Power to Choose
April 23, 2012
I’ve had the pleasure recently of addressing many college students and professionals about the direct link between our energy and how happy, balanced and successful we feel in our lives. This concept of Energy Leadership places the responsibility of our thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and ultimately, our life’s outcomes, in our hands. It teaches us that despite what we may be experiencing, or who/what we are surrounded by, we have the power to lead our lives in a way that creates everything we want more of…great relationships, productivity, results, energy and enthusiasm, feelings of success in all areas of our life, health, wellness, balance, and more.
However, the question that I have been getting most is, “How can I manage all of the negativity and conflicted individuals around me? How do I not let it affect me?” Great question, and a great exercise in leading our energy.
I read a passage just a few days ago which nicely addresses this exact question. It said:
Negativity will bring us down if we stay around it long enough. We don’t fully grasp that being around destructive people will affect us, seep into us, and eventually pull us down. That’s why choosing our environment is so important. In truth, the only free will we have is choosing our environment, because once we are in it, it determines how we grow. It is similar to wheat which is planted in the ground. The potential is not realized without the right soil, rain and sunlight which make up the environment…once man has chosen his environment, he is in its hands, like clay in the hands of a potter. ” –Yehuda Berg.
Wise message, indeed. But, how can we fix an environment which we cannot leave in that moment (or choose not to leave)? Or, how can we help to bring about change in others knowing that in the end they must change themselves?
I’d like to suggest this process which allows us to influence change within our own power, raising our positive energetic vibrations along the way. It’s all about CHOICE.
- Remain a victim to it.
This option is always a choice, but one which will continue to give you feelings of loss of control, powerlessness, grief, anger, etc. - Avoid the conflict, challenge or individuals.
Get out of the situation. Limit your involvement or time spent with the individuals. You can consciously and in an empowered way choose not to get involved in certain conversations or with certain people. If you don’t like smoke, don’t sit in the smoking section! - Change or leave the situation.
Do what you can to intervene to bring about a resolution, or offer a positive perspective to the conversation or situation. If you don’t like the music being played, suggest a new station! Or, change the channel yourself! Sometimes circumstances make it so that we cannot leave certain environments. If over time, you can’t effect change or make it better for yourself, leaving may be the only answer. It may be time to consider making the changes necessary that will allow you to exit. - Alter your perspective of the experience.
Look at the situation differently and your experience of it will change. Use techniques like changing your understanding of the significance of the situation (how urgent is this, really?), becoming curious instead of furious, visualizing yourself in a different location–one that brings you peace (like a mountain top!), understanding why the person may be doing what he or she is doing, or bringing compassion into the situation instead of judgement. - Accept it.
Accepting a situation as it is instead of fighting it. Consider saying to yourself, “So what? In the bigger scheme in life, does this problem really and truly matter?” Simply don’t assign so much value to the situation or the person. You can choose to be in the moment and see the potential learning opportunity in that moment [for you or for the other(s)]. By releasing the situation, we also release the energy of it!
We have the power to choose how we live, work, play and feel. Certainly, in our lives we are confronted with situations where we feel powerless and unable to make a change, or leave. However, we do have the power to choose how we feel about these situations, people, changes, etc. We have quite a bit of power at our disposal, we simply need the courage to access it and make those tough decisions.
If you feel you are in a negative situation currently, or are in the company of negative individuals who you feel drain you of your energy, consider the above process and answer these questions to help you influence change and to ultimately feel better and in more control:
- Do I feel like I am powerless in this situation, or a victim to this person?
- How can I “change the channel” or intervene to create a more solution-oriented environment?
- How might I alter my perspective of this issue or person?
- If I simply accepted the situation for what it is and/who the person is, how might that help me release the negativity I’m feeling?
- What would be my ultimate outcome and what are the first steps I can take to achieve that outcome?
And, remember, small changes in actions and perceptions create HUGE shifts in our energy and in how we feel.
Finally, consider The Optimists Creed as an anchor for you today and in those tough moments:
Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation — some fact of my life– unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Namaste,
Monique
Love Your Face. Love Yourself.
February 10, 2012
In the latest issue of O Magazine, Oprah shares:
“I believe that each of us has an essence, a quality at the very core of our being that makes us who we are. It’s what guides our thoughts, our feelings, our tastes. It’s what sets us apart from everyone else. And I believe that finding ways to express that essence is one of the greatest joys in life.”
