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MightyKindness

Welcome to Week 5 of Summer of Well-Being! I love sharing what I learn on my own well-being journey, and I’m THRILLED to be taking all these juicy tid-bits of great information our guest bloggers are sharing with us and applying them to my daily learnings, and ultimately, my very own evolution. If you’ve missed our first four weeks, you can find those blogs here. I’ve already seen this week’s vlog by Livia Stabile, Vedic Master certified by Deepak Chopra, and a Registered Mental Health Counselor, and you’re going to just love it! I appreciate her knowledge, wisdom and love for helping and teaching others. Make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss it!

Have you done the same for yourself? What growth in your well-being have you experienced so far? I always enjoy hearing from you, so feel free to share below.

Stuck

I just enjoyed a wonderful long weekend with some of my “besties” in New Orleans, and just as the plane was about to land in Miami, I experienced one of those moments that we can either grow from or shrink from. Here’s the quick 411: just moments from landing on time, our plane is sent to Fort Myers due to storms. We are told that as soon as the airport re-opens in Miami we’ll be one of the first planes to leave. We are in a holding pattern for several hours. Finally, we are informed that the flight will be cancelled due to the pilots’ shift ending. There are no more planes or pilots. The flight was cancelled and we were STUCK (or at least my initial reaction was one of feeling stuck and powerless). We are told that eventually a bus will be available to take us back to Miami.. The only thing I could think of was, “I have to get home to my kids! My kids are expecting me.” Even though they were in a safe place, my “Mommy guilt” was on overdrive.

Grow or Shrink?

I have to be honest,  I wasn’t sure which way I was going! Was I going to grow from this or shrink from this? Looking back on it now, I vividly see the cycle that I went through, which was launched by my thoughts and was followed by my emotions. The pattern continued until I reached a point of clarity. And, since I don’t believe in coincidences, I’m grateful for observing the book one of my seat-mates was readingEmotional Intelligence 2.0 which quickly reminded me of Lina Acosta Sandaal’s post and the steps she offered for being either receptive or reactive. I knew that the choice was mine.

You know this cycle…

1. Stressor hits.
2. Thoughts go wild! Fight or flight!
3. Emotions erupt and body floods with Cortisol and Adrenaline.
4. Reactivity strikes. Usually not good reactions!

So how do we stop this cycle?

In answering this question, I’m reminded of a quote from the book Ask and It Is Given, which is all about understanding our inner power, how it is connected to a greater source of truth and power, and how we allow our natural well-being to come forward by accepting this power we all have. It goes like this:

“You now remember that you are free (in fact, you are so free that you could choose bondage), and that everything that comes to you is in response to the thoughts you are thinking.”

Self-Compassion and Safety

Martha Beck, coach and contributor to O Magazine, shares in one of her articles that when anxiety strikes, we should try what poet, Rumi, calls “Mighty Kindness.” I just love this term! By offering kindness to ourselves, we are creating within ourselves the safety that we need to stop our negative emotions from firing uncontrollably (lack of emotional intelligence). She offers that we can speak to ourselves like this: May I be healthy. May I be free from suffering. Or, in my scenario, May I release my fear of not getting home to my children, or May I feel safe.

The bump in my travel schedule put my emotional intelligence to the test. It also allowed me to see the stress cycle in action. Finally, in the end, I understood that I had a decision; which path would I choose? Because I always ask “What was the lesson here?”, I also realized how helpful it was to understand that I was not alone in this. There was an entire plane filled with individuals experiencing the same feelings. I met a couple who married that day and wouldn’t reach their honeymoon destination. I met a recent college grad who had an interview of a lifetime the next day, and many others who all missed their connections.

We are not alone.  

A big part of well-being is our connection with others and communicating our feelings. My seat-mates and I, although strangers initially, supported each other, stayed together, and helped each other stay more on the responsive side. Situations like these stink, but are wonderful teaching opportunities for us all.

This week we will have an opportunity to learn more about meditation—one of the many ways we can support ourselves daily, and during stressful times, like the one I shared above. I can’t wait to share Livia’s video with you on Thursday. Look out for it!

If you’re enjoying Summer of Well-Being, why don’t you share it with a colleague, friend or relative? Share the love; pass it on. “-)

Namaste,
Monique

Photo courtesy of mehmet nevzat erdoğan

Let It Flow

March 10, 2009

Just recently I had the pleasure of going to Aruba for my husband’s President’s Club Trip (an incentive trip via his company). It was only a weekend trip, yet I was so thrilled to be experiencing some much needed rest and fun in a place I had never visited. My whistle was wet, but I wanted more!

