“Resist Your Genius,” Says the Lizard Brain
March 5, 2010
“At the age of four, you were an artist. And at seven, you were a poet. And by the time you were twelve, if you had a lemonade stand, you were an entrepreneur. Of course you can do something that matters. I guess I’m wondering if you want to.” –Seth Godin
I can’t seem to put down this book. It is intriguing and activating. It shows us why the organizational model of the past no longer works and why we must decide to be Linchpins in order to connect with our inner genius and artist (yes, our inner child) and become indispensable, despite the economic woes we are experiencing. However, as Godin clearly asks above, “Do you want to be indispensable?” It is not that you can’t—we all can. But, it is clearly a choice.
So what about this outdated organizational model? Why doesn’t it work?
According to Godin: “The system we grew up with is based on a simple formula: Do your job. Show up. Work hard. Listen to the boss. Stick it out. Be part of the system. You’ll be rewarded.” Sound familiar? The new system is different. It is one that creates leaders who live without a map. The new system “Requires a different attitude. It requires you to be a linchpin. Linchpins are the essential building blocks of tomorrow’s high-value organizations.”
But, again, it is clear that becoming a Linchpin is a choice. You must decide that you want to go against the grain and embrace (or find) your inner voice, your genius, your desire to be an ARTIST, to be REMARKABLE, and to be generous with your ideas and your self. Linchpins don’t have job titles or descriptions; they do what is necessary to get the desired results; they look for a true win-win… always. Linchpins “Leverage something internal, not external, to create a position of power and value.”
Are you ready to make that internal SHIFT to become indispensable?
If you answered “yes”, then you must shut off your lizard brain! Godin explains that our internal resistance (or lizard brain) prevents us from developing those skills which make us indispensable.
“The lizard brain is hungry, scared, angry, and horny. The lizard brain will fight (to the death) if it has to, but would rather run away. It likes a vendetta and has no trouble getting angry. The lizard brain cares what everyone else thinks, because status in the tribe is essential to its survival. A squirrel runs around looking for nuts, hiding from foxes, listening for predators, and watching for other squirrels. The squirrel does this because that’s all it can do. All the squirrel has a lizard brain.”
To some extent, our lizard brain has been developed by the “old system,” which, again, told us that we must find any job, shut up and smile, don’t do anything other than what you are paid to do, fight for your life, and forget the artist inside! The lizard brain is a learned behavior we need to break to become a Linchpin.
So while I was reading Linchpin I couldn’t help but find a correlation to one of the episodes of Spongebob Squarepants (that’s right!). My children love Spongebob and I have no choice but to sit with them and become engrossed in it. So, in this particular scene, the one-inch (with a powerful voice) Plankton takes over Spongebob’s brain and is forcing him to walk against his will (akin to a Factory manager treating his employees like machines) to the Krusty Krab to grab a Krabby Patty so Plankton can ID the Patty’s secret recipe.
But, Spongebob, who is the very best at what he does (Krabby Patty fry cook) and is Mr. Krab’s most dedicated employee, refuses to be controlled and entices Plankton out of his brain with the simply irresistible description and smell of the Krabby Patty.
Plankton (the weak old system) will never win. Spongebob’s love for his work, for his ART (the Krabby Patty) always will win.
Keep watching episodes of Spongebob and you’ll find that he has made himself indispensable. He doesn’t believe in mediocrity, is committed to his purpose and passion, and in Bikini Bottom (where he lives), Spongebob is a Linchpin. In his particular role he is REMARKABLE. He is talked about and his product is wanted. He’s not just a fry cook, he is an artist.
What would make you impossibly good at your job?
So let’s make this relevant right now. Answer the question above and decide to take one step this week to shrink our lizard brain tendencies and increase our linchpin attributes. Take action to tap our inner genius and show the world more of who we truly are.
Adios lizard brain…hello inner child….hello Artist!
You know, I think I may change my job title to ARTIST! The lizard brains may resist….but we know why.
Have a genius week,
Monique
My Relaxed Book Club will discuss selections from books I feel help high-achieving professionals continue to develop themselves and work on their personal leadership leading to more fulfilled, balanced and successful lives and careers.
Pursue a Passion. Boost Your Happiness.
