mind, make sure to catch guest blogger, Mike Rosenfeld’s vlog, if you haven’t already!
Our well-being is most definitely a process; a life-long one. I hope that the process for you has been a positive and joyful one! And, remember, if you’re not feeling challenged, you may need to step up your effort a bit. I know you can do it!
Have a magnificent week!
Namaste,
Monique
Why you should stop doing THIS today! by Mina Shah
July 16, 2014
SUMMER OF WELL-BEING WEEK 7
I’m particularly excited about our guest blogger today, because she addresses a subject I speak about, train about, and is at the foundation of my personal beliefs, which is taking responsibility of our energy. Below, Mina offers us a simple, yet very powerful practice for giving us back so much of the energy that is ours to direct toward productive and joyful tasks. I hope you accept her challenge!!
Mina refers to her Mastermind program, of which I am a member. I just love surrounding myself with like-minded women who want to create meaningful and powerful lives for themselves and for others. I was not able to take on her challenge during the Mastermind, due to my vacation, but I will take the challenge now! Please join us both in doing so!
Need to catch up on Summer of Well-Being posts? You’ll find them all here.
Here’s Mina!
Ahhhhh Summer……….
When I hear the word summer I am reminded of clear skies, images of kids laying in the grass looking up at the sky, and the freedom of 3 months without school to do whatever my heart desires. At least as long as my parents agreed.
It would be safe to say that for most of us as children summer brought the feeling of being carefree and fun. Today for most adults, it doesn’t feel that way. The year-round responsibilities are still there and they have to be handled. Just because the kids have 3 months off doesn’t mean that you do, and if you don’t have children, the year-round responsibilities are still there in the summer.
So how does one experience the feeling of being carefree and having fun with all these responsibilities? How does one have a Summer of Well-Being?
If you look at the definition of Well-Being it is the state of being happy, healthy, or successful.
Happy.
Healthy.
Successful.
As a coach I have helped my clients experience happiness, health, and success. I’ve helped them do everything from lose the 35lbs they have been carrying for over 20 years to helping them hire an entirely new rock star staff and making their business more profitable. Having worked with thousands of people over the last 6 years creating happiness, health and success in their lives, there are quite a few things I could share with you today that would help you have a Summer of Well-Being.
However, I have a strong belief that less is more, so today I am going to share with you 1 Simple Thing you can do now to experience more happiness, health, and success in your life.
One thing that you may be doing without realizing. One thing that is affecting your life in a bigger way than you can possible imagine.
What is that, you ask?
It’s simple.
Stop Complaining.
What?
Yes, Stop Complaining.
Now, I don’t know you and I don’t know if you are someone who complains a little, a lot, or if you are just someone who is surrounded by complainers.
If you complain a little you will want to read further.
If you complain a lot. As in, you could land the gold in the Complaining Olympics – you definitely want to read further. You may even want to read this twice.
And if you rarely complain but are surrounded by complainers, read on and then find the share button on this page to send this over to the complainers you know with a smile and a wink. They deserve a Summer of Well-Being, right?
Now Why Stop Complaining?
Let’s go back to being a kid during the summer. Imagine you are with your best friend. You both have been playing outside and now you are laying in the grass, looking up at the sky, the breeze blowing, and you are trying to make shapes out of the clouds when all of a sudden you hear:
“The grass isn’t comfortable!”
“I think I wore the wrong shoes! These are too tight and they are hurting my feet!”
“Why is the sky so blue? It’s almost too bright!”
“Move over you are too close to me!”
Huh???
Immediately the blissful picture you have in your mind is gone. This is what happens when we complain, we prevent ourselves from enjoying all the awesomeness that is around us.
Go to any network or social gathering and you will find that complaining has become the #1 way to communicate. It can be as innocent as complaining about the weather, the traffic, the city you live in to all the way to complaining about your job, business, co-workers, spouse or a past relationship. The challenge is that this robs you from the very happiness, health, and success that you desire. Is this true? Is complaining actually that damaging? Absolutely.
Here are 3 Things that Happen when you complain.
1) You give an inordinate amount of energy to the problem. The very thing you don’t want more of you are giving your energy to. Do you ever feel happy when you are complaining? Highly doubtful. Complaining is usually accompanied by the emotions of stress, frustration, and aggravation. You are giving your emotional energy to something you don’t want.
