Unconditional Love, Forgiveness, & Puppy Breath!
July 14, 2014
Meet Ocean, our brand new Labradane puppy, whose been in our lives for only two weeks. I wrote about her in my blog last week, and I want to write about her again today, because having her join our family has brought up so many great memories, as well as both joyous and challenging moments. Keeping up with my well-being habits has not been easy these last few weeks, and as a good student of my own teachings, I decided I had to broaden the way I not only looked at our new situation, but also how I could transcend it, bit-by-bit.
In thinking of transcending the challenges, I immediately am taken back to a time in my life when my grandmother, Amelia “Mami”, moved in to our childhood home, together with my sister and her family, as well as with my grandfather, Mario “Papi”. My sister had a Yorkshire Terrier named “Rambo”. Rambo was a very loving dog, despite his hyper tendencies. He loved to cuddle and be spoiled. My grandmother hated the idea of living with a dog in the house and complained to no end about it. But, she had no choice in the matter. Rambo wasn’t going anywhere.
Because my grandmother didn’t work, she stayed home all day. Her role was a very traditional, maternal one. Cook, clean, babysit, sew, etc. But, it was a lonely life during the day, because she was not interacting with others and had no young children to care for. Little by little, she let Rambo get close to her. He really seemed to fill a void for her, one that no one else could. Sometimes I wish I could have been a fly on the wall, listening to her conversations with Rambo! Before you knew it, she and Rambo were inseparable! She even made home-cooked meals for him!! I mean, really??
My grandmother’s demeanor changed. She was more bubbly, and giggly. When she wanted to be funny she didn’t have to try hard, she was hilarious, mostly because she laughed at herself so hard that we laughed at her! Rambo became her daily companion; her everything. Loving him and caring for him was a high priority for her. So, you can imagine how difficult it was when Rambo died. Mami was so depressed; unconsolable for months. Watching her suffer was very hard for all of us. We saw my grandmother’s overall well-being soar because of her very close relationship Rambo. It was a true wellness lever for her.
I share this story, because I’ve had a few moments over these last two weeks when I have noticed that how I have been thinking about our new life with Ocean has not been supporting or allowing my well-being to be optimal. I have found myself reacting too much, complaining, and feeling sorry for myself (when I can’t sleep, or have to clean my rugs- again!, or take the puppy out on wet grass, or in the rain every 1/2 hour). Thinking of how much joy Rambo brought to my grandmother’s life, and also how much love and joy our former dog, Cousteau, brought to our lives, has helped me to become more intentional (I’m learning how to puppy train!), set realistic expectations (yes, she’s a puppy and will poop and pee a lot and cry at night!), and really forgive both Ocean, for doing what she can’t yet understand and control, and forgive myself, for being an emotional human!
I’m also really enjoying her and focusing on who she is naturally– a pup who offers so much unconditional love, which is not always easy to find, and I’m imagining how amazing our lives will be with her as she grows up. Day-by-day it is getting easier. And, well, I just can’t get enough of her puppy breath! I’m learning so much about training puppies now (instead of just complaining and feeling like a victim), that I can probably offer you a few tips if you ever need them! LOL.
Shifting a bit to well-being at work, companies that are putting the well-being of their employees first are understanding the important link between pets and their owners’ happiness and productivity. More and more we are seeing employers adding pets at work as a benefit. I just came across this video interview with Dr. “Woody” Woodward, who serves on the board of our Center for Leadership, sharing this trend.
What part do pets play in your well-being? Are they enhancing your well-being? If so, how?
I, for one, am looking forward to going on longer, faster walks with Ocean, which I know will enhance my wellness plan. And, there is simply no way to measure the amount of love that a pet can bring in your life. It can be priceless.
I’d love to hear your stories!
If you’ve missed any of our Summer of Well-Being blogs, you will find them here.
AND…you won’t want to miss our guest blogger on Thursday…the amazing Mina Shah! Catch you then!!
It’s your life. Lead it well.
Monique
When Life Throws You Lemons, You …?