What if I could share with you a way that you can pinpoint this “essence” — yours and that of the special people in your life?
What if you could understand someone deeply simply by looking at their face?
If you are intrigued, then you’re reading the right post! In fact, I was intrigued about a year ago when I met Jean Haner, author of The Wisdom of Your Face and The Wisdom of Your Child’s Face. You see as a mother I always longed to confirm what I thought I knew about my children that no teacher could come to understand. As early as pre-k our children are already being labeled and treated a certain way–many times in ways that drown their curiosity, joy, and intelligence. Their true nature–what they are excited to share with the world– can be interpreted as something bad that must be hidden or fixed.
Jean opened my eyes to an incredible science that validates who we are to are very core and helps us to understand our strengths, struggles, and purpose in our lifetime. I’m thrilled to both have her as a mentor and to be her student.
The Wisdom of Your Face speaks to an ancient branch of Chinese medicine which teaches that we were born with a unique blueprint that is ours alone, and that this inner architecture is reflected in our outer design–the features of our face. This science provides us with an incredible tool. With this tool we can breathe easier, look in the mirror and say, “I’m so proud to be me….I love my face!!”
The link above to Jean’s website provides A LOT of research and information that you’ll love to read to learn more. Jean also offers workshops all over the country.
I’m happy to be interning with Jean in her practitioner program. As part of this process I will be conducting both mini-readings and in-depth case studies.
During a full-length consultation (60-90 minutes) you also may bring photos of a loved one or colleague to be read as well, as time allows.
Note: Children can be “read” but the consultation will be with the parent(s) using photos.
If you would like to learn more about these readings, or if you’d like to recommend someone who may be interested, please complete the form below and/or forward along this post. I’m seeking 10 case study participants between now and September.
I can share with you that this knowledge and practice has allowed me to better understand myself, others who I interact with everyday, and appreciate what we all have to offer the world and each other.
I’m looking forward to sharing more with you along the way and to hearing from you soon.
Honoring you and your inner architecture,
Monique
The Music IS Me
January 3, 2012
Yay! A new year! I’m feeling quite invigorated. How about you?
Just a few weeks ago I offered an easy way to connect with your Child Within for a powerful new year. Did you give it a try? If you did, I’d love to hear how it worked for you. If not, I hope that you took some steps, large or small, to set some intentions for a great year. So whether it was creating a vision board, setting goals, symbolically letting go of what didn’t work, or saying a prayer, I congratulate you for making time for yourself and getting your inspiration on!
Haven’t had the chance to prepare? You still have time!
In the past I’ve discussed how important music is for me. It is definitely one of my power tools. I love the simplicity of music as a tool, just like the simplicity of choosing a single powerful word (another great tool to use before a new year) to set you on a clear path in 2012. Although I have many great songs in my arsenal for different things, this one, for me, is a great “do it all” song. It lifts me up, allows me to let things go, and reminds me of some of my power thoughts that guide me. They include:
- You only have two choices in everything, love or fear. Choose love!
- Freedom is always yours if you want it.
- You have 100% responsibility over your life and how you feel.
- Don’t feel like a victim, ever. Find the positive in everything.
- Be proactive, not reactive.
- Being grateful every moment makes a difference.
- I am perfect in every moment. Everything is exactly as it should be right now.
- Always be professional and open-minded.
- Everyone is a student and a teacher.
- Your life is NOW. Live in the NOW. Enjoy the pleasures of life NOW.
YES…I got all of this out of this one song! My power song is Just Fine by Mary J. Blige. See why it’s one of my favorites? Not only does it remind me of how I want to live and feel, but I can’t stop dancing when I hear it. BINGO, I’ve got my song! You can see the video here and read the lyrics here.
Do you have a power song to take you into 2012? Here’s a tip to finding one:
- ID those songs that you love and make you feel good
- Ask yourself, “Why do I love this song? What does it make me want to do or stop doing?”
- Read the lyrics to the songs and determine why they mean something for you. Are your values instilled in them?
By doing these three things you are well on your way to finding the Music that IS You.
If you have a power song, I’d love to know what it is. Please share it with us all.
Enjoy the dance of 2012. Dance full-out!
