Seek Focus Instead of Balance
May 23, 2016
We are hardwired to believe that in order to be successful, we must be able to do many things really well and equally well. Well…I have to tell you that this fallacy is one of the major contributors to the amount of stress we feel every day to “do it all” and “be it all”. Perhaps this is one of the reasons we are always craving this ugly word called BALANCE!
As a life-long dancer, balance is critical! In fact, I dare say that it’s absolutely essential for being a superb dancer. But in life, business strategy, and in leadership, I’m not so sure that it is.
Take this quote below as an example. I was reading this article last night about Anthropologie’s tremendous success, and how they attribute it in great part to not being everything to everybody, and not doing the same conventional things that their competitors do. In fact, what they owe much of their success to is what they don’t do.
Read on…
“One of our core philosophies,” explains Anthropologie president Glen Senk, “is that we spend the money that other companies spend on marketing to create a store experience that exceeds people’s expectations. We don’t spend money on messages — we invest in execution.”
This reminds me of one of my favorite tools that I use when working with leaders—The Four Domains of Leadership Strength:
- Executing
- Influencing
- Relationship Building
- Strategic Thinking
If you haven’t yet used the tool StrengthsFinder 2.0, which tells you where your top talents lie within these domains, then this may be new to you. But let’s keep it simple, here’s what you need to know: Not everyone is dominant in all four of these domains! Some people’s talents may be equally dispersed among these strengths domains, but more often than not, we tend to be dominant in one or two.
Clearly, Anthropologie’s strength lies in the execution of their store experience. Once their ideal client walks through their doors they are immersed in a world that speaks to their souls. They execute…and they execute well, because that’s their focus.
It’s the same for each of us. When we are keenly aware of what we are naturally great at, and we spend most of our focus there, the likelihood that we will feel stressed or unsuccessful decreases significantly. We are in our zone!
For example, my two strongest domains lie in Strategic Thinking and Relationship Building. This doesn’t mean that I’m not good at executing or influencing, actually, I’m pretty great at both, but I get things done faster, and with greater pleasure and success when my focus is placed on all things strategic and relationships. As a leader I always kept this top of mind, because I knew that I would be much more effective when I was able to delegate to others in my team who were STRONG in execution—“getting things done” and influencing—“pulling people in”. And guess what? I did have people on my team whose strengths were in those domains. It was wonderful to see and feel the excitement and engagement when we could all focus on what we were great at.
“Balance is a great concept, truly. But it’s better for dancers than for leaders!” ~Monique Catoggio
I’ll leave you with this additional quote to mull over:
“Essentialism is not about how to get more things done; it’s about how to get the right things done. It doesn’t mean just doing less for the sake of less either. It is about making the wisest possible investment of your time and energy in order to operate at our highest point of contribution by doing only what is essential.”
~Greg McKeown, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less
Namaste, Monique
Natural Strengths and Wellbeing. Is There a Link?
November 19, 2014
This one’s for the Ladies!
I remember when I was disengaged from work and life. It felt a bit like depression, although I did a pretty good job of keeping it together. Perhaps you’ve been there too? See, as a busy mom and professional, I always felt like I couldn’t relax. I had to keep moving, building, growing, succeeding. Feel me? Even worst, I felt I had to keep it all inside. Heaven forbid if someone could see how I really felt. That I didn’t feel successful. That I didn’t know who the heck I was anymore. That I just didn’t care. I know you feel me, and you want to know why? More and more I get calls from professionals and executives who feel the same! They want to be engaged again, they want to feel successful, and they want to lead purposed-driven careers and lives. I love working with these amazing people, because I’ve been there, and through inside-out work, I found my way.
In my work as a Gallup Strengths Coach I love reading Gallup‘s research on leadership and wellbeing (no surprise there, right?!). I was so thrilled to read the following, and this is why I want to celebrate all of you amazing women professionals, leaders and entrepreneurs.
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Of the 11 million men and women around the world who have taken StrengthsFinder, men and women share the same four most frequently named top five strengths: Responsibility, Learner, Achiever, and Relator. (We’re not that different. Ok, that’s cool. Keep reading.)
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Although many men have Empathy as a strength, women tend to have it in their top 5! (Ladies, it keeps getting better!)