February 26, 2010
“The least strained and most natural ways of the soul are the most beautiful; the best occupations are the least forced.” – Michel de Montaigne
Happiness is such a great topic to discuss don’t you think? The Happiness Project has truly been a fun book to read. Not only have I learned a lot about the science behind happiness, but it was inspiring to follow someone along their 12-month journey to become happier; someone who has a lot of the same challenges many of us do—being authentic, having meaningful relationships, getting the most out of and growing in your career, and being a fantastic, loving mother, among many other goals. You don’t feel so alone on your journey when others are right there with you. It’s comforting.
There are so many reflection points for me in this book that I can blog about it forever, but in the spirit of reading and sharing with you many wonderful books, I will choose to end my happiness observations by chatting about passion. Gretchen Rubin’s theme for the month of September is “Pursue a Passion.” According to Rubin, “Happiness research predicts that making time for passion and treating it as a real priority instead of an ‘extra’ to be fitted in at a free moment (which many people practically never have) will bring a tremendous happiness boost.”
Would you say the same is true for you? It is for me. I can share many examples, but a fresh one is reading. Reading is a passion of mine, and through my blog and my Relaxed Book Club (for personal development), reading has become one of my top priorities for 2010.
Rubin challenged herself to write a fifty-thousand-word novel in thirty days, which amounts to 1,667 words a day. Yikes! Well, for her it was so thrilling. Rubin shared: “Writing a novel provided the ‘atmosphere of growth’ that, I was becoming more and more convinced, was essential to happiness; I’d included this element in my First Splendid Truth, but it was even more significant than I’d initially understood. The satisfaction gained from the achievement of a large undertaking is one of the most substantial that life affords.”
What passion is just an “extra” in your life right now that you can make a priority to give you a happiness boost?
So was Rubin’s Happiness Project successful? She believes it was. I will let you enjoy the read as I did and check out her happy ending, but I will share that because she was able to work on the kinds of things she truly enjoys versus those things which are more forced, she really loved working on her goals for September. She also gives much of the credit for her success to her Resolution Chart, which was her daily “Bible” and kept her on track. If you’d like to see a copy of Rubin’s Resolution Chart you can send her an email to: grubin@gretchenrubin.com. Just type “Resolution Chart” in the subject line.
So, care to continue with me on my journey? March’s selection for my Relaxed Book Club is Linchpin: Are you Indispensable? by Seth Godin. In his new book, Godin examines how a person becomes indispensable. It is a person within an organization who acts as an artist, puts his/her soul and passion into the work; it is “emotional work.” Sounds amazing….I can’t wait to begin (today!) and I hope you will join me.
My Relaxed Book Club will discuss selections from books I feel help high-achieving professionals continue to develop themselves and work on their personal leadership leading to more fulfilled, balanced and successful lives and careers.
Happy Trails, my friends!
Monique
Think Big & Make Magic.
February 15, 2010
If this is your first time visiting my blog, you’ll notice that I’m currently blogging about some great books—books that inspire and teach us how to improve our lives in many ways. This month we’re talking about Happiness. Enjoy….
Making time for friends is such a huge part of my life. I realized long ago how connecting with my very close friends (even in small ways, like a weekly email or a Facebook post) and being open to new friendships brings me so much joy. This is why I love Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project goals for June, which include remembering birthdays, being generous, showing up, not gossiping, and making new friends. According to Rubin’s research the most meaningful contributor to happiness is having strong social bonds.
Taking this further, Rubin’s research showed that being generous (or providing support to others) strengthens the bonds of friendship and simply, makes us feel good. However, since she couldn’t (or didn’t want to) add more tasks to her day, whether they were the feel good type or not, she did realize that helping people think big and bringing people together were a few of the ways that she demonstrated generosity. These resonate very strongly with me, and when I explored my own “generous” actions, the same seemed to be true for me. I always seek creative/idea-building environments and thrive in them. And, as a professional development guru, I simply LOVE brainstorming with colleagues, friends, and clients and watching them follow through on their magnificent, happiness-creating goals. The same goes with introducing one person to another, who together can create magic in some way. In business, we call them “referrals,” although now I’d rather call them “gifts.” When I do these things well, I definitely feel a surge of happy energy.