Happy New Year,
Monique
Through Her Eyes
December 20, 2011
I love observing my daughter. In fact, I laugh quite a bit when I do, because I realize how much I was like her when I was her age. Do you remember when you were 7…how you saw the world from those little, brilliant eyes? Was it very different from your perspective today?
Nia, happy, in character
Watching her, I remember things that make my spirit flicker. I remember dancing and singing without inhibition in front of ceiling-to-floor mirrors. In my eyes and in my heart I felt and looked amazing–all the time (that rocks!)– and I could be whoever I wanted to be… Sandy in Grease, Pippi in Pippi Long Stockings, Annie, etc., you get the picture. Yet, the most exciting part of her world is her exploration of everything, indoors or outdoors, and her almost complete avoidance of TV.
She doesn’t care much about that world in the screen, but the one in her mind and in her heart.
Now, I’m not recommending living in La La Land, but, what if we could keep that flame flickering? In fact, what if we made sure we didn’t allow it to burn out? How would daily, mundane tasks in life feel different? Think about it. Really, really think about it. I am.
When I visualize myself now, seeing life through my daughter’s eyes, I notice myself smiling, A LOT. I feel lighter, happier, healthier, and in awe of everything. In fact, through her perspective I think of a situation that normally would drive me into a tizzy, and it just seems so petty now– simply meaningless. In fact, petty, ego-driven and non-creative meanderings would most likely not even capture an iota of her attention. They would simply fly past her like a feather in the wind.
Yes, through my child’s eyes I get to determine what has meaning and what doesn’t. That’s powerful!
So, although we always want to tackle a great BIG goal each new year, what I’m suggesting is that we do something quite simple: see this new year through the eyes of a child, and more specifically, our child within. My sense is that in doing this one simple thing we’ll achieve more goals and more happiness, with greater ease.
Here’s my Five Step Prescription:
1. GO BACK. Find a photo of yourself as a child, that you absolutely love; one that without question speaks to who you are at your core.
2. TAKE NOTE. Grab a sheet of paper and without thinking, write down the first five words (adjectives or verbs) that capture the essence of your child spirit. Then, think of five specific memories (one for each word) that bring to life each word.
3. COME INTO THE NOW. Find a photo of yourself, today, that you love! If you don’t have one, take one!
4. BRING YOUR WORDS TO LIFE. Take your five words and now clearly define how you can lead with them and live them out daily– in the now.
5. SEE IT. LIVE IT. Take a large enough poster board, or create a screen saver of your two photos, your five words, and your new actions. Look at it daily. This is a new twist to the standard vision board– much less time consuming, and more powerful.
Are you laughing at my photo? I hope so. That’s what I’m doing, and that’s exactly the feeling I’m after. I love everything about this photo because it points to things I loved experiencing as a child: my secret hiding place (yes, behind this flower bush was my hollow hide out!); my first bike which tattooed me with a scar the first time I fell off it, and which allowed me to explore the world around me; my Mickey T, which represented one of my favorite fantasy lands– Disney; and my cowboy boots, which I loved to dance in and that reminds me of the little pony I once rode and connected with. And, best of all, my David Lee Roth jump that says it all.
It says, “I’m Kick A_ _!”
It’s funny. Looking at this photo brings me to present day, where my daughter creates the strangest ensembles which make me cry out, “You can’t leave the house looking like that!” But from her vantage point, each piece of the ensemble means something to her; it’s a piece of her very personal puzzle and she can care less what anyone thinks about it. To her, it’s the best ensemble ever that screams, “This is me, people! Love it or leave it!” That’s exactly how I felt in this picture. It’s a precious reminder.
If you’re looking for a way to bring 2011 to a close and begin to bring in some authentic energy for 2012, give my prescription a try, and enjoy re-connecting with your inner child…your true self.
Cheers to a passion-filled new year.
Namaste,
Monique
I Thought He Was Crazy
October 18, 2011
My mom’s former neighbor had a strange habit. When we observed him we really thought he was crazy. He would sit for what seemed like hours on his front lawn picking his grass. He would never look up at passing traffic, just picked away, like a monkey picking bugs off his companion’s fur. What was he doing? Was he crazy? He must be, or so I thought, until I took to the green! Maybe there was something to this picking at grass after all?