2) You burn your time. Ever been cut off in traffic or have a client or vendor wrong you and then tell the story of what happened to 15 people over the next 24 hours? What could you have been doing with that time? Complaining burns your precious time and kills productivity. Part of being successful is spending your time wisely. Where could the time spent complaining go?
3) You lower the energy of those around you. You know those people in your life that you LOVE to be around? That light up your day? When you see their number on your phone you pick it up no matter what you are doing? Do they complain very much? Not likely. People who lift us up are using their energy on things that are positive and uplifting, not replaying a recent horrible incident for anyone within ear shot. By complaining you become one of those people who lower others’ energy and you lower your own. Not exactly healthy.
So what happens when you Stop Complaining? What’s the upside?
I’ll share with you a real life example. Recently at a Mastermind group I lead we had 40 women from 2 groups participate in a 3 day no complaining challenge. The entire group started on a Monday and committed to not complaining for 3 days.
For some the challenge seemed daunting, and for others they thought it would be no big deal as they didn’t feel like they complained that much. As part of the challenge they would post in our private Facebook group about their experience.
The feedback poured in.
“I think I complain more than I thought because my boyfriend was really excited when I told him I was doing a no complaining challenge!”
“I thought I never complained and after only 30 minutes of being at work I realized I had called the AC guy and been complaining the entire time on the phone!”
“I thought I was the negative one in my house and my husband was the positive one, but after not complaining for 3 days I realized he complains just as much as I do if not more!”
When the women came back at the end of the month each one had the opportunity to share what happened as a result of not complaining.
Across the board the biggest distinction was:
“When I couldn’t complain it caused me to think about what was actually bothering me and I realized the things that I have been complaining about, I complain about all the time, but I haven’t been doing anything about it!
and
I realized that I was using complaining as a way of avoiding dealing with the issue. When I couldn’t complain anymore I actually did something about it!”
I actually did something about it.
They say that for something new to come into your life, you must make space for it. A question I posed to the group in our Mastermind was, “When you are not complaining, what will you find yourself talking about instead?” By eliminating complaining these women now had the energy to solve their problems and focus on moving their life forward!
Here are the top 3 things these women experienced and the 3 Great Things that Happen when you Stop Complaining!
1) You recognize what the actual “problem” is. Often complaining is usually a way to avoid actually dealing with a specific problem. Most of the time people complain about the same 3 things. This could a number of things: work, their body, the diet they are on, the government, a family member, or that they “don’t have enough time”. By eliminating complaining you have the opportunity to be with the situation and see what you would like to do about it. You allow the space for a solution to come to the surface. So let’s take a look in your own life. What would you say are the top 3 things that you complain about?
2) You experience less stress and less tension in your body. Imagine if you were watching a 3 minute commercial where the entire time it showed the person complaining. At the end of it how would you feel? Probably tense, annoyed, and wanting to get away from it. When you complain, although you are not as annoyed as if you were watching someone else, you still experience the effects in your body. If you catch yourself complaining take a moment to check in. First, stop talking (just cut yourself off) and check in with your body. Are your shoulders scrunched up around your ears? Is your body tense? Is your face all contorted? Have you stopped breathing? If so relax your body. Your shoulders, arms, face, jaw… and then count back from 10. 10……..9……..8……..7……..6……..5……..4……..3……..2……..1……..
Then ask yourself the question: “What’s really important?” When you have the answer ask yourself. “How can I focus on that right now?”
3) You connect more deeply with those around you. This means, when people walk away from a conversation with you they feel neutral or great. Not drained. I shared with the women in the groups that eliminating complaining is one of the quickest ways to create a closer connection with your spouse. It’s important for women to know that because of the ingrained need that men have to make their woman happy and to fix things, when you complain to your man it makes him want to stab himself – in the eye – with a shrimp fork!
Seriously. If you are in a serious relationship there is nothing your man wants more than for you to be happy. If there is a problem he wants to “fix it” for you. When you are complaining there really is nothing to fix because it’s simply venting and clearly you are not happy. The man in your life feels helpless to help you and few things are more frustrating for a man. Please note, I am not saying you cannot express your day or concerns to your man. I am talking about the ongoing, non-stop complaining that is exhausting for both parties. When you stop complaining you get to have a more pleasurable experience with the people closest to you and create a greater connection. Most people have a person they dump all their problems on. What if you stopped dumping on that person? How would that change your relationship with them?
So I invite you!!!
I invite you to experience a Summer of Well-Being by starting off with a 3 Day No Complaining Challenge on Monday!
