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Lessons from the Potty

May 19, 2009

You can do it, Princess!
When is it truly the right time to do something or be someone? Do you find that often we push ourselves so hard to accomplish a goal or make a change that the result is just not what we expected? This became clear to me earlier this year when my daughter (finally!) became a potty queen! But, boy, did it take a while!
 
I always remember reading in toddler magazines and hearing from my relatives and friends that girls learn to potty much quicker than boys. Our first child was a boy, and it was no easy task, but he got it done just in time for Pre-K 3.  So, I was ready and expecting tremendous success from my simply fabulous little Princess, but when the results of our efforts failed, we felt like failures too. Were our expectations of her too high? Did she sense that from us and set herself up for failure? Neither, I believe.
 
What I did realize soon after she made it happen was that it had absolutely nothing to do with me, my husband, or anyone else’s expectations of her. It did, though, have everything to do with her expectations of herself and her state of readiness. It was truly a powerful lesson for us all.
 
We tried everything to get her to potty—all the tricks in the book.  Nope…they did not work! My daughter simply was not ready. She would tell me “No, Mom, I’m not ready,” but I just didn’t listen. I stuck with “the plan” hoping for a turn-a-round. After realizing none of the plans or tricks were working, we all just simply gave in and gave up. I thought to myself, “Maybe she really isn’t ready.” I let it be, and I also forgave myself for not being successful “like all the other mommies were.”
 
It was at 4 ½ that she finally drummed up the courage to go potty. In fact, she was so courageous about it that she didn’t tell anyone. She simply walked confidently into the bathroom one afternoon, sat on the toilet, did her business, and even cleaned up after herself. Needless to say, I was ecstatic. But, more than ecstatic, I was proud. Proud that I didn’t continue to push her to be “like all the others”; proud that I finally listened to her telling us she wasn’t ready; and most of all, proud of her for knowing when it was the right time FOR HER to be successful at this task.
 
This experience taught me a lot about parenting, but it also shed some light on how we push ourselves consistently to do this and that and achieve this and that because we feel it is necessary, mandatory or expected of us. I believe this is a lesson of truly listening to ourselves and learning to know the feeling we feel when “now is the right time.”
 
Reflecting upon this, I can see, too, how I forced certain things to happen in my life, perhaps to prove to myself that I could do it, yet it truly wasn’t the right move for me or the right time to make the move. I can also tell you that I knew these things deep down but chose not to acknowledge them.
 
Is it okay not to listen to our inner voice—to be rebellious with ourselves and push forward? Sure! Every action provides learning, and life is all about learning. However, is it better to sit with ourselves for a while and weigh our options prior to moving forward? I would argue, yes, the effort you put in may reap greater rewards.
 
We can also look at ourselves as managers of others in these situations. Is what we are asking of others unrealistic? Are the right people on the bus in the right seats? Especially during tough fiscal times many individuals are being asked to take on more work, and work that they normally would not be assigned because it may not be in their field of training or related to one of their skill sets or strengths. How far can we push others to get the results we feel or are being told are necessary? Perhaps, during these times, our best role as managers is to really listen and help teach others how to better listen to and know what their inner voice is saying to them. If they do, I believe we may find greater levels of creativity, excitement, communication, and productivity in the work place despite the economy woes.
 
They say that the only constant is change. I agree with this. And because change is constant it makes perfect sense that a goal we want to achieve today may not be possible until six months or six years from now. And, because everything is constantly changing, so are we as human beings. So what does this mean? It means that even if a goal we have is not doable until six months from now, when six months rolls around we may not even want to, or need to achieve that goal any longer. If we are not keenly in touch with our inner voice, we may put that goal into action (just because we said we would) without the desire, proper backing, enthusiasm or support to achieve success.
 
Recently, I took a quiz in Facebook that was created by our Marketing Team in FIU’s  College of  Business to assess one’s ability to come up with creative business ideas and solutions. It’s called Uncommon Thinkers, and if you use Facebook, you can find it here: http://apps.facebook.com/uncommonthinkers/?ref=nf.  If anything, take it for fun. That, it is!
 
I took this quiz over a year ago when the college launched its Uncommon Thinkers campaign. At that time, it showed me as being a “creative thinker”. This time, it showed me as being a “risk taker”.  Funny enough, scanning my life over the last year or so, it couldn’t have been more right. I would have never tagged myself as a risk taker, but in my life today, I have become quite the risk taker, and it feels good because I know the timing is right to take some bold moves. Just as my daughter clearly conveyed to us that she was not ready, I have clearly conveyed to myself that I am ready for change and risk. What about you? Do you have similar experiences you can share?
 
Embrace change…know thyself well…and push forward on your goals when your inner voice says “go now”.
 