This trip reminded me of last year’s incentive trip to Cabo San Lucas, which was magical. It was during this trip that I made the decision (and my husband agreed!) that it would be a goal of ours to go on as many mini-vacations as possible, even if they were only in Florida. Our children are at an age where they, too, will enjoy and learn from visiting places outside of their home city…out of their routine.

When we came back from Cabo I worked with my coach to create my Life Plan. This is a carefully crafted document, with vision, passion, love, and excitement poured into it! What a fun exercise! I took the time to design the life I wanted to experience 25 years from now, and in addition, the steps or actions that I wanted to see myself complete within 10, 5 and 1 year(s) from now in order to fulfill that vision.

Within my short range plan (one year), one of the actions that had so much positive energy surrounding it was my goal to “take as many mini-trips” as possible…maximum one per month. It wasn’t until my close friend Mal made a comment on my Facebook profile that I, too, realized that my intention—my request of the universe was coming to fruition. Mal’s comment was something like this…”Mo, I remember you telling me that you wanted to take a lot of little trips this year and you’re doing it…you’re living the ‘the secret!’”

Wow! She was right! For those of you who have studied the Law of Attraction, or felt motivated by The Secret or previously published books relating to manifesting your desires into reality, this personal example may come in handy for you! Because of our day-to-day responsibilities and busy thoughts and actions, it can be so easy to miss when your dreams are coming true. Mal’s message to me was my gift for that day, because it helped me to be grateful for my many blessings, and it reminded me that you can achieve what you wish for.

The first thought that came to me was “I had so much positive energy surrounding this goal that I let it go…gave it to the universe to make it happen…and simply accepted the gifts as they came.” My friends, it doesn’t get much easier than this. We can continue to read books, listen to lectures, ask for advice, but the proof is in the pudding! The moment you truly allow yourself to Ask, Believe, and Receive and Trust that it will come to pass, the rest is easy and the stress is removed. And what is the rest, you ask? Ahhh…it’s the best part…living in the moment!

Let me reference an amazing CD I recently listened to, which my divine friend Lynn let me borrow (love ya girl!). It’s called The Astonishing Power of Emotions by Esther and Jerry Hicks. They are the authors of “Ask and It Is Given.” The link provided here is from one of their talks shown on YouTube. I cannot even come close to perfectly delivering their message, but I shall try to synthesize the thought quickly and as best as I can. Here I go…

According to the Hicks (or Abraham, as they refer to themselves), our lives are like a stream and everything we want—our desires; what we hope to manifest or receive—is downstream. However, due to our human nature to work, work, work, and try, try, try, and fight, fight, fight for what we want we tend to row against the stream’s current and violently row our oars to go upstream. We are resisting the current that naturally wants to take us downstream and give us what we desire. We often tell ourselves that people only get what they want when they work so hard to get it, but according to the Law of Attraction, nothing that we want is upstream…not one!

According to Abraham the stream will continue to flow all of our lives, and will flow faster and faster as we continue to create and fight for our desires. Yet, when we release our oars and let the current take us downstream, that is when we feel a sense of relief and we are in vibrational sync with that which we desire.

Abraham asks, “How long do you want to wait to get what you want?” Not long at all if you just go with the flow. When you do you are reaching for the positive feeling of having that which you desire and the current is taking you in that direction. When you fight, fight, fight upstream and create upstream thoughts, like “I don’t have it yet and I need it to be happy!” you are focused only on what you don’t have and may be missing opportunities that float right by you. Yet, when you go with the flow…Ask and Believe…then you will notice these gifts and the Receiving will come much faster.

Let’s stop battling the current of our own intentions!

Take some time to think about those things you want to manifest in your life and create the feeling deep inside of how you will feel when you have them. Feel it now, and let it go; go with the flow and let it come to you.

Do you have examples of how receiving gifts from the universe came faster and felt better when you didn’t fight so hard to get it? I’d love to hear about your experiences.

Let me close with a message of gratitude (from my Daily Kabbalah Tune Up)–so important to the exercise of living in the now and receiving what we are divinely ordered to receive. This message was actually delivered on my birthday, March 6, and I was very grateful for that! Here it is:

Friday, March 6

The power of miracles is available to us at every moment. There are many practical steps you can take to connect with this power. They all involve finding excitement and beauty in the permanent and lasting gifts of the Creator.

-Begin the day with gratitude
-Realize that life itself is a miracle.
-Recognize the precision and wonder of nature.
-Seek the Light in every person you meet.
-Identify the Light in all things.


Exercise these five steps today and you will have the power of miracles on your side. Create the unthinkable – for yourself, for your loved ones, and for the world.
Wishing you daily miracles,

 

Monique