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And, women tend to lead with Responsibility. (Hmm…Empathy, Responsibility…I’m seeing a pattern here!) The article asked this question: Could this be because we were raised differently in our respective gender roles, or because our expectations for work or our definitions of a life well lived differed from the outset? What do you think? What’s true for you?
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Here’s the kicker, Ladies! When Gallup analyzed its five largest data sets, including World Poll data from 160 countries around the world, employee engagement, and wellbeing data right here in the U.S., they found that men and women alike define wellbeing or “a life well lived” as five elements, consisting of the following:
• Their purpose for what they do every day
• Their financial wellbeing
• Their physical wellbeing
• Their community wellbeing
• Their social interactions
When they broke down the data by gender, they found that women are FOUR PERCENTAGE POINTS more likely than men to be thriving in their strengths and wellbeing; that’s significantly higher!
I’m not a scientist or researcher, and I’m not claiming that there is a direct link to higher wellbeing, but it excites me to think that leading with strengths like empathy and responsibility could contribute to our increased wellbeing. It makes me curious. In fact, whether these strengths are in your top 5 or not, we know that THEY ARE critical skills for leaders, regardless. I don’t know about you, but as a woman who’s been hearing for years (especially from other women who are hard on themselves) that we do too much and we can’t handle the pressure or we get too emotional, this is re-affirming. Here’s a bigger question when we look at leadership today, why is leading with empathy and responsibility important? Well, simply put, knowing that you work with leaders who care for your whole-life wellbeing, not just bottom line results, makes a huge difference in employee productivity and engagement. And we know from Gallup that what employees want most from their leaders (in this order) is: Trust, Compassion, Stability and Hope.
Ladies, it’s time we celebrate our natural tendencies to really care for others, while still being able to achieve great success in our careers and lives.
So, are women doing a better job at embracing their natural strengths? Are we understanding that we can’t do it all – all the time and still be proud of who we are and what we accomplish on a daily basis? According to Marian N. Ruderman and Patricia J. Ohlott, authors of Standing in the Crossroads: Next Steps for High-Achieving Women,
“…Now the emphasis has shifted to the changing contours of life—choices and trade-offs, the forces that influence decisions, and the strategies successful women use for constructing meaningful and fulfilling careers. Traditional career paths can seem clear but also unsatisfying or impossible to travel, while new paths that allow for a full and rich life are complex, uncertain, and ambiguous.”
Sarah Kauss, founder of S’well, which makes reusable insulated steal water bottles says:
“You have to be comfortable with not doing everything.”
Anita Krohn Traaseth, a mother of three, blogger, author, and the CEO of Innovation Norway, shares:
“It’s one of my father’s favorite expressions and has saved me from being an unnecessary perfectionist…If you don’t take care of yourself, set your own standards, decide when enough is enough, learn to balance and rest, you’ll have limited success. I learned that life was not about striving for perfection.”
So how in the 
h$ll do you balance?
I truly believe in moment-to-moment, intentional “balance”. In knowing myself, my strengths, my vision for my work and life, my priorities, and daily powerful decision making. I always ask myself each morning, “What’s important today, and what needs to come first?” I also have to remind myself that some things JUST ARE NOT IMPORTANT (to me!) AND ARE A WASTE OF TIME! We all have time and energy wasters that are not aligned with our values, strengths and vision! We have to know what those are.
My good friend, Luly B, speaks to this idea of Balance in her book and new audio series, Balance is Bull$hit: 7 Steps to Boycotting Balance and Living Life on Your Terms. Because women need to celebrate themselves and each other, I want to celebrate her success and determination in creating this amazing product, which helps her live her vision each day of helping moms lead successful lives through boycotting balance! You definitely want to check it out and share it with those moms you know need it! Luly’s voice is authentic and empowering.
Keep leading with your heart ladies! Our wellbeing is better because of it (at least I believe so!).
It’s your life. Lead it well….Monique
Know Your Super Human Power and Deploy it in 3 Simple Steps
November 13, 2014
This week has been quite exhilarating for me, not only because I’m in Colorado Springs in 18 degree snowy weather, but because I’ve been surrounded by hundreds of talented and ridiculously energizing human beings at Michael Hyatt’s Platform Conference! But, what’s even more exhilarating for me is knowing that each person I was with had a unique super-human power that they were deploying soon (if not already!) to get busy doing what they were meant to do. Something that would impact someone somewhere in some way.