Here’s Rubin in her own words:
“I’d had a wonderful experience helping people think big myself. After Eliza started kindergarten, her nursery school arranged a reunion for all the children who had ‘graduated.’ While the children played with their former classmates, the nursery school directors, Nancy and Ellen, led a parent discussion about the kindergarten transition. As always, their insights were extremely helpful. When I stood up to leave I thought, ‘These two should write a book.’ I was immediately convinced that this was the greatest idea ever. I suggested it to them on the spot…I put them in touch with my agent…In a flash they had a book contract, and now Nancy Schulman and Ellen Birnbaum’s Practical Wisdom for Parents: Demystifying the Preschool Years is on the shelves. Knowing that I played a small role in their achievement made me intensely happy.”
How cool is that? To be able to help them think big and make one of their dreams come true…I’ll take that kind of happiness any day.
How do you help others think big?
What people can you bring together to create make some magic?
So, yes, as Rubin understood about herself during her Happiness Project, there are so many ways we can be generous, but they don’t always have to take up too much time or money or make us go out of our way. We can identify ways of being generous that are genuinely a part of who we are and what we already do.
Here’s a take-away…look for those “generous acts” in your life that are already present that you can turn up a notch to create more happiness in your life.
Let me know what you find.
-Monique
“Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.” –Buddha
My Relaxed Book Club will discuss selections from books I feel help high-achieving professionals continue to develop themselves and work on their personal leadership leading to more fulfilled, balanced and successful lives and careers.
Suspending Judgment for Happiness Sake
February 8, 2010
This month I’m blogging about Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project. I’m really enjoying her book, mostly because of the way she really puts herself out there. Connecting with her through her very human experiences is easy to do. I love this excerpt in particular, because it touches upon several things—working on ourselves and not others, learning how to be in a state of non-judgment (a trait of highly successful people), and not sweating the small stuff.
Here it is…
I had come to understand one critical fact about my happiness project: I couldn’t change anyone else. As tempting as it was to try, I couldn’t lighten the atmosphere of our marriage by bullying Jaime into changing his ways. I could work only on myself. For inspiration, I turned to the twelfth of my Twelve Commandments: ‘There is only love.’
A friend of mine was the source of that commandment. She came up with the phrase when she was considering taking a high-pressure job where she’d be working for a notoriously difficult person. The person handling the process told her, ‘I’m going to be honest with you. John Doe is very effective, but he’s an extremely tough guy to work for. Think hard about whether you want this job.’ My friend really wanted the job, so she decided, ‘there is only love.’ From that moment on, she refused to think critical thoughts about John Doe; she never complained about him behind his back; she wouldn’t even listen to other people criticize him. ‘Don’t your coworkers think you’re a goody-goody?’ I asked. ‘Oh, no’ she said. ‘They all wish they could do the same thing, too. He drives them crazy, but I can honestly say that I like John.
If my friend could do that for her boss, why couldn’t I do it for Jaime? Deep down, I had only love for Jaime—but I was allowing too many petty issues to get in the way. I wasn’t living up to my own standards of behavior, and then, because I felt guilty when I behaved badly, I behaved even worst.
From reading the passage you can assume that this “John Doe” truly is a difficult person, so what exactly did Rubin’s friend do to allow her to totally suspend judgment of her boss? Why couldn’t her co-workers do the same? I’d really love to know! In fact, if I knew her I would ask her:
- “Why was it okay for you to take a position working for someone you knew was difficult?”
- “What made it okay?”
- “What are you doing, exactly, that others are not?”
- “How are you able to completely ignore John Doe’s behavior and negative actions?”
- “What have you learned about him that others have not taken the time to learn? How much of a difference has this made to your relationship?”
Her mantra, “There is only love,” definitely seemed to have worked. If you repeated this mantra in your head over and over in the moment someone was upsetting you or pushing your buttons, do you see how it could defuse your anger or aggression? For some people, especially in corporate environments, embracing others with “love” may seem a little mushy. I get it. But, if you bring compassion to the situation (instead of love), perhaps the results would be the same. What do you think?
If you continue to read The Happiness Project you will see how well this mantra, or commandment, works for Rubin. In fact, she decides that giving proofs of love will bring her loads of happiness. So, in closing, I’d like to share a quote by Pierre Reverdy, as Rubin did later in the book, as well as one of my daily inspiration reads from the Daily Kabbalah, which suits this discussion well:
“There is no love; there are only proofs of love. Whatever love I might feel in my heart, others will see only my action.” – Pierre Reverdy.