April 10, 2014
Change is inevitable – after all, nothing really stays the same. But in today’s challenging times, it seems like we’re on “uncertainty” overload, never knowing what will happen from one moment to the next. Here today, gone tomorrow – or, at the least, very different tomorrow.
Uncertainty brings stress and confusion, and while most of us would be quick to say that we want less stress and more certainty in our lives, what we really want is less of a stress reaction to what life is throwing our way.
We can’t choose what happens to us – but we can choose our responses to the situations we encounter. Let’s take a look at five different responses that people have to stressful situations. As you read through these five responses, you may want to think of a recent stressful event or news that you have received, and see what your reaction to that event can teach you about how you habitually respond. You may have one type of response at work, and another at home, or you may react differently depending on who else is involved.
The first, and unfortunately all too common response to stressful events is to suffer and be a victim to it. People who respond this way don’t take action. Things happen TO them – and though they may complain and be generally miserable about it, they don’t take any steps to do anything. They allow life to control them, instead of the other way around. This way of responding is certainly not recommended, and eventually, it will take its toll on one’s physical and mental health.
The second type of response is to accept it the situation, and to get some perspective on it. Someone with this response may say “so what,” or perhaps get some perspective on the situation by asking if it will it matter in a year – or a week – or even in a day.
The third way to respond is to actually take steps to change the situation – taking action to bring it to resolution (or at least move toward resolution). This is a very powerful response, and one that many effective leaders employ.
The fourth way to respond is to avoid the situation. People responding this way make a decision not to get involved in a situation that they don’t see as concerning them, or upon which they can’t make an impact. For example, someone may choose not to get involved in a dispute going on within their office if it doesn’t directly involve them.
The fifth and final way that people generally respond to stress is to alter the experience of the situation. When we look at a situation differently, the experience itself changes. Changing perceptions is probably the most challenging of the responses, because we tend to be stuck in our own interpretations and assumptions about what’s happening, but it is also perhaps the most powerful of all.
It’s your life, and you can create it and lead it as you wish. Remember, what one person sees as stressful, another person barely notices, or sees as exciting and full of opportunity.
So, when life throws you lemons, how will you choose?
Please comment below and keep the conversation going!
Namaste,
Monique
The Music IS Me
January 3, 2012
Yay! A new year! I’m feeling quite invigorated. How about you?
Just a few weeks ago I offered an easy way to connect with your Child Within for a powerful new year. Did you give it a try? If you did, I’d love to hear how it worked for you. If not, I hope that you took some steps, large or small, to set some intentions for a great year. So whether it was creating a vision board, setting goals, symbolically letting go of what didn’t work, or saying a prayer, I congratulate you for making time for yourself and getting your inspiration on!
Haven’t had the chance to prepare? You still have time!
In the past I’ve discussed how important music is for me. It is definitely one of my power tools. I love the simplicity of music as a tool, just like the simplicity of choosing a single powerful word (another great tool to use before a new year) to set you on a clear path in 2012. Although I have many great songs in my arsenal for different things, this one, for me, is a great “do it all” song. It lifts me up, allows me to let things go, and reminds me of some of my power thoughts that guide me. They include:
- You only have two choices in everything, love or fear. Choose love!
- Freedom is always yours if you want it.
- You have 100% responsibility over your life and how you feel.
- Don’t feel like a victim, ever. Find the positive in everything.
- Be proactive, not reactive.
- Being grateful every moment makes a difference.
- I am perfect in every moment. Everything is exactly as it should be right now.
- Always be professional and open-minded.
- Everyone is a student and a teacher.
- Your life is NOW. Live in the NOW. Enjoy the pleasures of life NOW.
YES…I got all of this out of this one song! My power song is Just Fine by Mary J. Blige. See why it’s one of my favorites? Not only does it remind me of how I want to live and feel, but I can’t stop dancing when I hear it. BINGO, I’ve got my song! You can see the video here and read the lyrics here.
Do you have a power song to take you into 2012? Here’s a tip to finding one:
- ID those songs that you love and make you feel good
- Ask yourself, “Why do I love this song? What does it make me want to do or stop doing?”