Call a few of your friends and decide to do it together. When you start to do this you will experience less stress, more connection, and solutions to what you were complaining about will finally have a chance to pop into your head.
I would love to know if you decide to do it and how it goes! Comment below and if you have any questions about how reduce complaining post them below. I am happy to answer them!
Wishing you a wonderful summer. One of sunshine, well-being, and no complaining!
Mina
Unconditional Love, Forgiveness, & Puppy Breath!
July 14, 2014
Meet Ocean, our brand new Labradane puppy, whose been in our lives for only two weeks. I wrote about her in my blog last week, and I want to write about her again today, because having her join our family has brought up so many great memories, as well as both joyous and challenging moments. Keeping up with my well-being habits has not been easy these last few weeks, and as a good student of my own teachings, I decided I had to broaden the way I not only looked at our new situation, but also how I could transcend it, bit-by-bit.
In thinking of transcending the challenges, I immediately am taken back to a time in my life when my grandmother, Amelia “Mami”, moved in to our childhood home, together with my sister and her family, as well as with my grandfather, Mario “Papi”. My sister had a Yorkshire Terrier named “Rambo”. Rambo was a very loving dog, despite his hyper tendencies. He loved to cuddle and be spoiled. My grandmother hated the idea of living with a dog in the house and complained to no end about it. But, she had no choice in the matter. Rambo wasn’t going anywhere.
Because my grandmother didn’t work, she stayed home all day. Her role was a very traditional, maternal one. Cook, clean, babysit, sew, etc. But, it was a lonely life during the day, because she was not interacting with others and had no young children to care for. Little by little, she let Rambo get close to her. He really seemed to fill a void for her, one that no one else could. Sometimes I wish I could have been a fly on the wall, listening to her conversations with Rambo! Before you knew it, she and Rambo were inseparable! She even made home-cooked meals for him!! I mean, really??
My grandmother’s demeanor changed. She was more bubbly, and giggly. When she wanted to be funny she didn’t have to try hard, she was hilarious, mostly because she laughed at herself so hard that we laughed at her! Rambo became her daily companion; her everything. Loving him and caring for him was a high priority for her. So, you can imagine how difficult it was when Rambo died. Mami was so depressed; unconsolable for months. Watching her suffer was very hard for all of us. We saw my grandmother’s overall well-being soar because of her very close relationship Rambo. It was a true wellness lever for her.
I share this story, because I’ve had a few moments over these last two weeks when I have noticed that how I have been thinking about our new life with Ocean has not been supporting or allowing my well-being to be optimal. I have found myself reacting too much, complaining, and feeling sorry for myself (when I can’t sleep, or have to clean my rugs- again!, or take the puppy out on wet grass, or in the rain every 1/2 hour). Thinking of how much joy Rambo brought to my grandmother’s life, and also how much love and joy our former dog, Cousteau, brought to our lives, has helped me to become more intentional (I’m learning how to puppy train!), set realistic expectations (yes, she’s a puppy and will poop and pee a lot and cry at night!), and really forgive both Ocean, for doing what she can’t yet understand and control, and forgive myself, for being an emotional human!
I’m also really enjoying her and focusing on who she is naturally– a pup who offers so much unconditional love, which is not always easy to find, and I’m imagining how amazing our lives will be with her as she grows up. Day-by-day it is getting easier. And, well, I just can’t get enough of her puppy breath! I’m learning so much about training puppies now (instead of just complaining and feeling like a victim), that I can probably offer you a few tips if you ever need them! LOL.
Shifting a bit to well-being at work, companies that are putting the well-being of their employees first are understanding the important link between pets and their owners’ happiness and productivity. More and more we are seeing employers adding pets at work as a benefit. I just came across this video interview with Dr. “Woody” Woodward, who serves on the board of our Center for Leadership, sharing this trend.
What part do pets play in your well-being? Are they enhancing your well-being? If so, how?
I, for one, am looking forward to going on longer, faster walks with Ocean, which I know will enhance my wellness plan. And, there is simply no way to measure the amount of love that a pet can bring in your life. It can be priceless.
I’d love to hear your stories!
If you’ve missed any of our Summer of Well-Being blogs, you will find them here.
AND…you won’t want to miss our guest blogger on Thursday…the amazing Mina Shah! Catch you then!!
It’s your life. Lead it well.
Monique
Shut the Front Door! Or not.
