Be Still

January 24, 2013



I’m reading a book that a great friend of mine gave me over the holidays called What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, by Marshall Goldsmith.  In a nutshell it discusses the 20 habits that successful people should break in order to “get there”…that “next big thing” we are all looking for. I’m only on Part 1, but already I’m having tons of “aha” moments, not only for myself but for others who I’m coaching and mentoring.

One recent conversation comes to mind as I read about what Goldsmith calls the Natural Law. He shares,

 This is the natural law. Every choice, big or small, is a risk-reward decision where your bottom-line thinking is, “What’s in it for me?”

He also states,

 People will do something–including changing their behavior–only if it can be demonstrated that doing so is in their own best interests as defined by their own values.

So in my recent conversation, my client describes that she is struggling with a deep desire to do nothing…to be still. Doing nothing, for her, feels like staying in bed when she could be working or making things happen, not putting so much importance on doing what is necessary to advance in her career, and not coming to the rescue each time a family members needs saving. But, as Goldsmith explains above and in more detail in the book, this is not an easy thing to do, because for my client, allowing herself to do nothing means she will be going against some of her deeply held values and the Success Belief  Goldsmith calls, “I Choose to Succeed”.

Maybe this is true for you too, as it also is for me. If this happens to be one of your success beliefs, choosing to NOT succeed can feel horrible! You feel like a fish out of water…a boxer with no opponent. When it comes to success in our career, especially, we can play this recording in our head over and over again:

I can’t rest…I can’t not do nothing! If I don’t keep working hard and succeeding I may not move ahead! John (or Jane!) may steal my spotlight and I will miss out on new opportunities!

Sound familiar?

In this case, my client is feeling un-natural, because her natural state as well as many of her values are ones that may feel opposed to what her mind, body and soul may be needing right now in her life. Goldsmith discusses the importance of recognizing this natural law and our success habits, which sometimes DO need to be broken in order for us to truly get to where we need to go in our career an in our life.

Because I also study, practice and coach around the laws of energy and the energetic cycles we all go through (study of Chinese face reading/9 Star Ki), I also happen to believe and know that there are specific periods in our lives which require that we allow ourselves to rest, renew, and not push forward and achieve as greatly as we normally would. To do so, in fact, would be to go against the energy of that year.  It’s okay (and really great!) sometimes to DREAM instead of DO, STUDY instead of IMPLEMENT, WALK instead RUN, etc. It just so happens, that my client is heading into that exact cycle of energy right now in her life (unique for each individual). So, what she is feeling she needs to do right now is right on. By allowing these new habits to manifest she will be honoring herself and setting the stage for continued success in her life.

Life and where we drive it truly comes down to the patterns we create through our beliefs and habits. Goldsmith does a great job of helping us recognize many of those beliefs we subscribe to which will sit in our subconscious until we become aware and use this new knowledge to help us create positive change and set forth on a new success plan to get us where we want to go.

Thanks, David, for the book! I’m moving to Part 2 and  have an inkling I’ll love it!

Interested in knowing the energy of this year for you? Write to me: enpointecoach@gmail.com.

Namaste, Monique

2 Responses to “Be Still”

  1. kentiki Says:

    Doing nothing is deceptive. Our minds are usually doing something, usually too much. Daydreaming, fantasizing, etc., to me is cultivating the mind. And really, the mind is what makes us human. You should read the book “Quiet.” It’s excellent!

  2. I can’t say no to a new book, Ken! Thanks…I will definitely check it out. I agree with you that doing nothing truly does not exist. For me, daydreaming and fantasizing are great ways to “Be” without physically and actively engaging in an activity that requires an outcome. Thanks for commenting!

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