Much success today and always,
Monique Renee Catoggio, MBA
Posted by Illumined Life Leadership
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Let It Flow

March 10, 2009

Just recently I had the pleasure of going to Aruba for my husband’s President’s Club Trip (an incentive trip via his company). It was only a weekend trip, yet I was so thrilled to be experiencing some much needed rest and fun in a place I had never visited. My whistle was wet, but I wanted more!

This trip reminded me of last year’s incentive trip to Cabo San Lucas, which was magical. It was during this trip that I made the decision (and my husband agreed!) that it would be a goal of ours to go on as many mini-vacations as possible, even if they were only in Florida. Our children are at an age where they, too, will enjoy and learn from visiting places outside of their home city…out of their routine.

When we came back from Cabo I worked with my coach to create my Life Plan. This is a carefully crafted document, with vision, passion, love, and excitement poured into it! What a fun exercise! I took the time to design the life I wanted to experience 25 years from now, and in addition, the steps or actions that I wanted to see myself complete within 10, 5 and 1 year(s) from now in order to fulfill that vision.

Within my short range plan (one year), one of the actions that had so much positive energy surrounding it was my goal to “take as many mini-trips” as possible…maximum one per month. It wasn’t until my close friend Mal made a comment on my Facebook profile that I, too, realized that my intention—my request of the universe was coming to fruition. Mal’s comment was something like this…”Mo, I remember you telling me that you wanted to take a lot of little trips this year and you’re doing it…you’re living the ‘the secret!’”

Wow! She was right! For those of you who have studied the Law of Attraction, or felt motivated by The Secret or previously published books relating to manifesting your desires into reality, this personal example may come in handy for you! Because of our day-to-day responsibilities and busy thoughts and actions, it can be so easy to miss when your dreams are coming true. Mal’s message to me was my gift for that day, because it helped me to be grateful for my many blessings, and it reminded me that you can achieve what you wish for.

The first thought that came to me was “I had so much positive energy surrounding this goal that I let it go…gave it to the universe to make it happen…and simply accepted the gifts as they came.” My friends, it doesn’t get much easier than this. We can continue to read books, listen to lectures, ask for advice, but the proof is in the pudding! The moment you truly allow yourself to Ask, Believe, and Receive and Trust that it will come to pass, the rest is easy and the stress is removed. And what is the rest, you ask? Ahhh…it’s the best part…living in the moment!

Let me reference an amazing CD I recently listened to, which my divine friend Lynn let me borrow (love ya girl!). It’s called The Astonishing Power of Emotions by Esther and Jerry Hicks. They are the authors of “Ask and It Is Given.” The link provided here is from one of their talks shown on YouTube. I cannot even come close to perfectly delivering their message, but I shall try to synthesize the thought quickly and as best as I can. Here I go…

According to the Hicks (or Abraham, as they refer to themselves), our lives are like a stream and everything we want—our desires; what we hope to manifest or receive—is downstream. However, due to our human nature to work, work, work, and try, try, try, and fight, fight, fight for what we want we tend to row against the stream’s current and violently row our oars to go upstream. We are resisting the current that naturally wants to take us downstream and give us what we desire. We often tell ourselves that people only get what they want when they work so hard to get it, but according to the Law of Attraction, nothing that we want is upstream…not one!

According to Abraham the stream will continue to flow all of our lives, and will flow faster and faster as we continue to create and fight for our desires. Yet, when we release our oars and let the current take us downstream, that is when we feel a sense of relief and we are in vibrational sync with that which we desire.

Abraham asks, “How long do you want to wait to get what you want?” Not long at all if you just go with the flow. When you do you are reaching for the positive feeling of having that which you desire and the current is taking you in that direction. When you fight, fight, fight upstream and create upstream thoughts, like “I don’t have it yet and I need it to be happy!” you are focused only on what you don’t have and may be missing opportunities that float right by you. Yet, when you go with the flow…Ask and Believe…then you will notice these gifts and the Receiving will come much faster.

Let’s stop battling the current of our own intentions!

Take some time to think about those things you want to manifest in your life and create the feeling deep inside of how you will feel when you have them. Feel it now, and let it go; go with the flow and let it come to you.

Do you have examples of how receiving gifts from the universe came faster and felt better when you didn’t fight so hard to get it? I’d love to hear about your experiences.

Let me close with a message of gratitude (from my Daily Kabbalah Tune Up)–so important to the exercise of living in the now and receiving what we are divinely ordered to receive. This message was actually delivered on my birthday, March 6, and I was very grateful for that! Here it is:

Friday, March 6

The power of miracles is available to us at every moment. There are many practical steps you can take to connect with this power. They all involve finding excitement and beauty in the permanent and lasting gifts of the Creator.

-Begin the day with gratitude
-Realize that life itself is a miracle.
-Recognize the precision and wonder of nature.
-Seek the Light in every person you meet.
-Identify the Light in all things.


Exercise these five steps today and you will have the power of miracles on your side. Create the unthinkable – for yourself, for your loved ones, and for the world.
Wishing you daily miracles,

 

Monique

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