You see, each one of us (yes, that includes you!) is gifted. We were each born with a unique gift that we are meant to put to good use. My belief is that our lifetime is about just that… understanding our gifts and through hell or high water, shining our light.
This stuff excites me, which is why it is at the foundation of the work that I do. How can we complete the task outside of ourselves when we are not certain of what’s inside? It’s also why I love simple and inexpensive tools like StrengthsFinder, because it provides a quick and easy way to help us connect with our super human powers—the combination of talents that only we have! And when you combine our strengths with our desires, and how we hope to impact others, well, then, we are truly deploying our super human powers!
Did you have those super human power desires and dreams as a child? I did! Heck, I went through moments of screaming to the sky with my fist in the air, “I have the power!” like Hercules did, and I waited for the heavens to shoot down into me those powers. Yes, I truly believed I could download power from the sky! (It felt great, by the way! I highly recommend it!)
And while I’m not suggesting that’s what we do on a daily basis, I am suggesting that like those beautiful little souls in the video, we don’t call out our faults, but we recall our super human powers and put them into play each day.
Not sure how to do it? Use these 3 steps to Know and Deploy your Super Human Powers
(Tip: Do these steps quickly! Otherwise your “external voice” will step in and lead you astray!):
1. Stand in front of a mirror and say to yourself, “Although I am not perfect, I am ridiculously gifted! My gifts are: _____________________________________________________________.” (Shout out at least three! This is a “gut” exercise. Don’t think, just shout!).
2. Continue saying out loud to yourself in the mirror, “When I use my gifts I feel: ______________________________.” (Don’t think about it…just shout out those emotions!)
3. And, finally, finish it off by saying to yourself in the mirror, “With my gifts I can help others ___________________________________.”
If you have trouble with this, I encourage you to give StrengthsFinder a try. I haven’t yet come across a person whose reaction wasn’t, “Wow, this is me!” It’s certainly a great start to tapping into our super human powers and living our lives more from the place where these children were living— a place of excitement, self-love and opportunity!
I LOVE this humorous cartoon created by/for Gretchin Rubin, author of The Happiness Project, who struggled to “know” and deploy her gifts. Check it out here for a laugh or two. We’re not alone in this quest, folks!
4 Ways to Achieve FLOW Through Results-Oriented Operating
October 16, 2014
In the world of conscious living and leading it is understood that when we are not able to “flow”– to focus and be “on”– we are not fully connected with, or aligned with the universe (or “source”). Have you felt those moments, when you’re not fully present, or have a difficult time motivating yourself to get something started or finished? It happens to all of us, and one way to look at your development as a leader is to be very conscious of those moments where there is a disconnect, and through awareness and action, make the necessary shifts in order to get back to flow (and achieving!). As leaders we cannot make things happen and connect with and lead others without the ability to do this. I like to call it–Lighting it Up!
Just last week I attended our Center for Leadership’s Lecture Series, where distinguished global executive Jorge P. Montoya, who among other notable positions and appointments was the President for Proctor & Gamble Latin America, spoke on “Really, The Only Thing That Counts Is Delivering Results.” As a leadership trainer and coach, the title intrigued me quite a bit, and I attended, mostly, to ensure that Mr. Montoya would at some point discuss the human side of leadership and its importance to the bottom line. I’m happy to say that he did do that! In fact, he encouraged those present to learn, learn and continue learning; keep a positive attitude; cultivate and practice humbleness and servant leadership, and infuse love and passion in your job.
However, I respect where he started the conversation, and it reminds me of the idea of flow and being “on”. If you have your own business, or work for a business, there is no escaping the bottom line. Businesses must be profitable, and it does take an enormous amount of time, energy and focus to both reach and surpass profitability, and do it in a way that will support and grow those who work for you, or those with whom you work. Ideally, when business is good, so too is the livelihood of those connected to or surrounded by those businesses. We want business to thrive, right? So, igniting your flow from a very results-focused, bottom line-oriented perspective could certainly do the trick for both you and your business/company you work for.
Although Mr. Montoya’s presentation was mostly directed to the future leaders who were present, I believe his message is crucial for those of us who are in leadership positions, and who want to have more moments where we are Lighting it Up! In fact, what I share with you below has broader meaning. You can apply it to how you lead your finances, for example.