- Read the lyrics to the songs and determine why they mean something for you. Are your values instilled in them?
By doing these three things you are well on your way to finding the Music that IS You.
If you have a power song, I’d love to know what it is. Please share it with us all.
Enjoy the dance of 2012. Dance full-out!
Happy New Year,
Monique
Projecting Happiness
May 12, 2011
It occurred to me today just how easy it is to project onto others our disappointment and unhappiness as well as blame and guilt. The sad part is that I saw how quickly it can happen without the slightest pause; mostly unconsciously.
Today it almost happened to me with my children. Scary! Yet at the same time it wasn’t scary because I cherish these moments of awakening. On an almost daily basis I speak with others about living consciously and understanding the patterns that we continue to live with. There’s no question that we pass along beliefs, expectations and our own patterns to others, especially those we are close with. Yet, if we make a concerted effort to see our patterns– our default tendencies, then we can stop the past from reliving itself in the future, from generation to generation.
Yeah, I know, you want me to tell you what awful thing I almost did, right? Okay, I’ll spill the beans.
This morning wasn’t the smoothest “get out of the door and off to school” morning. My son’s pants didn’t fit right (and we couldn’t find any others!), my hair wasn’t doing its thing, my daughter refused to stop watching SpongeBob to brush her teeth, my bacon caught fire in the microwave, and then my son topped it off by turning on his X Box when we should have already arrived at school. We were super late!
As is certain, however, they were both mad at me for rushing them and being “mean.” I should have been laughing, really, but I was seething in that moment deep inside. To make things worst, they wouldn’t even look at me or speak to me in the car. Seriously???
I’m laughing now as I replay the entire scene in my head as it is the kind of classic example that I would give in one of my workshops. I was so angry, and I also was feeling sorry for myself. “How could my children treat me this way; I didn’t do anything. Poor me!” Interestingly enough, I’ve had similar mornings where this kind of scenario wouldn’t have phased me at all. Thankfully, the advisor in me spoke loudly inside before I spoke out to my children, potentially projecting the following, “How dare you be mad at me! What did I do to you? I should be the one ignoring both of you! You were both mean to me! etc….”
Scary, right? Yet doesn’t this happen all the time? What if I hadn’t had the uber conscious moment to understand what I was about to do and say to them? My projection would have taught them that it’s better to blame and make others feel guilty and sad instead of just dealing with my own emotions and shifting to higher, more productive thoughts…thoughts that would help the reactive emotions subside, ultimately not affecting my children and others in their path that day (or mine for that matter!).
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m human. I do project, probably more than I’m aware. But what I know for sure is that being more conscious is a way of life; a way of life I am choosing to follow. Challenging? Yes. But, worth the work.
I read this today which made me feel more secure in my desire to stop negative patterns from holding us back:
Your happiness does not depend on what others do, but only upon your own vibrational balance. And the happiness of others does not depend on you, but on their own vibrational balance, for the way anyone feels, in any moment, is only about their own mix of energies.
More on this concept of happiness and what we can both internalize and project onto others…
The greatest gift that you could ever give to another is your own happiness, for when you are in a state of joy or happiness or appreciation, you are fully connected to positive Source energy that is truly who you are. And when you are in that state of connection, anything or anyone that you are holding as your object of attention benefits from your attention.
What if you can’t choose happiness in that moment?
Well, then, do the next best thing:
- Be AWARE of your emotions
- ACCEPT them for what they are (Your own mix of energies!)
- CHOOSE to not project them onto anyone
When you feel ready to shift, tap into the happiness in the new moment, for each moment provides us with an opportunity to feel different and great.
What might you be projecting?
Stop the pattern.
Namaste,
Monique
The Dance of Relationships
April 11, 2011
Recently, I was asked to say a few words of inspiration at a wedding. I really enjoyed putting words to paper for this special occasion, and it seems as though my words did inspire a few to look at their relationships in a new way.
So, for my April blog, I thought I would share them with my greater audience, and hopefully, keep the dance moving for a bit longer.