“When we apply resistance in a situation and our opponent throws a bit of time into the space between resistance and reward, the spiritual Light we generate might not shine immediately. This creates the illusion that goodness doesn’t pay. Today, don’t seek an immediate result from your actions. Develop patience. Build your certainty.”—Daily Kabbalah
Give only proofs of love and suspend judgment: a great recipe for happiness, I believe.
Have a great week. Happy reading.
Monique
My Relaxed Book Club will discuss selections from books I feel help high-achieving professionals continue to develop themselves and work on their personal leadership,leading to more fulfilled, balanced and successful lives and careers.
Be Inspired. Be Happy.
February 1, 2010
During this first year of blogging I’ve written about ways that we can improve ourselves and our lives—productivity, personal responsibility, living your vision, living in the moment, shifting out of low and negative energies, accessing your intuition, and more. Yet when I think about the underlying purpose of why and what I write, it always comes down to HAPPINESS…finding it for myself and helping others fill their spirits with it. When I am happy I am a better person. I am energized, helpful, grateful, inspired, ready to take action, ready to be of service. Everything just seems to flow when we are happy. Isn’t genuine happiness what we are really after?
So when I learned of Gretchen Rubin’s new book The Happiness Project I couldn’t resist and pre-ordered it. The book is Rubin’s year-long “project” to learn everything there is to know about the science of happiness as well as her personal journey to achieve greater happiness and fulfillment. It’s an easy and fun read, and very insightful.
So many of her lessons learned rang true for me and she posed questions, I feel, that we should all be asking of ourselves. Then, I remembered how many times friends and colleagues asked me “How do you know what to write about? What inspires you?” And it became crystal clear to me that what I read daily is a huge source of inspiration for me. It could be anything—a book, a magazine article, a prayer, or a quote. My process is always as follows…read…reflect…learn…take action…feel inspired…inspire others.
And then I thought, “Wouldn’t it be great to share my process with other ‘students’ (like me), the books I am reading and applying to my life, and create a forum where we can share with each other and continue the process of reflecting, learning, taking action and feeling inspired?” I like it, and I’m taking action!
In launching this new idea (a part of my happiness project!) I’m going to choose an excerpt from The Happiness Project to get started. In fact, I will share quite a bit from Rubin’s book during the month of February—so it may feel like a “blog book club”. If you have ever wanted to take part in a book club, but perhaps a more relaxed version, here’s your chance! I hope you will participate with me.
So, in this first excerpt Rubin shares,
“It was time to expect more of myself. Yet as I thought about happiness, I kept running up against paradoxes. I wanted to change myself but accept myself. I wanted to take myself less seriously—and also more seriously. I wanted to use my time well, but I also wanted to wander, to play, to read at whim. I wanted to think about myself so I could forget myself. I was always on the edge of agitation; I wanted to let go of envy and anxiety about the future, yet keep my energy and ambition…Was I searching for spiritual growth and a life more dedicated to transcendent principles—or was my happiness project just an attempt to extend my driven, perfectionist ways to every aspect of my life?”
Wow! This hit me right in the gut. “This is me,” I told myself. In fact, the last line really made me question… “When is enough…enough?” Maybe this rings true for you as well. And perhaps even more so if you consider yourself a high achiever or overachiever as I have practically all my life. And in my daily quest to feel fulfilled and “happy” these paradoxes always show up.
So what’s one of my paradox’s you may be asking? I would say that worrying about tomorrow versus living in the moment is one I struggle with, but enjoy working on. It truly is a work in progress, but I can say that the more I am conscious of my tendencies and practice being in the moment, the happier I feel. A second example would be getting the 7 to 8 hours of sleep I need versus being a member of the 5:30 am “productivity club.” These two, believe me, are only a few of the paradoxes I experience daily. Do you have any that you would like to share?
So how do you manage these paradoxes in your quest for productivity, improvement, growth, and happiness? Well, here are four tips which work for me as well as for many of the magnificent high achievers I have the pleasure of coaching.