Here’s his prescription:
Principle:
Delivering Consistent Results is the Only Thing That Counts! Generally, you can do this via:
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Flawless execution of a good strategy
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Using your leadership to deliver results (through others!)
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Build the mindset very early on to develop operating discipline
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Design clear, stretch goals for yourself
Executing the Principle via the 4 F’s:
- Focus – Know where to play. Choose 2-3 core competencies. Less is better!
- Forcing Choices – Know how to win. Choose 2-3 choices or “weapons” to beat the competition. Choose what not to do. Don’t fix every problem; feed the strong and starve the weak.
- Frugality – Be brutal on costs, permanently! Develop a permanent scarcity mentality. Free spending sickness is contagious and can get out of control.
- Foresee a Crisis – Anticipate volatility/crisis and competitive moves. Change is constant and inevitable; the adaptive will survive and the proactive will win.
In applying it to my own life and leadership, I can see how those moments when I am not Lighting it Up are in fact times when I’m working on too many things at once. That “focus”, or “forced choice” was not present. In fact, this concept aligns directly with strengths-based leadership–feed what you’re strong at, and starve (or delegate!) what you’re weak at!
In true “Learner” fashion (my #1 strength), I’m always happy to learn and share these learnings with you!
Where in your life or in your leadership can you apply Mr. Montoya’s 4 F’s strategy?
How can you apply this strategy to get back into a flow and Light Things Up?
I’d love to hear your thoughts and examples. Write me a line below.
It’s your life. Lead it well.
Monique
5 Ways to be your own COO!
September 23, 2014
When speaking about my coaching, I often get asked, “What’s personal leadership?” Leadership, at the end of the day, is the ability to inspire others with a clear and powerful vision, mobilize them around that vision, and empower them to productively work alone and together with others to achieve a united mission. Now, take that definition and apply it to one’s own life. A “personal leader”, then, can be seen as someone who has a clear vision for his/her life, mobilizes him/herself daily around that vision, and empowers him/herself to productively walk toward achieving that mission. Personal leadership also entails understanding when we are “off mission” so we can make those necessary changes that will put us back on track.
Heck, you can think about personal leadership like being your own Chief Operating Officer! Why would you let someone else operate your life, right? Yes, we all have to follow orders when we work for others, and oftentimes in teams we have to forgo our own agenda. However, despite scenarios like these, life just flows better and energizes us when we are able to tap into our personal leadership and lead our lives from that “core”, proactively, moment to moment.
A key component of our core is our natural talents–innate ways in which we think, feel and act. Each of us is uniquely inclined to think, feel and act in certain ways. In our own leadership, we often feel in-authentic when don’t operate from our core, but instead do what we think others want from us, or we want to be like “those leaders.” Certainly, there are traits of other leaders that we strive to attain for ourselves. Yet, research clearly shows that being more of who we are naturally, makes us more engaged in our lives and “inner”gized, so we can go out there and do our thing.
Now, let’s simplify this! After all, a COO’s job is no easy task, and leadership is kind of a big thing. One easy and empowering way to begin connecting with and applying our personal leadership is to be clear about our natural talents, which become strengths via our focus, intention and application. Many of us innately understand what our talents are. An easy way to “get it in writing” though is to use the simple and time-tested tool: Strengths Finder. In organizations, especially, where you may want to encourage personal leadership among all your employees, this tool gives you a common language to work with.
When you look at this chart, you can recognize the language that we operate within our careers. These leadership dimensions are critical in any business and for any COO. However, are we naturally strong in all of them? Should we spend our time making ourselves strong in all of them? Or, should we invest in understanding where we operate at our best, using our natural talents, and invest in operating chiefly there? As a Gallup Certified Strengths Coach I’m partial to the ladder, but primarily because I truly believe in the science behind it, I live it, and I have seen the difference when individuals lead their lives from their strengths.
So here are 5 ways that you begin to be your own COO (and love it!)…
- Identify your Top 5 talent themes via Strengths Finder
- Place them on the chart above
- Visually understand how you operate at your best within these dimensions. Some times we are balanced and sometimes we are not. No two leaders’ strengths are identical!
- Take the time to see how your talents currently play out in your life and where they are lacking.