It was one of those moments when relativity strikes you harder than usual, when your range of emotions is as wild as a roller coaster…it climbs, then drops, then quiets, and the cycle begins again. My soul was tired in that moment. I looked outside to the bright beautiful day and the grass called me. All I could think about was taking my shoes off, stepping on the thick warmness and spilling my soul out onto the green grass. All of a sudden I became that crazy neighbor, picking and picking the diverse grass, pulling it apart, and noticing the deep life contained within it. This big jungle under our feet is just as intricate as our lives, I thought, yet more simple.
My next thought was, “Wow! What an amazing activity of mindfulness this is!” This neighbor was onto something! It’s not like my empty feeling subsided, but all of a sudden I was observing my emptiness and it was ok. I was ok. I didn’t need to be anyone or anywhere in that moment, but deep in the grass that was much larger than anything I was dealing with in the moment.
For me, now, Green Peace has a new meaning. And that crazy man, well, he doesn’t seem so crazy to me anymore, simply a bit wiser.
May you find your own moments of wise craziness and peace within the green.
Namaste,
Monique
Change S_ cks!
September 6, 2011
Change is good. Change happens. Expect change. Yada, yada, yada!!
Change sucks!!!
There, I said it, so you wouldn’t have to. However, I would encourage you to say it just as passionately. It’s freeing! In fact, acknowledging change as “not always so great”, is probably the best first step to leaning into it and feeling more comfortable with it.
We talk about change all the time, yet when we need to make a critical change in our lives, it doesn’t feel good, or easy. Nor is it always obvious. Sometimes, the need to create change hits us like a tornado– completely unexpected. Most change happens around us daily, forcing us to shift ever so slightly or change our perspective in order to “deal” and keep living. But, when change effects us directly, it’s down-right difficult, and sometimes very painful. Change is hard. And as we all know from past experiences, anything that causes us to grow is hard.
There are different types of change, and even the change that makes us tingle (the really good, exciting kind), causes us to connect to a place deep within that allows us to say good-bye to something or someone. Sometimes it is with a part of us (i.e., habit, career, relationship) that doesn’t serve us any longer. That departure can be bittersweet…both sad and exhilarating. With change we always expand, even if we don’t sense it.
We can deconstruct change for hours, as there are many kinds–both good and bad. But, since the average person has a negative view of change, or simply feels uncomfortable enough to describe it negatively, I’m choosing to focus on the kind that truly tests us. It’s the monster that consistently shows its ugly head and laughs at us. Get me? The one that tells us “you’re never ready,” “you’re not strong,” “you’re not worth it,” “you’re comfortable”. Let’s be clear about something…the monster sucks, not us! We can quiet that monster through our choices, however.
Some of the signals that show up time and again to advise us it may be time to make a change include sadness or depression, a feeling of not having any passion or purpose, frustration or anger, lack of energy or motivation, and/or exchanges with others that are not fulfilling, or creating happiness in our lives.
Here’s the thing, too…most of the time we know deep down the change must come, but we don’t want to face it. We agree with the ugly monster instead of feeling the fear and doing it anyway.
What is the worst change can bring us which we are already handling and experiencing?
How much longer are we willing to live without that foundation of joy, happiness and positive growth (if that’s the case)?
Here’s the next important thing…we always have a choice. We are making choices all the time. But, are we making them consciously?
We have a few choices to make when it comes to change. As long as we are consciously choosing one of them we are owning our decision. When we do this we are not powerless.
Our choices as I see them…
1. Choose to continue with things as they are. Here, we decide we are not ready to take any steps toward change. Tip: own your decision to do nothing and don’t feel badly about it. It’s okay sometimes to do nothing. There is still power in this decision. Here, we can keep our eyes and hearts in the moment and try to be open to new things; more positive things presenting themselves to us.
2. Choose to take small, calculated risks. Here, we are choosing to live higher up on the “shift” readiness scale. Tip: each week decide what small step you can take toward making the change happen. Don’t allow fear to get the best of you. Celebrate your successes; forgive the set-backs.
3. Choose to go all out. This is Internal Armageddon! Here, we decide to become that person the monster fears. We look in the mirror and say, “Today I choose to own my power fully, take that bold step forward and deal with the consequences!” To be clear…this doesn’t necessarily mean we are making a huge change. It can be a very small one that has been extremely difficult to make. Change is different for each of us. Tip: write down what you expect to happen and be ready for the unexpected. What scenarios have you not thought of? Draft a pact with yourself; date it, sign it, and stand by it!