- Understand that many of the things we feel we “must” do are fear based. The majority of our “must do’s” and “should have’s” are a result of learned behavior. Do these sound familiar? — “If you don’t fight for it, you won’t get it”, or “You must work long, hard hours to make it to the top.” Claiming these beliefs as false is difficult, but can be eased greatly when we confront and work with our limiting beliefs and gremlins (those little voices in our head that tell us that we can’t do something or that we are not good enough). When we challenge these, we reduce the paradoxes that may prevent us from pushing forward.
- Breathe and give yourself positive self-talk in the moment. For example, when my daughter needs my full attention, while I feel that I must keep working, I literally stop what I am doing, take a deep breath and ask myself, “How true is it that my work will suffer if I don’t finish what I am doing in this very instant?” My answer is always, “not very true!” You also can ask yourself, “What is most important in this moment and why?” You will find your own answers. Your positive self-talk can take the form of an affirmation as well. When I am hit with the paradox of “I want to exercise more and I also want to rest more,” which drives to the heart of my self-esteem if I fail, I use this affirmation, “I love myself exactly as I am,” and I always feel better.
- Rely on your Top Ten List. If you have taken the time to create a list of values or ideals that guide your life (as Rubin recommends), it becomes easy to make these decisions while dropping the guilt we may feel. For example, one of my Top Ten Principles is “No more Mommy guilt!” So, when my son or daughter “needs me” during a particular time period that I have claimed for myself (like a well deserved bubble bath!), then I have no problem saying “not right now,” and I can release the guilt associated with saying “no.” You also can view Rubin’s Twelve Commandments (as she calls them) here.
- Adopt this simple, yet powerful life principle…
Each moment describes who you are and gives you the opportunity to decide if that’s who you want to be.
Having a principle like this in our Top Ten or Twelve Commandments gives us permission to take our goals in stride and focus on today and what we need today to make us happy.
The more I read the excerpt the more I giggle, because how else would we feel when we are so close to achieving a breakthrough? If making positive changes that create more happiness in our lives were easy then we wouldn’t be talking about self-improvement so much. In fact, it would be “no sweat” setting and achieving these happiness goals. Paradoxes like these, then, serve to help keep us on track, so that the “aha moments” are in the process itself, not in the achievement.
I can’t wait to share more excerpts of this FAB book and many others. I also look forward to hearing your perspective and celebrating your moments (“aha” and otherwise) with you.
If you would like to join my Relaxed Book Club, make sure to subscribe (right-hand column) to receive my blog entries, and add your comments so we can have a nice discussion! And, as you guessed it, The Happiness Project is off the shelf and in my hands this month!
In the spirit of inspiration and happiness,
Monique
Wrapping Up 2009
January 1, 2010
2009 was bright!
Participating in the #best2009 Blogging Challenge has been an easy and delightful way of remembering the small and simple things of 2009 that have made it special for me. I appreciate the Challenge, as I honestly don’t think I would have given myself the time to reflect on the year appropriately, thank it, and wrap it up like a nice gift! In fact, today, the first day of 2010, the visualization of me wrapping up my year, giving it away, and setting aside a nice, large box to fill for 2010 is my gift to myself.
So, I shall begin my New Year, by completing the Challenge and remembering a few more moments and people who helped to make my year.
Dec. 19 – Car Ride – Just yesterday, Dec. 31, 2009, my children and I dropped off daddy at a friend’s house and took the long way home…windows open, music kicking, and enjoying the beautiful homes and nurturing oak trees. This has always been a pastime for our family. In fact, it’s one of the ways we incorporate Visioning into our lives…imagining the perfect home for us and claiming it ours!
During the drive, Celine Dion’s “Taking Changes” inspired me further as I not only envisioned our future, but what this next year would hold for us. “What do you say to taking chances, what do say to jumping off the edge, never knowing if there is solid ground below, or a hand to hold, or hell to pay. But, what do you say?” I say go for it!
The ride and the song gave me the right energy to begin 2010. And, I believe my daughter felt the same. When we arrived home, she said, “Mommy, let’s go on another ride!” Anytime, baby.
Dec. 20 – New Person – Melissa Izquierdo is not a stranger to me. She has been working in our office for many years. But, this year, she was “gifted” to me, so to speak, as my right hand in the office. All I can say is what a gift she is, indeed! Life and work become so much more pleasurable when you have a partner by your side who cares about the quality of our work, and enjoys learning and growing along the way! She is a true professional, a shining star, and I’m very grateful for her. Thanks for all you do, Mely!