- Intentionally decide how you will play to your strengths daily and do it!
Leading strong in our lives is truly the first step in then being able to lead others in a unique, authentic way. Embrace your unique talents and become your own COO!
If you’d like to take the Strengths path along with others to Name, Claim and Aim your strengths, I’d love for you to join me for my upcoming one-day workshop on October 23rd. Learn more here.
Have a magnificent day!
It’s your life. Lead it well.
Monique
When Being a Rebel Rocks!
May 28, 2014
In my life I have definitely benefited from being a phenomenal planner and uber focused. Early in my career I became an expert in planning small and large, complex events and programs because of this skill.
Perhaps this strength became over-used? I soon found myself not wanting to plan anything! In fact, if I never planned another event again that would be just fine (LOL!). What I noticed, however, was my internal resistance to not plan, or just do those things on my check-list or calendar.
As a coach, I can pick up on “gremlins” pretty quickly. Well, I realized this was one of my gremlins, an inner voice that whispers to me, “Stop fooling around! Plan girl, and check off that list!”
One of my top 5 strengths is Ideation, so it’s natural for me to come up with ideas all the time. So, my rebel gremlin, I call her Reba, wants to protect me. She wants me to do what I’ve done in the past that has helped me succeed. She wants me to take all of these ideas that pop up, ignore them, and keep working my plan.
I get it, if I always deter from my plan I may not accomplish anything. Heck, this is what I work on with many of my clients. However, as someone with high Ideation and Activation, I do know it’s important to act on some of my ideas–planned or not–and just go for it!
So, what do I do? Listen to Reba, or ditch my plans and go for the big ideas?
Reba shows up so often, that I’ve learned to recognize which unplanned ideas are the ones to go for! I feel a specific vibration in my gut, and I even hear my inner voice saying “Yes, this is the one, act now!” If I don’t take action, I know that I will miss out on something quite extraordinary.
Yes, I still plan. Every successful professional who has various roles and responsibilities must plan in order to accomplish some level of daily balance and reach their goals. But, I do listen to my inner voices and learn to discern what’s real and what isn’t; what’s worth the risk and what isn’t.
I have to say, Reba certainly adds some excitement to my life!
Do you have an inner Rebel? How has he/she helped you Rock?
I’d love to hear all about it.
Monique
Born to be Wild
May 7, 2014
“According to this law [the law of Dharma], you have a unique talent and a unique way of expressing it. There is something that you can do better than anyone else in the whole world — and for every unique talent and unique expression of that talent, there are also unique needs. When these needs are matched with the creative expression of your talent, that is the spark that creates affluence. Expressing your talents to fulfill needs creates unlimited wealth and abundance.” ― Deepak Chopra
Are you born to be wild, or are you born to be quiet and focused?
Do you ever wonder why you make certain choices?
Why you do what you do?
Why you like certain things?
Why you are better at some things than others?
I remember being terrified about some of my MBA courses. I was excited about being challenged to think, explore and debate, but the thought of analyzing financial statements or evaluating a corporate merger made me shake in my bones! Well, there is a reason why, of course! I was not born to be a CFO or an Accountant, but I certainly was born to communicate, to learn and share what I’ve learned, and help others maximize their talents. Those specific MBA classes were certainly challenging, and I was certainly able to learn and apply some very important financial skills, but having me master those skills would forever be a waste of my time and gifts.
We know these things instinctually, I feel, but in our world of fixing “What’s wrong” we are often pressured to focus on what we are not and what we “should be.” This way of thinking, learning and living has become so engrained in our work and educational cultures, it’s no wonder individuals feel disengaged and “lost.” More and more I meet amazing, very accomplished people who want to deeply connect with who they are and be impactful in leading a life of deeper purpose.
As leaders, are we helping our team members contribute their best and grow in their strengths?
As parents, are we honoring our children’s unique talents and helping them to shine in what comes naturally to them?
These stats below tell us how crucial it is that we move in this direction:
Here’s what Gallup knows about using our talents:
- People who know and use their talents and have the opportunity to use them at work are six times as likely to be engaged in their job.
- People who know their talents and have the opportunity to use them at work are more than three times as likely to report having an excellent quality of life.
- People who use their strengths every day have 7.8% greater productivity.
