Three Steps to Having it ALL in Life and Love! by Gladys Diaz
June 11, 2015
In her post below, guest blogger Gladys Diaz addresses women who may be interested in creating greater intimacy in their romantic relationships through embracing their feminine essence, by rockin’ it as successful and independent career women, while at the same time allowing themselves to be loved fully and completely.
First, however, she shares some awesome tips for ANYONE who would like to communicate more effectively to create greater intimacy in any kind of relationship!
Three Steps to Having it ALL in Life and Love!
If there is something I have come to learn as a dating and relationship coach is that there is one fundamental desire held in the heart of each and every human being: The desire to be loved and accepted fully and completely.
In a world where we’re taught that it’s necessary to be independent, self-sufficient, and invincible in order to succeed in our careers and life, in general, it’s also important that we honor our heart’s true desire to love and be loved.
I believe there is nothing more powerful than a woman who embraces her feminine essence and is able to embody both her strength and softness, her power and vulnerability, and what makes her both invincible in her career and simply irresistible in her love life!
Unfortunately, there are some women who believe that they need to choose between having a successful and fulfilling career and being in a loving, intimate relationship.
So what are three steps you can take to ensure that you CAN have it all – the career, the lifestyle, and the love your heart desires?
1. Honor your desire to be in a loving relationship.
It’s time to get real with yourself. Yes, you’re strong, successful, and self-made, and none of that changes when you choose to also be loved, desired, and adored! Acknowledging and honoring your desire to share your life with someone is not a sign of weakness, a declaration that you’re unhappy with your life, or a confession to being helpless or “needy” without a partner in your life. It’s simply embracing the desire to share your life – all of it – the happiness, success, and, yes, the sadness and bumps along the road to success – with someone who will stand by, celebrate, and allow you to lean on him or her from time to time. This doesn’t make you weak. It just makes you human!
2. Allow your partner to care for and provide for you.
If the hair on the back of your head just stood up, relax! I’m not suggesting that you begin to “dumb down,” act helpless, or pretend you’re incapable of taking care of yourself. You’ve worked hard to get where you are and you deserve all of the success and rewards you’ve earned! However, I am inviting you to step into the wonderful pleasure of knowing that even though you can probably do it all on your own, when you’re in a relationship, you don’t have to!
If you’re in a relationship with a man, for example, it’s important to know that, for men there are usually 3 things that are most important when it comes to the woman they love. They need to know they can provide for, protect, and please you. This isn’t about being “macho” or seeing a woman as incompetent or incapable. The need to want to contribute to a woman’s life gives a man a sense of purpose. And that desire doesn’t make him any “needier” than your desire to be loved makes you “needy.” It’s just the way men are wired. So, if the man you’re with wants to pay for the dinner, let him. If he offers to carry your bag, let him. If he says runs to hold the door open for you, let him. And thank him, because feeling appreciated is another one of his top needs!
The point is that part of being in a partnership means allowing the other person to feel as if he or she is able to contribute to and make a difference for you. When you allow someone to do something for you that makes you happy, you are giving that person the gift of knowing that he or she had something to do with the smile on your face!
3. Let your partner see your softer side.
While a woman’s confidence is one of her most attractive attributes (second only to her smile), there is a fine line between being confident and being arrogant. Being confident sends the message that you love and accept who you are. Being arrogant sends the message, “I don’t need anyone… especially you!
Yes, your partner loves knowing that you were able to close the sale, inspire the room of executives to change their minds, and complete the project you’ve been working on for months. Your partner also loves knowing what your hopes and dreams are, what scares you, and how you feel about him or her (especially, the last one).
Being vulnerable can be scary, because you’re trusting someone with your feelings, dreams, and desires. But being vulnerable is necessary for creating love and intimacy in a relationship and the level of intimacy in a relationship is directly related to the amount of vulnerability you bring to it.
Trust that if you’re with a good person (and the signs will be there all along) your partner will not take advantage of your vulnerability. Instead, knowing that you trust him or her with your heart inspires your partner to want to be there for you, to care for you, and to become an even better person. While the person you choose to love may not always be perfect, trust that he or she will do everything to show you how honored they are to love and be loved by you.
Being strong, successful, and powerful is great. As women, we should be proud of the amazing things we are able to accomplish. But a truly successful life means feeling joy and fulfillment in every area – including your love life. And unlike at work, where we have to prove ourselves and earn our place at the top, the beauty of love is that you don’t have to do anything to deserve or earn it. Simply being you – the essence of who you are – is more than enough! So, embrace your feminine essence and allow yourself the joy and infinite pleasure of loving and being loved every day of your life!
Gladys Diaz, co-founder of Heart’s Desire International, is a dating and relationship coach, author, and speaker whose mission it is to empower every woman on the planet to experience loving and being loved every day of her life. She and her twin sister, Michelle Roza (also known as “The Love Twins”) specialize in guiding professional women around the world to have successful and prosperous careers and extraordinary loving relationships by removing the hidden barriers blocking them from experiencing love and intimacy in relationships and learning the skills that empower them to be invincible in the workplace and absolutely irresistible in their love lives!
For more information about Gladys and Heart’s Desire International, please visit http://www.heartsdesireintl.com.