Mely
Dec. 23 – Web Tool – Hands down, the iPhone!! Need I say more? 🙂 Those of you who are iPhone users get me. You can read one of my recent blogs that gives you a glimpse as to how I use it to be productive.
Dec. 26 – Aha Moment – This year was about self-discovery for me. I immersed myself in books, concepts, skills, and more so that I could reinvent myself. Why? It was time. The gift in the process was understanding that while it is essential to create a powerful vision for your life and move toward it with action and passion, your “purpose” lies in living your vision in the moment…finding joy in everything that you do and being grateful for all of the joys and lessons life brings. “Therefore, I AM, and I AM NOW. Ahhh!”
Dec. 29 – Biggest Belly Laugh – Gosh, I’ve had a lot of laughs this year and I am grateful for all of those moments, because, as we know, laughter adds more years to our lives! One that made me laugh so hard that I cried was watching my son (11) breakout into an uninhibited hip-hop dance. It was so genuine, and so filled with passion, and it was so good, too! We were all outside enjoying a cool night and a bonfire, playing music, when an old 80’s tune came on that just lit a spark in him. I wish I had a video camera to capture the moment. Regardless, it is imprinted in my heart forever.
I think that will do it for this Challenge, although there are so many more moments, people, experiences and things I will cherish about this past year. Thanks for the memories, 2009.! I’m wrapping you up and gifting you back to the universe.
I’d like to close with this great quote that inspired me today from Martha Beck:
“By creating plans and acting on them you create an energy zone of clarity and power. That alone can change your life.”
What plans, or thoughts of 2010 are revving you up? I’d love to hear from you.
Go create some great plans for 2010 that will energize you and propel you forward.
My best wishes to you and yours for a magnificent and miraculous year.
Monique
Related Posts: Set an Intention for the New Year, Your Top 10.
Mala Beads, Bodhi Leaves, & Yogi Tea…just a few of my favorite things!
December 17, 2009
Here are a few more of my favorite things of 2009. You can follow the #best2009 Blog Challenge here: 
Dec. 15 – Best Packaging – I received beautiful Mala Prayer Beads from my mother. The beads were absolutely stunning, and making the gift all the more special was the unique hand-made bodhi leaf card the beads were packaged in. From the website… “The Bodhi leaf in Nepalese culture is believed to bring Patience and Enlightenment. The cards have been designed so as you open it, the Bodhi leaf comes forward, bringing the Patience and Enlightenment to you.” Nice touch, huh? See it for yourself, here.
Day 16 – Tea of the Year – I can’t just mention one! I have two favorites right now…Bedtime by Yogi, and Cranberry Pomegranate Green Tea by Lipton. I want to enjoy all of the benefits of Green Tea, but don’t appreciate the after taste of most green teas. However, this one by Lipton is delish and very affordable! And, there’s no better night cap and ritual for me than a hot cup of tea that gets me prepped for some good Zzzzs. You also can’t beat Yogi’s memorable affirmations with each tea bag. Tonight, mine says “Nature is a giver, a true friend and a sustainer.” Yes, indeed.
So yummy at bedtime!
Dec. 17 – Word or Phrase – For me, it would be this… “2009 is just the beginning!” We all go through moments, and some of those moments turn out to be years, where all of a sudden we hit a wall and need to make a shift, internally or otherwise. Something just has to give. Know what I mean? 2009 was the year that “gave” and allowed me and others close to me to make that needed shift. The stage has been set for a new beginning. It’s kind of nice feeling this way, especially as we close one year and begin a new one.
Dec. 18 – Shop – This one is too easy! My guilty pleasure this year was Sephora! This is easy to understand…right, ladies? My shopping adventures were nothing too dramatic, but I definitely allowed myself to a monthly treat. Here’s a tip for you…sign up for the VIP program and get some nice perks for being a good customer. 🙂
So, here you have it, more about me and my 2009. What would you like to share?
Monique
#best2009 – Breathe. Play. Dance.
December 14, 2009
This is entry #2 for the Best of 2009 Blog Challenge. Click on the link image above to read more about it and participate, or just check out my previous blog for a brief explanation. Welcome back!
Dec. 11 – The Best Place – Home sweet home! I am a home body! I just love lounging at home, reading, playing with my children, and taking “sun and nature breaks” in my back yard. There’s no place I’d rather be.