Weakness fixing prevents failure.
Strengths-building leads to success.
Identifying our strengths and the strengths of others doesn’t have to be rocket science. You can do it through self-awareness, through input from others (on what you’re awesome at and examples of when you are at your best!), and you certainly can use one of the best tools out there—Gallup’s StrengthsFinder.
As a Gallup Certified Strengths Coach I not only love OWNING my strengths and making sure that I’m utilizing them to their fullest, but I also love helping others do the same. One of the most empowering things to do is share your strengths with others and honor YOU! So, I’m happy to share my top 5 with you:
LEARNER. MAXIMIZER. POSITIVITY.
INDIVIDUALIZATION. IDEATION.
Every time I read my talent themes my inner cheerleader does a back flip because I know that I am investing in them and making them stronger day-by-day.
Engagement numbers truly scare me. I picture the more than 70% of individuals in our workforce who are disengaged, bored, depressed and just working to collect a pay check and I am saddened. I imagine a world where we are all fully engaged and turned on, making things happen individually and together.
How are you maximizing your talents and gifts?
I’d love for you to share what you feel you were born to do.
Are you doing it?
Have you taken Strengths Finder? If so, please share your Top 5 with me!
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Wishing you a life well led,
Monique
Retirement? Meh!
March 12, 2014
A few weeks ago I blogged about Pushing Through on something that is either important for you, or will help you get to that very next level. I truly enjoy the process of pushing through, and this month I’ve been working on my very own project — one that I have been putting off for quite some time. We all have those, don’t we?
Since knowing and leveraging my strengths is very effective for me, I tap into my talent of “activating,” which basically states that in order for me to feel on point, launching things often is very important for me. In the same way, NOT starting something that I know I need to start takes me off track.
Because my project has to do with planning, the idea of retirement came up. Suddenly, I’m paying more attention to the commercials Prudential has been putting out (which I feel are quite impactful) and beginning to imagine what I truly want my “retirement” to look and feel like. I visualize traveling (a lot!), enjoying daily life with my family, and engaging in super fun and youthful activities (hee hee!). Connecting my idea of “retirement” to something meaningful and exciting really helps me to look at it differently.
It doesn’t surprise me then, that one of the factors we know causes the feeling of “happiness” is being able to work hard to achieve something of importance or meaning to us. Shouldn’t our retirement be one of those things? Perhaps it is a time of rest for some, or for others, transformation, healing, or adventure. (Personally, I like adventure!)
Thinking about it is motivating me to redefine the word “retirement.” Let’s simply break down the word:
Retire: to withdraw to or from a particular place
Ment: this suffix can hold several meanings, but the one I’m drawn to is “State of Amazement!”
So, here’s my chosen new meaning of Retirement …
To Withdraw to a State of Amazement! (WSA)
Is this not the hippest way to look at retirement?
YES! If I don’t say so myself!
With this new way of looking at retirement, envisioning what we want and planning how we are going to make it happen becomes a happy planning activity for us.
What’s your vision for your WSA?
Can you tap into one of your strengths to help you think of retirement differently?
Please share your thoughts, or perhaps some great pictures of your new vision for WSA!
Finally, if having the “money talk” is uneasy for you, check out this video from LearnVest to help you get started.
It’s your life. Lead it well!
Namaste,
Monique
Sprouting Seeds
March 5, 2014
Happy Birthday To Me!!
Yes, today is my birthday, and I couldn’t be happier sharing my special day with each of you.
Birthdays are a wonderful time of year for each of us to honor who we are, the special gifts we bring to the world, and to reflect upon all of the good in our lives and all the greatness ahead. I could not be more grateful.
If you’ve read my blog posts in the past, you know that I believe everything is energy. As such, I also believe in the energetic cycles of time — what each day, month or year has in store for each of us, uniquely, based on our birth date, as well for all of us as a whole. It just so happens that this time of year, the energy of Pisces helps us to give birth to all of those wonderful seeds we have planted. If you happen to have the urge to pursue an idea or start a project that has been collecting dust on paper or on your mind’s shelf, know that NOW is the time to take action!
Taking action isn’t easy. But trust that in pushing forward slightly, you are opening a universal door that will support your every move.
Here are 10 easy tips to help you take off. Pick one or two that resonate with you and get going!