Change is hard. Yes, it is. But, no matter what your choice, you can grow within your decision by continuing to be conscious about it. When the path is difficult we can journal, or have a conversation with a trusted friend, family member, therapist or coach. Even your pet can fill these shoes!
Change sucks…sometimes.
Here’s what I know for sure…living and choosing consciously softens the blow that is change and quiets that ugly monster within us.
As always, may you enjoy purpose in the process. 🙂
Namaste,
Monique
Lovely Scars
June 14, 2011
I read this today and all sorts of thoughts began popping up in my mind as well as some scary, albeit meaningful memories:
Effort is an expression of a deep desire in the soul. It is part of our process in this lifetime. We do not ride a bike the first time we try, and the same principle applies to our spiritual growth.
I’ll say! My first memory is just that…riding a bike. I absolutely loved my black and pink Huffy! Problem: learning to ride it truly was not easy and I have a scar to prove it. It just so happens that I fell off my Huffy into a pile of glass on the street which resulted in quite a bit of blood and a nasty scar on my right thigh. A second incident even earlier on (about 4-years-old) was from scaling a wall and trying to scoot myself from one side of a tall window to the other. Problem: I fell on a lovely, regal Spanish chair adorned by a metal peak. Ouch! You know how this ended…another scar. This experience, however, was even more memorable as it occurred during the Super Bowl. All of the surgeons at the hospital must have been watching the Bowl, since my father helped stitch me up in the ER!
What was similar about these two painful moments was the fact that they indeed resulted from a deep desire and effort. I’m damn proud of my scars!! I recall that small window now as an adult, and say to myself “No big deal.” But as a 4-year-old that was a ginormous window and challenge. How cool for me to be able to get across! I was in another world in that moment, in a 4-year-old fantasy land, mimicking Super Woman! Yep, I love my scar!
And my Huffy…that beautiful, tough Huffy, signified personal power, freedom and adventure! I explored many a neighborhood on that bike and found some creative sanctuaries along the way, like my favorite place I called “Paradise”, my own little spot under a bridge by a canal close by. Many of my childhood soul desires were dreamed-up there.
According to Chinese Face Reading, an ancient form of Chinese Medicine, which I’m currently studying, thanks to the amazing Jean Haner, every single scar, discoloration, wrinkle, etc., on our faces reveals the specific challenges we are put on this earth to experience and learn from. All of them come from a deep place, and because they are all part of our earthly transformation, through our awareness of them we can grow in wisdom, self-compassion and self-acceptance. We also learn how to have compassion for others and accept them for who they are. Although the scars I’ve described above are not on my face, I’ve grown to appreciate my facial features and wrinkles (yay!) because I know they carry a deeper meaning. They represent ME and MY STORY! They also give me a clear picture of what lessons I still have to learn.
What scars (visible or not) on or within you represent these important moments of effort and deep desire?
How have they helped you grow and transform?
Not sure how to identify those “scars” that provide us with those “spirit expanding” experiences? Try this. If you can answer “True” to any of these statements, you’ve got yourself a winner:
- This feels just like learning to ride a bike! It takes so many tries and so much effort to get there. I don’t know if I can do it!
- This situation or ones similar just keep coming up for me over and over. It’s like Murphy’s Law!
- This feels familiar, yet I’m ready to not re-live this. I’m ready to step over this invisible line I’ve drawn and say “No” this time.
- This comes up not only for me but for those close to me!
- I’m so darn excited! It’s like I’m in the flow and things are just magically happening! This is a sweet feeling!
Are you beginning to notice what those Lovely Scars or deep desires may look like for you?
Be curious. Look at your past and present experiences, and future desires for clues. The more you pay attention the more a pattern will become clear, making your spiritual journey so much more meaningful.
I’d love for you to share some of your Lovely Scars…I hope you do.
Namaste,
Monique
Projecting Happiness
May 12, 2011
It occurred to me today just how easy it is to project onto others our disappointment and unhappiness as well as blame and guilt. The sad part is that I saw how quickly it can happen without the slightest pause; mostly unconsciously.
