Pushing Through.

February 27, 2014


As a young child I experienced a strong sense of motivation, because I knew at a very young age that I loved to dance and perform.  I began dancing at the age of three, and time stood still when I danced. Even when I was not in class, but at home, I would play music and choreograph my own dances in front of our ceiling to floor mirrors. I was in my flow.

That was my experience, but not necessarily my daughter’s. As an achiever, it would be easy for me to push my dream, or a form of my dream on her to do the same, but I have worked so hard not to do that. I remember the day she told me she wanted to dance, but those classes did not last long. Although she was great, it was not her thing! She is now going on 10 years of age, and I think to myself, “Is she really going to grow up not playing any sports, or dancing, or…?” Recently, I heard the statistic that 80% of the most successful women in Fortune 500 companies all played competitive sports in high school, and my next thought was, “Wow, as a ‘good’ mom do I need to force her to do something to ensure her success?” That thought, of course, came from a place of fear, not love.

I think back to when she was potty training and everything that could go wrong did. In fact, it wasn’t until she was almost five that one day she said, “Mom, come look. I did it!” And that was it. She knew what she had to do, and she did it when she was ready.

Nia finally picked something new to try. She recently started Karate. Although her general modus operandi is to be a bit lazy when it comes to physical things (she’d rather be exploring out in nature!), I find that she likes Karate just enough to not quit. In fact, one of her teachers saw something in her, not on the physical toughness side, but, in her energy—her essence to want to do be noticed for her intelligence and to win. She is quite competitive! So, she’s was invited to try out for the competition team and I’ve seen her turn a new page. I see her fighting harder and not giving up when the going gets tough. She is pushing through. I also know that these teachers breathing belief into her is helping so much! They, too, could easily give up on her and tell her she’s not yet ready. What they have done is open the door for her to decide to do something very challenging while feeling supported.

In the same, the protective parent in me wanted to make it easy and safe for her. I had many “Oh no, she can’t do that!” or “She’s not ready to do that!” moments. But I kept those thoughts in my head. Instead, I cheered her on and allowed her to make the decision to stick with it or walk away.

Reflecting on this has helped cement a few concepts for me, which also may help you in a particular situation in which you may find yourself. They are:

  1. We each have unique passions that call to us and put us in our “flow” and/or help us to feel strong/on the verge of greatness.
  2. There is a time and place for everything.
  3. Pushing through in some way in our lives helps us to achieve a sense of purpose and pleasure.

Where can you apply this learning?

Where can you Push Through?

How can you support someone else to do the same?

Make sure to comment below. I’d love to hear your examples of pushing through.

It’s your life. Lead it well.

Namaste, Monique

Kick Up Some Dirt

February 2, 2011


As a life-long dancer the first thing I picture when I hear the words “Kick up some dirt” is a person dancing wildly, no holds barred, on the beach, or at a backyard hoedown. Yet this month (and everyday, really) it can hold another meaning, one that signifies resilience, persistence and laser focus (kinda sounds like a dancer’s life as well!).

With still so much energy behind this new year–2011–and all of the ideas, excitement and light with which we christened it still tangible, I am questioning what it truly takes to get to where we want to go… to light up and deliver results.

What does it take and why don’t we always follow through?

In coaching with others about Energy Leadership we talk quite a bit about our default tendencies–those thoughts, beliefs, actions (and non-actions!) that we have either learned over time, or created to protect ourselves, which over the years have become entrenched into our psyche. Many times, unless we really look for them we don’t know they exist and that they hold us back. However, if we are the  introspective kind and have a good idea as to what and why we do the things we do, I would dare to claim that we have the high likelihood of really creating a breakthrough if we are truly committed to making it happen.

So, how do we build this commitment?

Yes, it is true that less than half of all individuals who create a new year’s resolution break them by month six, but I’m more interested in studying the smaller percentage who are “Fireworks,”  as Katy Perry would describe them, because not only do they NOT break their resolutions, they reach them, BIG TIME!  I love it in Katie Perry’s song, Firework, when she sings “Make them go Ah, Ah, Ah as you shoot across the sky!”

When others marvel at what you’ve accomplished (Ahhh!),

and even better,when YOU marvel at what you’ve accomplished,

you’ve done something not many do often.

Perhaps a quick poll can help shed some more light.

What would you say you hear more often from yourself and others?

  1. “Gosh, I just haven’t had the time or energy to work on my goal. Maybe tomorrow!”  – OR-

  2. “You’re never going to believe what I accomplished today! It took all the energy I could find, but I’ve got a fire in my belly!”

I’d love to get your feedback on this… a quick pulse of what you’re seeing out there. Please check in.

So, back to finding that commitment, as well as resiliency, persistence and laser focus.

What does it take to master them?

Consider this 5 step plan of action to get you on your way:

  1. Dig Deep.
    If you haven’t spent much time looking within start now. Try it for one week. Simply keep a journal to track your actions or non-actions and the possible reasons behind them. What are your thoughts, beliefs, and fears related to them? What fires you up or waters you down and why? I guarantee you’ll know yourself better than you did 7 days prior.  

    Jack Canfield uses a great visual to signify all of those “default tendencies” we tend not to see. Imagine the tip of an iceberg above the ocean, now go below the ocean in your mind to uncover the larger part of the iceberg…the part we don’t see that’s at least 5 times the size of the tip. This part underwater, what we don’t see, is likened to our subconscious. Let’s begin chipping away at that massive obstruction and start living more consciously!


  2. Identify ONE Breakthrough Goal.
    A Breakthrough goal is something that you normally would avoid committing to. It doesn’t have to be BIG or complicated, but something that will require you to get out of your box. Pick only one; this is key. Don’t set out to change your entire life. All Breakthrough goals are made up of many smaller goals, so consider creating a mind map of your Breakthrough goal. Pick that first small step to focus on and simply keep the larger goal where you can see it daily, off in the distance.
  3. Create a NEW Default. We evolve just as time evolves. Yes, habits are hard to break, but PLEASE break them if they are not doing you any good! You have the power to create a new habit…a new default tendency, one that will move you forward and will not define you. How do you create a new habit or routine? Bring it up from your subconscious to your conscious. Acknowledge it. Speak to it. Thank it for its service. Tell it it’s time to go bye, bye! Define your NEW habit, and bring it to life by giving it your undivided attention. LOVE on it!

    My quote for the day from my Ask and it is Given card deck applies nicely to this: “Like learning to understand the basics of mathematics and then having the successful experience of understanding the results of their applications, once you have a formula for understanding your world that is always consistent, it will yield consistent results for you.


  4. Kick up some dirt! Yes, this is the hard part. You know where you want to go, you’ve dug out the unwanted from deep down and placed lots of conscious energy around your new normal. Now the work begins. Kick up some dirt every day. Would you go today without brushing your teeth or taking a shower (Ok…maybe you shouldn’t answer this. LOL!)? Your new normal needs to become a priority, just like your other routine activities. Define a way to hold yourself accountable.

    Stephen Covey helps to lead the way in this thought via Habit 3 of this 7 Habits of Highly Effective People…Put First Things First! Make this a FIRST in your life to watch it truly become a new default tendency. This new habit will take you from dependence to independence, or self-mastery.

  5. Kick up the celebration! Revel in your accomplishments daily. Share your success, even if it’s only with your pet, the best of listeners! No goal achieved is too small. Creating an environment of excitement and joy helps to expand your energy field, therefore attracting back to you more of what you want and need.

Revel in the newness. The new year, new default tendencies, new successes.

Have fun with the process,