Enjoy….
Each time I attend a wedding I can’t help but to be overcome with feelings of love and joy. And in particular, I get to thinking of the magic of relationships. Without the relationship we have with the Divine and the relationship we have with our parents, we would not even exist. That, in-and-of itself is magical.
I also think of my own marriage of almost 15 years and what the priest said to us that still to this day has been one of the keys to our amazing relationship… He said, “Don’t compete; complete!”
This is a transformational action, a way of living, and it can be applied to ALL of our relationships.
Just imagine how our relationships and interactions, whether personal or professional, could improve if we entered into them with this intention; one that builds and unites, instead of one that separates and breaks down.
Don’t compete, complete.
So, how do we go about completing each other? Well, therein lies the adventure. The dance of life and relationships. For in each moment we have the opportunity to grasp some fulfillment, joyfully, while allowing others to do the same. We can ebb and flow, giving and receiving, leading and following, like two tango dancers.
So let’s dance in life. Let’s dance enthusiastically!
As one of my favorite authors, Eckhart Tolle, tells us,
“Enthusiasm comes from a Greek word that means to be possessed by a God. With enthusiasm you will find that you don’t have to do it all by yourself, in fact, there is nothing of significance you can do by yourself.”
So, in closing, poet, Rumi, helps me wrap this up nicely by questioning,
Does a drop stay still in the ocean?
Move with the entirety,
And with the tiniest particular.
Be the moisture in an oyster
That helps to form one pearl.
May your relationships be the best dances of your life!
Namaste,
Monique
Pursue a Passion. Boost Your Happiness.
February 26, 2010
“The least strained and most natural ways of the soul are the most beautiful; the best occupations are the least forced.” – Michel de Montaigne
Happiness is such a great topic to discuss don’t you think? The Happiness Project has truly been a fun book to read. Not only have I learned a lot about the science behind happiness, but it was inspiring to follow someone along their 12-month journey to become happier; someone who has a lot of the same challenges many of us do—being authentic, having meaningful relationships, getting the most out of and growing in your career, and being a fantastic, loving mother, among many other goals. You don’t feel so alone on your journey when others are right there with you. It’s comforting.
There are so many reflection points for me in this book that I can blog about it forever, but in the spirit of reading and sharing with you many wonderful books, I will choose to end my happiness observations by chatting about passion. Gretchen Rubin’s theme for the month of September is “Pursue a Passion.” According to Rubin, “Happiness research predicts that making time for passion and treating it as a real priority instead of an ‘extra’ to be fitted in at a free moment (which many people practically never have) will bring a tremendous happiness boost.”
Would you say the same is true for you? It is for me. I can share many examples, but a fresh one is reading. Reading is a passion of mine, and through my blog and my Relaxed Book Club (for personal development), reading has become one of my top priorities for 2010.
Rubin challenged herself to write a fifty-thousand-word novel in thirty days, which amounts to 1,667 words a day. Yikes! Well, for her it was so thrilling. Rubin shared: “Writing a novel provided the ‘atmosphere of growth’ that, I was becoming more and more convinced, was essential to happiness; I’d included this element in my First Splendid Truth, but it was even more significant than I’d initially understood. The satisfaction gained from the achievement of a large undertaking is one of the most substantial that life affords.”
What passion is just an “extra” in your life right now that you can make a priority to give you a happiness boost?
So was Rubin’s Happiness Project successful? She believes it was. I will let you enjoy the read as I did and check out her happy ending, but I will share that because she was able to work on the kinds of things she truly enjoys versus those things which are more forced, she really loved working on her goals for September. She also gives much of the credit for her success to her Resolution Chart, which was her daily “Bible” and kept her on track. If you’d like to see a copy of Rubin’s Resolution Chart you can send her an email to: grubin@gretchenrubin.com. Just type “Resolution Chart” in the subject line.
So, care to continue with me on my journey? March’s selection for my Relaxed Book Club is Linchpin: Are you Indispensable? by Seth Godin. In his new book, Godin examines how a person becomes indispensable. It is a person within an organization who acts as an artist, puts his/her soul and passion into the work; it is “emotional work.” Sounds amazing….I can’t wait to begin (today!) and I hope you will join me.