Today it almost happened to me with my children. Scary! Yet at the same time it wasn’t scary because I cherish these moments of awakening. On an almost daily basis I speak with others about living consciously and understanding the patterns that we continue to live with. There’s no question that we pass along beliefs, expectations and our own patterns to others, especially those we are close with. Yet, if we make a concerted effort to see our patterns– our default tendencies, then we can stop the past from reliving itself in the future, from generation to generation.
Yeah, I know, you want me to tell you what awful thing I almost did, right? Okay, I’ll spill the beans.
This morning wasn’t the smoothest “get out of the door and off to school” morning. My son’s pants didn’t fit right (and we couldn’t find any others!), my hair wasn’t doing its thing, my daughter refused to stop watching SpongeBob to brush her teeth, my bacon caught fire in the microwave, and then my son topped it off by turning on his X Box when we should have already arrived at school. We were super late!
As is certain, however, they were both mad at me for rushing them and being “mean.” I should have been laughing, really, but I was seething in that moment deep inside. To make things worst, they wouldn’t even look at me or speak to me in the car. Seriously???
I’m laughing now as I replay the entire scene in my head as it is the kind of classic example that I would give in one of my workshops. I was so angry, and I also was feeling sorry for myself. “How could my children treat me this way; I didn’t do anything. Poor me!” Interestingly enough, I’ve had similar mornings where this kind of scenario wouldn’t have phased me at all. Thankfully, the advisor in me spoke loudly inside before I spoke out to my children, potentially projecting the following, “How dare you be mad at me! What did I do to you? I should be the one ignoring both of you! You were both mean to me! etc….”
Scary, right? Yet doesn’t this happen all the time? What if I hadn’t had the uber conscious moment to understand what I was about to do and say to them? My projection would have taught them that it’s better to blame and make others feel guilty and sad instead of just dealing with my own emotions and shifting to higher, more productive thoughts…thoughts that would help the reactive emotions subside, ultimately not affecting my children and others in their path that day (or mine for that matter!).
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m human. I do project, probably more than I’m aware. But what I know for sure is that being more conscious is a way of life; a way of life I am choosing to follow. Challenging? Yes. But, worth the work.
I read this today which made me feel more secure in my desire to stop negative patterns from holding us back:
Your happiness does not depend on what others do, but only upon your own vibrational balance. And the happiness of others does not depend on you, but on their own vibrational balance, for the way anyone feels, in any moment, is only about their own mix of energies.
More on this concept of happiness and what we can both internalize and project onto others…
The greatest gift that you could ever give to another is your own happiness, for when you are in a state of joy or happiness or appreciation, you are fully connected to positive Source energy that is truly who you are. And when you are in that state of connection, anything or anyone that you are holding as your object of attention benefits from your attention.
What if you can’t choose happiness in that moment?
Well, then, do the next best thing:
- Be AWARE of your emotions
- ACCEPT them for what they are (Your own mix of energies!)
- CHOOSE to not project them onto anyone
When you feel ready to shift, tap into the happiness in the new moment, for each moment provides us with an opportunity to feel different and great.
What might you be projecting?
Stop the pattern.
Namaste,
Monique
The Dance of Relationships
April 11, 2011
Recently, I was asked to say a few words of inspiration at a wedding. I really enjoyed putting words to paper for this special occasion, and it seems as though my words did inspire a few to look at their relationships in a new way.
So, for my April blog, I thought I would share them with my greater audience, and hopefully, keep the dance moving for a bit longer.
Enjoy….
Each time I attend a wedding I can’t help but to be overcome with feelings of love and joy. And in particular, I get to thinking of the magic of relationships. Without the relationship we have with the Divine and the relationship we have with our parents, we would not even exist. That, in-and-of itself is magical.
I also think of my own marriage of almost 15 years and what the priest said to us that still to this day has been one of the keys to our amazing relationship… He said, “Don’t compete; complete!”
This is a transformational action, a way of living, and it can be applied to ALL of our relationships.
Just imagine how our relationships and interactions, whether personal or professional, could improve if we entered into them with this intention; one that builds and unites, instead of one that separates and breaks down.
Don’t compete, complete.
So, how do we go about completing each other? Well, therein lies the adventure. The dance of life and relationships. For in each moment we have the opportunity to grasp some fulfillment, joyfully, while allowing others to do the same. We can ebb and flow, giving and receiving, leading and following, like two tango dancers.