July 7, 2014
Welcome Back to our Summer of Well-Being awareness program! We are nearly half-way through the program, and already I’ve received feedback on how so many of you are enjoying the blogs/vlogs and choosing to make your well-being a priority through small, attainable steps. If you’ve missed any of the blogs, you will find them here.
Have you heard this popular new expression, “Shut the front door!”? It’s so catchy that I find myself using it often instead of saying something like, “No way!”, or “You must be kidding me!” In the context of my blog today, however, as well as in preparation for Sheena’s blog on Thursday, I’m thinking of it in this way…
- Our minds are so darn busy that we consciously have to “shut the door” to our mind to intentionally focus it toward something meaningful, And…
- Life sometimes feels like we are on warp speed that we have very little consistency and change is ever-present, keeping us from achieving a sense of balance. Our plans keep escaping out that front door and we want to shut it!
Is is realistic to keep shutting the door, or should we proactively keep it ajar doing a little dance with it?
I am a fan of Kabbalah wisdom, and today’s message couldn’t have been more spot on for me in thinking of this door in my mind’s eye. It says:
When the Israelites were in the desert, they were given food one day at a time. They were told not to create a stockpile; the manna would fall from the sky everyday.
The message in this is actually quite simple and clear: Today is the day that counts. The Creator will provide for us each day. There is no such thing right now as “tomorrow.”
If we aren’t capable of giving of ourselves today, if we aren’t able to establish a connection to the Divine love that each of us has within, then we have yet to understand this important lesson—that each day is in itself the fulfillment.
No person on earth has a guarantee that tomorrow will happen.
The simplicity of this message excites me! All the planning in the world won’t matter if we cannot connect with what’s important, purposeful, and divine in this moment. When all of our wellness plans go flying out the door, how do we achieve a state of well-being in this moment? If you happen to be very excited about achieving a greater sense of well-being, but are having difficulty being consistent, why not try dancing in the moment?
This morning was one of those mornings when my door flew open! We just brought home a new puppy, and as joyful as it’s been, it’s also been exhausting and unpredictable! I found myself struggling with trying to control this little ball of energy (yeah, right!), as well as making plans–all of which flew out the door as well! Just like having a new-born baby, my sleep has come and gone. If you’ve been following my blog and read those I wrote about Arianna Huffington’s, Thrive, you know that one of my critical wellness levers is sleep! Not only was my “front door” open, I was sleep walking out of it!
The truth is that our path to well-being will be most solid, I believe, when we have the capacity to make the appropriate “well” decisions moment-by-moment, leaving behind the complaints and excuses. On this more hectic day, some of my moment-to-moment decisions were:
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5 am: Drink warm water with lemon to detox while I play with the puppy!
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Grab another glass of water to drink while driving my daughter to camp.
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Starving by 7 am, but no great options at home! I chose to wait until 9 for breakfast with a friend so I could choose a healthy snack and small cup of coffee (instead of large!).
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Pick up a salad on the way to the office so my exhaustion doesn’t cause me to pick something “easy” or “quick”.
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Run up the stairs to the office to get my heart moving.
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And the dance continued!
I am a planner by nature, but I have to admit that leaving the door ajar and dancing in the moment sometimes just feels right. The stress of planning it all and knowing it all can also hinder us from feeling well. And, as the message above indicates, there is a divinity to trusting in the moment–what is revealed or given to us, or what we choose to make happen today. In the same, if our wellness plans failed yesterday, we still have today!!! When it’s not empowering, this dance certainly provides us with a great opportunity to learn and to forgive ourselves if we happen to not choose wisely.
When it comes to your well-being, is dancing in the moment hard for you, or do you thrive on it?
Do you want to shut the front door? How can you benefit from leaving it ajar?
Wishing you an amazing week of wellness!
Namaste,
Monique
Photo courtesy of ChiaLynn
The Benefits of Meditation, by Livia Stabile
July 3, 2014
SUMMER OF WELL-BEING WEEK 5
The practice of meditation has many benefits when it comes to health and well-being. It is especially helpful if you are a busy professional and you find yourself sometimes caving into your hectic work and life schedule. If you are knew to the world of meditation, don’t worry. This week for Summer of Well-Being, we give you Livia Stabile. In the video below she talks about the benefits of meditation and walks you through a simple meditation that you can do anywhere for as long as you’d like. Watch her video, try it out, and leave a comment below!
Illumined Life Leadership 