My Relaxed Book Club will discuss selections from books I feel help high-achieving professionals continue to develop themselves and work on their personal leadership leading to more fulfilled, balanced and successful lives and careers.
Happy Trails, my friends!
Monique
Think Big & Make Magic.
February 15, 2010
If this is your first time visiting my blog, you’ll notice that I’m currently blogging about some great books—books that inspire and teach us how to improve our lives in many ways. This month we’re talking about Happiness. Enjoy….
Making time for friends is such a huge part of my life. I realized long ago how connecting with my very close friends (even in small ways, like a weekly email or a Facebook post) and being open to new friendships brings me so much joy. This is why I love Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project goals for June, which include remembering birthdays, being generous, showing up, not gossiping, and making new friends. According to Rubin’s research the most meaningful contributor to happiness is having strong social bonds.
Taking this further, Rubin’s research showed that being generous (or providing support to others) strengthens the bonds of friendship and simply, makes us feel good. However, since she couldn’t (or didn’t want to) add more tasks to her day, whether they were the feel good type or not, she did realize that helping people think big and bringing people together were a few of the ways that she demonstrated generosity. These resonate very strongly with me, and when I explored my own “generous” actions, the same seemed to be true for me. I always seek creative/idea-building environments and thrive in them. And, as a professional development guru, I simply LOVE brainstorming with colleagues, friends, and clients and watching them follow through on their magnificent, happiness-creating goals. The same goes with introducing one person to another, who together can create magic in some way. In business, we call them “referrals,” although now I’d rather call them “gifts.” When I do these things well, I definitely feel a surge of happy energy.
Here’s Rubin in her own words:
“I’d had a wonderful experience helping people think big myself. After Eliza started kindergarten, her nursery school arranged a reunion for all the children who had ‘graduated.’ While the children played with their former classmates, the nursery school directors, Nancy and Ellen, led a parent discussion about the kindergarten transition. As always, their insights were extremely helpful. When I stood up to leave I thought, ‘These two should write a book.’ I was immediately convinced that this was the greatest idea ever. I suggested it to them on the spot…I put them in touch with my agent…In a flash they had a book contract, and now Nancy Schulman and Ellen Birnbaum’s Practical Wisdom for Parents: Demystifying the Preschool Years is on the shelves. Knowing that I played a small role in their achievement made me intensely happy.”
How cool is that? To be able to help them think big and make one of their dreams come true…I’ll take that kind of happiness any day.
How do you help others think big?
What people can you bring together to create make some magic?
So, yes, as Rubin understood about herself during her Happiness Project, there are so many ways we can be generous, but they don’t always have to take up too much time or money or make us go out of our way. We can identify ways of being generous that are genuinely a part of who we are and what we already do.
Here’s a take-away…look for those “generous acts” in your life that are already present that you can turn up a notch to create more happiness in your life.
Let me know what you find.
-Monique
“Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.” –Buddha
My Relaxed Book Club will discuss selections from books I feel help high-achieving professionals continue to develop themselves and work on their personal leadership leading to more fulfilled, balanced and successful lives and careers.
Be Inspired. Be Happy.
February 1, 2010
During this first year of blogging I’ve written about ways that we can improve ourselves and our lives—productivity, personal responsibility, living your vision, living in the moment, shifting out of low and negative energies, accessing your intuition, and more. Yet when I think about the underlying purpose of why and what I write, it always comes down to HAPPINESS…finding it for myself and helping others fill their spirits with it. When I am happy I am a better person. I am energized, helpful, grateful, inspired, ready to take action, ready to be of service. Everything just seems to flow when we are happy. Isn’t genuine happiness what we are really after?
So when I learned of Gretchen Rubin’s new book The Happiness Project I couldn’t resist and pre-ordered it. The book is Rubin’s year-long “project” to learn everything there is to know about the science of happiness as well as her personal journey to achieve greater happiness and fulfillment. It’s an easy and fun read, and very insightful.