My breathing space.
Dec. 13 – What’s the best change you made to the place you live? – Allow for open spaces. It’s been difficult “being okay” with not filling every space with furniture. I’ve come to appreciate seeing our living room become “the kids playroom”, because it honors exactly where we are in our lives.
My daughter playing in HER SPACE.
Dec. 14 – When did you get your best rush of the year? Starting to dance again! A co-worker and I took up a ballet class “for exercise”, but it’s been so much more for me. Dancing has always been my inspiration, and so to have it in my life again has definitely provided me with a much-needed “rush”.
My dancing feet.
What little bits and pieces of 2009 have you appreciated? I’d love to hear from you.
…’til we meet again…
Monique
Blog Challenge! #best09
December 11, 2009
Check this out! What a great way to appreciate what precious and simple gifts 2009 has brought us all. As a happy blogger I’m deciding to participate with many others in this challenge, share in others’ great ’09 moments, and hopefully, get some great tips along the way.
The idea is to micro blog about the topic of the day (25 topics in December). I’m not starting on time, and so I’m just choosing to pick and choose some memorable topics and moments which apply to me and that I wish to share. So, you’ll hear from me a bit this December! Hope you don’t mind. 🙂
I particularly like a few of the topics I’ve missed, so I will begin with them in order to catch up. And away we go!
Dec. 1 – Trip – My best trip this year was to Chicago with my Junior High School girlfriends (Las Sucias….Lina, Kiki, Ody, Anne, Rosie and Audra). We have been taking trips each year for nine years. This was my first time in Chicago, and I absolutely fell in love with the city and the people. My favorite moment was taking the SPEED Architectural Tour and getting super soaked. You know when you laugh so hard you think you’re going to pee??? It was one of those moments. Nice. Thanks for a wonderful time, Chicago! But, mostly, I can be anywhere with my “girls” and be perfectly content. I love you, Ladies!! XXXOOO
Out and About in CHI!
Dec. 4 – Book – Hands down, the best book I’ve read this year is Energy Leadership by Bruce D Schneider. Yes, Bruce, I’m giving you a plug!! I love Bruce, iPEC (Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching), and I can honestly say that reading this book solidified my desire to become a Professional Leadership Coach, specializing in the study of energy. This book showed me exactly how a company could be turned around using the Energy Leadership Index and Energy Leadership Coaching. Very exciting stuff that gets me going!!
Dec. 5 – Night Out – OMG! I was reborn the night I was invited to attend a friend’s party at a hole in the wall bar just a few blocks away from my house (good thing for those very late nights!). I am a natural-born performer (former dancer and kick but karaoke singer!), so when I saw the encyclopedia-sized Karaoke book in the 7 Seas Bar, I about lost it. I had a blast belting out my favorite tunes with my friends, letting loose, and hanging out with the most random people I’ve ever met. Fun night. Now… a monthly tradition.
Dec. 6 – Workshop or Conference – Absolutely my iPEC coaching program weekend trainings in Tampa, FL with my fellow coaches. You all ROCK! Much love, always.
Dec. 8 – Moment of Peace – Ok…don’t laugh…but, sometimes, the only place I can be still and meditate in the dark for 10 or so minutes is my bathroom! Sad, but true. Every morning after my shower, this is my “get my morning off on the right foot” ritual. Regardless of the location, it shall continue for my sanity!
Dec. 9 – Challenge – Something that really made me grow this year was taking a huge leap of faith, together with my husband, and launching our new venture http://scubanation.com. Yes, the unknown can be risky and scary, but also can be down right exciting! Pursue your passion and success shall follow.
Celebrating at the ScubaNation.com Launch Party
Whew! I think I’m caught up now. I can’t promise I will blog each day this month, but I will be back soon to continue my #best09!
Enjoy and celebrate the best of your year!
Monique
Love Thyself
November 30, 2009
I can’t believe that it has already been one year since I began my blog—Being En Pointe. It’s appropriate, I guess, that I stumbled upon this realization during Thanksgiving weekend in one of my most cherished locations—the Florida Keys. There is so much to be grateful for, and two of the many things that I have given thanks for this weekend include the opportunity to spend so much time in the Keys, and the meaningful “aha” moments Being En Pointe has created for me and for others.