- Pick a partner. Enlist someone savvy to help you with your idea or work together with you.
- Create space in your calendar. Block off 30 minutes three times per week to dedicate to your initiative. Use your lunchtime if necessary.
- Use Sunday as your Creative Day. Take a journal or piece of paper, list all of the things that come to your mind that you would like to DO, BE or START. Pick the one that calls to you. Circle it. Then, ID the first three super small steps you can do this week to launch it.
- Design your Manifest Monday by creating one small step you will take action on each Monday for one month.
- Write your goal on every mirror in your house, car and office. Keep it top of mind.
- Schedule reminders each day (via your calendar or smart phone) to get you to take one more step toward completing your project.
- Ask your partner to hold you accountable by calling you daily, weekly, etc.
- Ask the question: “How will I feel if I don’t take action on this idea?” Does your answer motivate you?
- Write a one-page letter to yourself expressing what you will have accomplished by taking on this task. Seal it. Write your deadline date on the outside of it. Don’t open it until that date. Keep the envelope with you at all times.
- Find a picture or image that represents your accomplishment. Make it your screensaver on all your smart tools and computer. Visualize daily your successful completion of it.
Speaking of our uniqueness and sprouting seeds, this month I am giving birth to an exciting new workshop that will help you do just this! I can’t wait to work with a group of individuals who truly want to operate from their core talents and design strategies that will help them operate at their very best.
If you’re in Miami, I hope that you will consider joining me at FIU on March 27 for Discover and Develop Your Strengths NOW!
If you’re not in Miami, I also offer this work one-on-one.
I know you have planted seeds!!!
Go water them now and watch them grow!
It’s your life. Lead it well.
Namaste, Monique
Faith, Trust, & Getting to Zero.
July 6, 2010
“With whatever spontaneous action arises out of presence, an intelligence is then at work in the situation. Whatever the situation, that intelligence is far greater than the intelligence of the thinking mind.” – Eckhart Tolle
At our work retreat this year, our team used the StrengthsFinder book and assessment. I always enjoy the reaction of those who use if for the first time. In this instance, I have to say that each person seemed to have felt validated for “who they are” and “what they bring” to the table. It was wonderful to hear everyone speak about their strengths and identify ways they can best use them to be “en pointe” more of the time.
For me the experience was the same. I too felt validated when I saw Learner, Maximizer, and Positivity among my top strengths. And, in preparing for this next blog, they came through loud and clear.
Today, I am writing about a spiritual (not religious) tool that is used widely in Hawaii (and now all over the world!). I enjoy reading about practices and principles and that are employed to help us be at our best. Doing so brings out both the “learner” and “maximizer” in me and keeps me in a “positive” state of mind.
I enjoy trying new techniques for spiritual awakening, stress reduction and general betterment. I don’t necessarily keep them all as “my practices,” but I enjoy learning about them, trying them out, and sharing them with all of you.
Just as I am sharing a new tool with you today, I’m sure you can share with me what works for you. Perhaps like this one, it requires a lot of faith and trust. Let’s go there now.
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When you think of the word ZERO, what comes to mind? My first thought is “nothing,” or “lacking.” Think about it…we live in a world where having very little or not doing/being “enough” is not acceptable. In the corporate world, if our load is not large enough, then we are “unproductive.” And in our personal lives, if every minute is not occupied, then we are not “super” enough. No wonder we are exhausted, question our passion, and constantly seek our purpose! The more I read about the power of zero, as described in Zero Limits: The Secret Hawaiian System for Wealth, Health, Peace, and More, by Joe Vitale and Ihaleakala Hew Len, Ph.D., my definition of zero is forever changed. Now, for me, Zero = Limitless.
Zero Limits speaks about a way of being…a way of life based on a spiritual principle and technique born in Hawaii, called Ho’oponopono. As with many (or all) universal principles, applying them requires a lot of faith and trust in the unknown. We don’t always understand why some things happen or work the way they do, but we see miracles happen every day. Ho’oponopono is a miracle-creating process that is turning heads and changing lives.