So many of her lessons learned rang true for me and she posed questions, I feel, that we should all be asking of ourselves. Then, I remembered how many times friends and colleagues asked me “How do you know what to write about? What inspires you?” And it became crystal clear to me that what I read daily is a huge source of inspiration for me. It could be anything—a book, a magazine article, a prayer, or a quote. My process is always as follows…read…reflect…learn…take action…feel inspired…inspire others.
And then I thought, “Wouldn’t it be great to share my process with other ‘students’ (like me), the books I am reading and applying to my life, and create a forum where we can share with each other and continue the process of reflecting, learning, taking action and feeling inspired?” I like it, and I’m taking action!
In launching this new idea (a part of my happiness project!) I’m going to choose an excerpt from The Happiness Project to get started. In fact, I will share quite a bit from Rubin’s book during the month of February—so it may feel like a “blog book club”. If you have ever wanted to take part in a book club, but perhaps a more relaxed version, here’s your chance! I hope you will participate with me.
So, in this first excerpt Rubin shares,
“It was time to expect more of myself. Yet as I thought about happiness, I kept running up against paradoxes. I wanted to change myself but accept myself. I wanted to take myself less seriously—and also more seriously. I wanted to use my time well, but I also wanted to wander, to play, to read at whim. I wanted to think about myself so I could forget myself. I was always on the edge of agitation; I wanted to let go of envy and anxiety about the future, yet keep my energy and ambition…Was I searching for spiritual growth and a life more dedicated to transcendent principles—or was my happiness project just an attempt to extend my driven, perfectionist ways to every aspect of my life?”
Wow! This hit me right in the gut. “This is me,” I told myself. In fact, the last line really made me question… “When is enough…enough?” Maybe this rings true for you as well. And perhaps even more so if you consider yourself a high achiever or overachiever as I have practically all my life. And in my daily quest to feel fulfilled and “happy” these paradoxes always show up.
So what’s one of my paradox’s you may be asking? I would say that worrying about tomorrow versus living in the moment is one I struggle with, but enjoy working on. It truly is a work in progress, but I can say that the more I am conscious of my tendencies and practice being in the moment, the happier I feel. A second example would be getting the 7 to 8 hours of sleep I need versus being a member of the 5:30 am “productivity club.” These two, believe me, are only a few of the paradoxes I experience daily. Do you have any that you would like to share?
So how do you manage these paradoxes in your quest for productivity, improvement, growth, and happiness? Well, here are four tips which work for me as well as for many of the magnificent high achievers I have the pleasure of coaching.
- Understand that many of the things we feel we “must” do are fear based. The majority of our “must do’s” and “should have’s” are a result of learned behavior. Do these sound familiar? — “If you don’t fight for it, you won’t get it”, or “You must work long, hard hours to make it to the top.” Claiming these beliefs as false is difficult, but can be eased greatly when we confront and work with our limiting beliefs and gremlins (those little voices in our head that tell us that we can’t do something or that we are not good enough). When we challenge these, we reduce the paradoxes that may prevent us from pushing forward.
- Breathe and give yourself positive self-talk in the moment. For example, when my daughter needs my full attention, while I feel that I must keep working, I literally stop what I am doing, take a deep breath and ask myself, “How true is it that my work will suffer if I don’t finish what I am doing in this very instant?” My answer is always, “not very true!” You also can ask yourself, “What is most important in this moment and why?” You will find your own answers. Your positive self-talk can take the form of an affirmation as well. When I am hit with the paradox of “I want to exercise more and I also want to rest more,” which drives to the heart of my self-esteem if I fail, I use this affirmation, “I love myself exactly as I am,” and I always feel better.
- Rely on your Top Ten List. If you have taken the time to create a list of values or ideals that guide your life (as Rubin recommends), it becomes easy to make these decisions while dropping the guilt we may feel. For example, one of my Top Ten Principles is “No more Mommy guilt!” So, when my son or daughter “needs me” during a particular time period that I have claimed for myself (like a well deserved bubble bath!), then I have no problem saying “not right now,” and I can release the guilt associated with saying “no.” You also can view Rubin’s Twelve Commandments (as she calls them) here.