So let’s dance in life. Let’s dance enthusiastically!
As one of my favorite authors, Eckhart Tolle, tells us,
“Enthusiasm comes from a Greek word that means to be possessed by a God. With enthusiasm you will find that you don’t have to do it all by yourself, in fact, there is nothing of significance you can do by yourself.”
So, in closing, poet, Rumi, helps me wrap this up nicely by questioning,
Does a drop stay still in the ocean?
Move with the entirety,
And with the tiniest particular.
Be the moisture in an oyster
That helps to form one pearl.
May your relationships be the best dances of your life!
Namaste,
Monique
Straying from our Truth
March 6, 2011
c/o Paul Teixeira
Today is my Birthday. And what better a way to celebrate my Birthday then to give birth to something new; something that is a piece of me…a piece of my truth. So here you have it, a new beautiful ranting, a new blog.
On days like today I think back to my childhood and I really try to remember who I was and what invigorated me; made me lose time. For it is my belief that we are living authentically during those moments of simple pleasures, joy and timelessness. Whatever it is we are doing in those moments we can do forever! Ahh…remember those days? Yes, I know who I was, and I make sure to tap into that energy now as a Bigger Child. That energy is still within me; my core self, and I owe it to my child self to stay true to who I’ve always been.
I talk a lot. I talk a lot to lots of people, especially high-achieving women. In trying to achieve so much, many times we lose sight of our truth. It becomes blurry, fuzzy, and seems so far away. We stray. As high achievers we get a HIGH by multi-tasking; getting a lot of things done at the same time, or doing too much to please too many. But do we really get a lot done? Are we pleasing ourselves? How much joy or effectiveness am I getting out of one specific task or activity if I have to drop it to begin another, and another, and another? As a high achiever, what exactly am I achieving?
So today– my day– I focus on the intention and action of living my truth and not straying from it, which as we all know is so easy to do.
I read this today and it cemented the concept for me. Perhaps it will for you too:
“The moment we stray from where we are, we create a tension between two places– where we are and where we are thinking of being. It is this tension that blocks us from the sensation of being fully alive, because being split in our attention prevents us from being authentic– even though managing many tasks at once is considered intelligent. That we stray from the moment is not surprising. The more crucial thing is that we return.“
Yesterday, I received so much joy from sitting silently and watching my daughter, age 6, revel in her body, her creativity, her enthusiasm in her new dance class. I closed my eyes and went way back in time and saw myself dancing and singing uninhibited in front of no one, or anyone, who cared to watch. I could care less of anyone’s judgement or lack of it. All I cared about in that moment and for hours on end was the feeling I felt, and the dream in my heart. If anyone wanted to come along for the ride, all the better. It was all about the process, not the outcome; the performance, not the feedback. I LOVE this part of MY TRUTH!
What part of YOUR TRUTH do you revel in?
I also found much joy and laughter in reading an article in O about a busy working mother who had visions of her complicated, messy life turning around completely; of becoming someone other that who she was.
She shares:
“I am not and was never going to be the relaxed, organized, manicured career mom, any more than I was going to be the shiny, elusive cheerleader or the diligent Gap employee or the virginal good girl or the wise young lady who dates only responsible, emotionally available guys. I am a disorganized, melancholy second-guesser who rhapsodizes a little too loudly over the pleasures of a cold beer at the end of a long day.”
And, although she managed to have a few really amazing chaos-free days, she embraces her authenticity by proclaiming:
“This is true…I love this f_ _ _ing clown show of mine! Sometimes, even though my world is in chaos, I see myself braiding my daughter’s hair, drinking my tea, blending up a fruit smoothie and singing and dancing crazily to distract the baby from the blender’s scary, grinding sound, and I think…That woman is weird, but she does seem to be enjoying herself.”
I love that. I love that although her world-ly self tells her how she should be (which is not authentic to her), she honors what her spirit self tells her she is, and what feels right and real.
Today I celebrate me. The child me, and the somewhat developed bigger child me, who always wants to give birth to projections of myself and juicy bits of what I’ve always offered to this world.
Want a piece of me? Well, you have no choice. You’re gonna get it!
Cheers to me, to you, and to living our truth!
Monique
Illumined Life Leadership 