Many people have asked me how I decide what to write about. And I can honestly say that I don’t have a process. If there were one, I guess I would call it “Inspired Blogging.” It’s almost like I notice that “it’s about that time” to write my blog again, and all of sudden (and I mean sudden!) a thought comes to me, or I read something that motivates me to write, or someone says something that kind of kicks me in the gut (in a good way), and there it begins.
I kind of like it this way, because it takes the pressure off of “having” to do something. I don’t blog because I have to. I truly do it because I want to. It heals me, and I know that it has helped to heal others who have read it as well. I am grateful for this gift and look forward to continuing it in 2010.
This month the process is no different. When I am surrounded by nature my inspiration just seems to be turned up a notch. My thoughts have been focused on gratitude and love for others this weekend. But, then, I listened to a seminar on my laptop while consumed by nature that turned my attention to loving myself. Selfish you may say? I say not.
To further confirm my desire to share this important skill with all of you (and practice it myself), my eyes gazed upon a book in my mother’s kitchen in Tavernier—Love Thyself: The Message from Water III. “Interesting,” I thought to myself. How crazy (or wonderful!) is it that I am thrown into the thought of self-love and here is this book staring at me that’s exactly about the topic. Gotta love it! I’m feelin’ it!
So I flip open the book and it so poignantly states: “The title of this book is Love Thyself. First you must shine with positive, high-spirited vibrations, and be full of love. In order to do that, I think it’s important to love, thank, and respect yourself. If that’s the case, then each of those vibrations will be sent out into the world and the cosmos, and the great symphony of that harmonic vibration will wrap our planet in waves of love that serve to cherish our Heaven-granted lives. This is the message from the water.”
Wow…I’m sold! I do realize that there is so much more to this book by Masaru Emoto that meets the eye, and so, I feel it is my responsibility to take the time to read it from cover to cover, and I am committed to doing so. But, I am so smitten with this very brief description that I set my eyes on and took in. In fact, the simple fact that I’ve been surrounded by one of the most beautiful bodies of water this weekend perfects this total experience for me. Maybe the water, coincidentally, has a message for me.
So, without getting to deep, I have one simple request for you. Love thyself…even if only for five minutes each day. How would your day change if you took only five minutes to give thanks to you and all you do? It seems we are constantly seeking the approval, love and gratitude of others that we may not get, so why don’t we just give it to ourselves? Why does loving ourselves have to be a bad thing, and why is it defined as arrogant to love and thank ourselves? Can’t this simple act just be a part of taking personal responsibility for ourselves and how we choose to feel? I am smiling right now as I imagine embracing myself with love. I feel all warm and gooey inside, just like the delicious chocolate chip cookies I baked for Thanksgiving dinner. I can get used to this feeling (and it is calorie free!).
The thought of taking personal responsibility for giving myself love; nourishing my soul, and being grateful for ME really makes me feel good. Unfortunately, we live in a highly critical world where we not only frequently judge others and their actions (or lack of), but we also are very self-critical. This is a learned behavior that is not too easy to curb. But things can be different, and it can start by being kinder to ourselves. Do you have five minutes for yourself? Let’s try to curb this nasty habit together. Let’s begin today.
Emoto describes this self-love in the form of energy—high, almost contagious vibrations which begin within us when we love and respect ourselves. How can we truly share this fullness of love with others when we don’t feel worthy of giving it to ourselves?
This holiday season, give yourself the very best gift you can—
- give yourself the love that you deserve for all that you do;
- for being the magnificent person that you are;
- for taking new steps every day, whether large or small;
- for making decisions, whether they are judged as good or bad;
- for simply living, breathing, and being you.
After all, there is only one YOU and that’s pretty darn unique!
Give it a try—a REAL College Try! Thank yourself and love yourself for five minutes each day (minimum!). Take the time to identify three things each day that you would like to thank yourself for and feel good about. And, please, don’t judge your actions, just love them. Tell me how taking this small step affects you and your energy. In fact, I’d love to hear what kind of high-energy love you begin to get in return. Remember, as Emoto alludes to in the passage above, like attracts like, and our love of ourselves will create a ripple effect all around us and touch those we cannot even see, hear or touch. That’s powerful. That’s love.
I am starting today! I hope you join me.
With love for myself (that’s right!!),
Monique
Illumined Life Leadership 