- Adopt this simple, yet powerful life principle…
Each moment describes who you are and gives you the opportunity to decide if that’s who you want to be.
Having a principle like this in our Top Ten or Twelve Commandments gives us permission to take our goals in stride and focus on today and what we need today to make us happy.
The more I read the excerpt the more I giggle, because how else would we feel when we are so close to achieving a breakthrough? If making positive changes that create more happiness in our lives were easy then we wouldn’t be talking about self-improvement so much. In fact, it would be “no sweat” setting and achieving these happiness goals. Paradoxes like these, then, serve to help keep us on track, so that the “aha moments” are in the process itself, not in the achievement.
I can’t wait to share more excerpts of this FAB book and many others. I also look forward to hearing your perspective and celebrating your moments (“aha” and otherwise) with you.
If you would like to join my Relaxed Book Club, make sure to subscribe (right-hand column) to receive my blog entries, and add your comments so we can have a nice discussion! And, as you guessed it, The Happiness Project is off the shelf and in my hands this month!
In the spirit of inspiration and happiness,
Monique
Mala Beads, Bodhi Leaves, & Yogi Tea…just a few of my favorite things!
December 17, 2009
Here are a few more of my favorite things of 2009. You can follow the #best2009 Blog Challenge here: 
Dec. 15 – Best Packaging – I received beautiful Mala Prayer Beads from my mother. The beads were absolutely stunning, and making the gift all the more special was the unique hand-made bodhi leaf card the beads were packaged in. From the website… “The Bodhi leaf in Nepalese culture is believed to bring Patience and Enlightenment. The cards have been designed so as you open it, the Bodhi leaf comes forward, bringing the Patience and Enlightenment to you.” Nice touch, huh? See it for yourself, here.
Day 16 – Tea of the Year – I can’t just mention one! I have two favorites right now…Bedtime by Yogi, and Cranberry Pomegranate Green Tea by Lipton. I want to enjoy all of the benefits of Green Tea, but don’t appreciate the after taste of most green teas. However, this one by Lipton is delish and very affordable! And, there’s no better night cap and ritual for me than a hot cup of tea that gets me prepped for some good Zzzzs. You also can’t beat Yogi’s memorable affirmations with each tea bag. Tonight, mine says “Nature is a giver, a true friend and a sustainer.” Yes, indeed.
So yummy at bedtime!
Dec. 17 – Word or Phrase – For me, it would be this… “2009 is just the beginning!” We all go through moments, and some of those moments turn out to be years, where all of a sudden we hit a wall and need to make a shift, internally or otherwise. Something just has to give. Know what I mean? 2009 was the year that “gave” and allowed me and others close to me to make that needed shift. The stage has been set for a new beginning. It’s kind of nice feeling this way, especially as we close one year and begin a new one.
Dec. 18 – Shop – This one is too easy! My guilty pleasure this year was Sephora! This is easy to understand…right, ladies? My shopping adventures were nothing too dramatic, but I definitely allowed myself to a monthly treat. Here’s a tip for you…sign up for the VIP program and get some nice perks for being a good customer. 🙂
So, here you have it, more about me and my 2009. What would you like to share?
Monique
Love Thyself
November 30, 2009
I can’t believe that it has already been one year since I began my blog—Being En Pointe. It’s appropriate, I guess, that I stumbled upon this realization during Thanksgiving weekend in one of my most cherished locations—the Florida Keys. There is so much to be grateful for, and two of the many things that I have given thanks for this weekend include the opportunity to spend so much time in the Keys, and the meaningful “aha” moments Being En Pointe has created for me and for others.
Many people have asked me how I decide what to write about. And I can honestly say that I don’t have a process. If there were one, I guess I would call it “Inspired Blogging.” It’s almost like I notice that “it’s about that time” to write my blog again, and all of sudden (and I mean sudden!) a thought comes to me, or I read something that motivates me to write, or someone says something that kind of kicks me in the gut (in a good way), and there it begins.