Ho’oponopono is defined as the Law of Least Effort, and a simplified version of the practice utilized by Dr. Hew Len has taken the world by storm. Why? Here’s where faith and trust come into play BIG TIME. Dr. Len was hired to work in a mental institution where the most dangerous and ill individuals were housed (in Hawaii). Staff didn’t last, and the patients were regarded as “lost causes.” They were locked up all day, in dark rooms, in shackles, with no rehabilitation in sight. So how is it possible that without even meeting with the patients, Dr. Len was able to heal the majority of them? In fact, all but two of the patients were released and the ward was closed. He did it with Ho’oponopono.
The spreading of this miraculous story is what launched Joe Vitale on his search to find Dr. Hew Len and (together) write this book, thus expanding Ho’oponopono’s reach and benefits for all.
Here’s what Dr. Len had to say about his work in the hospital:
“When I worked at the mental hospital and would look at the patients’ charts, I would feel pain inside me. This was a shared memory. It was a program that caused the patients to act the way they did. They had no control. They were caught up in a program. As I felt the program, I cleaned.”
What he refers to as “cleaning” or “erasing” is the process of using Self I-Dentity Ho’oponopono to “clean” this programming (memories/habits) which prevents us from being in our zero state where we receive inspiration; where we are tapped into the Divine.
What ZERO really is.
“The Divine is our zero state—it’s where we have zero limits. No memories. No identity. Nothing but the Divine. In our lives we have moments of visiting the zero limits state, but most of the time we have garbage…memories playing out.”
How do you do Self I-Dentity Ho’oponopono?
There are simply four statements that you quietly repeat over and over, nonstop, addressing them to the Divine.
I’m sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.
I love you.
The order doesn’t matter, and according to the book, just saying “I love you” (addressed always to the Divine) is just as powerful and “erases” just as well.
So, you may be wondering why you are apologizing to the Divine and asking for forgiveness? One of the questions I kept asking when reading about this process is, “Why should I apologize for something someone else is doing or saying, just because it’s in my presence?” Here’s the kicker (more trust is needed here, folks!); the explanation:
“Dr. Hew Len explained that everything you seek and everything you experience—everything—is inside you. If you want to change anything, you do it inside, not outside. The whole idea is total responsibility. There’s no one to blame. It’s all you.”
When do we use Ho’oponopono?
All the time. Hmmm. Really? Let’s dig deeper. If we were to journal all of the thoughts and feelings that we experienced every day (those that our conscious mind allows us to capture), I bet we could fill an entire book (and that’s not including our subconscious ones!). Many of these thoughts and feelings cause us stress, and move us to doubt our abilities, strengths and talents. We also are filled daily with thoughts of judgment, anger, spite, jealously, blame, etc. Imagine how much inspiration we could access if we could simply erase this negative content? Well, according to Zero Limits, we can.
Zero Limits tells us:
“For Self I-Dentity to be moment to moment requires incessant Ho’oponopono. Like memories, incessant Ho’oponopono can never go on vacation…The Conscious Mind can initiate the Ho’oponopono process to release memories or it can engage them with blame and thinking.”
This negative content is akin to static on the radio, a lost connection with the source. With this tool; this way of living, we can take full responsibility for every thought, emotion and action that shows up in our lives; accepting them and cleaning on them, and truly “Let go, and let God” (or Spirit, Divine, Universe, etc.).
I can see how Joe Vitale’s life changed in so many ways through his meeting Dr. Hew Len and bringing this story to the world. I’ll speak more to Joe’s transformation in my next post about Zero Limits. And, because I know how difficult it may be to fully comprehend what I am blogging about here, today, I plan to post additional brief snippets from the book that we can reflect upon daily for a bit.
By the way, if this post is making you feel uncomfortable in any way, this is a perfect opportunity to clean using Self I-Dentity Ho’oponopono. If you are reading it, then it is in your reality, and you are responsible for it in some way. Yes, hard to swallow.
In closing, this sums up how it feels to be at zero:
“You can feel this in your life: events will take on a perfect momentum, a glorious cadence. You can feel it in your body…You can feel it in your spirit. You will enter a state of such perfect grace that you will resound over the landscape of reality like ephemeral bird song.” – Deng Ming-Dao’s 365 Tao: Daily Meditations
Faithfully trusting and moving toward Zero,
Monique
My Relaxed Book Club will discuss selections from books I feel help high-achieving professionals continue to develop themselves and work on their personal leadership leading to more fulfilled, balanced and successful lives and careers.
Illumined Life Leadership 