I kind of like it this way, because it takes the pressure off of “having” to do something. I don’t blog because I have to. I truly do it because I want to. It heals me, and I know that it has helped to heal others who have read it as well. I am grateful for this gift and look forward to continuing it in 2010.
This month the process is no different. When I am surrounded by nature my inspiration just seems to be turned up a notch. My thoughts have been focused on gratitude and love for others this weekend. But, then, I listened to a seminar on my laptop while consumed by nature that turned my attention to loving myself. Selfish you may say? I say not.
To further confirm my desire to share this important skill with all of you (and practice it myself), my eyes gazed upon a book in my mother’s kitchen in Tavernier—Love Thyself: The Message from Water III. “Interesting,” I thought to myself. How crazy (or wonderful!) is it that I am thrown into the thought of self-love and here is this book staring at me that’s exactly about the topic. Gotta love it! I’m feelin’ it!
So I flip open the book and it so poignantly states: “The title of this book is Love Thyself. First you must shine with positive, high-spirited vibrations, and be full of love. In order to do that, I think it’s important to love, thank, and respect yourself. If that’s the case, then each of those vibrations will be sent out into the world and the cosmos, and the great symphony of that harmonic vibration will wrap our planet in waves of love that serve to cherish our Heaven-granted lives. This is the message from the water.”
Wow…I’m sold! I do realize that there is so much more to this book by Masaru Emoto that meets the eye, and so, I feel it is my responsibility to take the time to read it from cover to cover, and I am committed to doing so. But, I am so smitten with this very brief description that I set my eyes on and took in. In fact, the simple fact that I’ve been surrounded by one of the most beautiful bodies of water this weekend perfects this total experience for me. Maybe the water, coincidentally, has a message for me.
So, without getting to deep, I have one simple request for you. Love thyself…even if only for five minutes each day. How would your day change if you took only five minutes to give thanks to you and all you do? It seems we are constantly seeking the approval, love and gratitude of others that we may not get, so why don’t we just give it to ourselves? Why does loving ourselves have to be a bad thing, and why is it defined as arrogant to love and thank ourselves? Can’t this simple act just be a part of taking personal responsibility for ourselves and how we choose to feel? I am smiling right now as I imagine embracing myself with love. I feel all warm and gooey inside, just like the delicious chocolate chip cookies I baked for Thanksgiving dinner. I can get used to this feeling (and it is calorie free!).
The thought of taking personal responsibility for giving myself love; nourishing my soul, and being grateful for ME really makes me feel good. Unfortunately, we live in a highly critical world where we not only frequently judge others and their actions (or lack of), but we also are very self-critical. This is a learned behavior that is not too easy to curb. But things can be different, and it can start by being kinder to ourselves. Do you have five minutes for yourself? Let’s try to curb this nasty habit together. Let’s begin today.
Emoto describes this self-love in the form of energy—high, almost contagious vibrations which begin within us when we love and respect ourselves. How can we truly share this fullness of love with others when we don’t feel worthy of giving it to ourselves?
This holiday season, give yourself the very best gift you can—
- give yourself the love that you deserve for all that you do;
- for being the magnificent person that you are;
- for taking new steps every day, whether large or small;
- for making decisions, whether they are judged as good or bad;
- for simply living, breathing, and being you.
After all, there is only one YOU and that’s pretty darn unique!
Give it a try—a REAL College Try! Thank yourself and love yourself for five minutes each day (minimum!). Take the time to identify three things each day that you would like to thank yourself for and feel good about. And, please, don’t judge your actions, just love them. Tell me how taking this small step affects you and your energy. In fact, I’d love to hear what kind of high-energy love you begin to get in return. Remember, as Emoto alludes to in the passage above, like attracts like, and our love of ourselves will create a ripple effect all around us and touch those we cannot even see, hear or touch. That’s powerful. That’s love.
I am starting today! I hope you join me.
With love for myself (that’s right!!),
Monique
Illumined Life Leadership 