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I can almost recite by memory those times I pushed so hard to make something happen, but it didn’t. No matter how much energy, positive self-talk, preparation, or confidence I backed it up with, it just wasn’t “meant to be,” I told myself. Been there? I bet you have! So, the question, then, for most high-achievers is:

 “But, if I don’t try hard, how will I accomplish?”

It’s a good question. But, if you look deep past the question, you’ll notice that it is based in a myth that has been passed down from generation to generation which has us believe:

The only way you will be successful is if you die trying!

Don’t fool yourself any longer. In fact, you’ll experience a longer, healthier, happier and more successful life if you begin training yourself to believe otherwise.

Now, I’m not saying not to try, and not to work hard. Please do. But don’t do it blindly. Consider this:

The flower doesn’t dream of the bee. It blossoms and the bee comes.

Translation:

I am a flower; success is the bee. I don’t need to chase it. In fact, if I do, it may sting me!

When I bloom, authentically, where I am planted, success will find it’s way to me.

Not easy, I know. This translation is based on two principles:

Trust in your authentic self.

Trust in who you were meant to be.

So, if you want to try really hard, I’d love for you to do it in this fashion:

  1. Know thyself! Have you done what’s in your power (worked hard!) to get to know YOU? Who you are at your core? What makes you unique? What lights you up and makes you jump out of your bed each morning?

  2. Allow yourself to blossom! Know it. Own it. And, yes, WORK IT slowly each day, and head down that path. The path may shift, or lead you to unexpected places. Keep knowing and understanding and walking toward what feels right and what feels true. And, if every cell in your being tells you that you’re on point, well give it all you’ve got and go for it. Then, I hope you TRY DOUBLY HARD for it!

  3. Trust and allow. This is the most difficult step, I believe. We can learn and develop and take actions toward our purpose, but when we feel as though we have to push desperately, then fear has come into play and we may get stung! Believe me, when we are off our authentic path we will know it—see it, feel it, hear it. But oftentimes we ignore it.

I remember a time when this was true for me. Many, many years ago I was in a job that I absolutely loved. I was applying the very best of me, helping others, and learning so much at the same time. I was definitely growing and leaning toward what I knew was ME! I wanted more and kept heading in that direction. In fact, I never felt like I was ever trying (a great sign!)

However, as has and will happen to many of us, something gets in the way that we may not have any control over. In fact, asking “Why” is futile, because some things do happen for our highest good and we may never have our answer. At this point, fear crept in, and I desperately began seeking other opportunities elsewhere—ones that did not align with who I was and who I knew in my bones I needed to become. The search threw me off and I became who I thought I “needed to be” just to get out. Needless to say, it did not turn out as I had expected, which led to many painful experiences and rejections which caused me to back track and re-build “me”. Eventually, my internal compass led me back on track, and I began to trust. The rest, as they say, is history.

I love saving others unwanted pain. In fact, I’d love nothing more than to help you confidently walk in the direction that you are meant to go.

Seek it. Align with it. Trust in what is and what it will be. And, bloom, baby, bloom! Bring on those bees and yummy nectar!

Is there a time you can clearly remember when you tried so hard and knew it was futile? I’d love to hear from you.

It’s your life. Lead it well!

Namaste, Monique

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“With whatever spontaneous action arises out of presence, an intelligence is then at work in the situation. Whatever the situation, that intelligence is far greater than the intelligence of the thinking mind.” Eckhart Tolle

At our work retreat this year, our team used the StrengthsFinder book and assessment. I always enjoy the reaction of those who use if for the first time. In this instance, I have to say that each person seemed to have felt validated for “who they are” and “what they bring” to the table. It was wonderful to hear everyone speak about their strengths and identify ways they can best use them to be “en pointe” more of the time.

For me the experience was the same. I too felt validated when I saw Learner, Maximizer, and Positivity among my top strengths. And, in preparing for this next blog, they came through loud and clear.

Today, I am writing about a spiritual (not religious) tool that is used widely in Hawaii (and now all over the world!). I enjoy reading about practices and principles and that are employed to help us be at our best. Doing so brings out both the “learner” and “maximizer” in me and keeps me in a “positive” state of mind.

I enjoy trying new techniques for spiritual awakening, stress reduction and general betterment. I don’t necessarily keep them all as “my practices,” but I enjoy learning about them, trying them out, and sharing them with all of you.

Just as I am sharing a new tool with you today, I’m sure you can share with me what works for you. Perhaps like this one, it requires a lot of faith and trust. Let’s go there now.

…   …   …

When you think of the word ZERO, what comes to mind? My first thought is “nothing,” or “lacking.” Think about it…we live in a world where having very little or not doing/being “enough” is not acceptable. In the corporate world, if our load is not large enough, then we are “unproductive.” And in our personal lives, if every minute is not occupied, then we are not “super” enough. No wonder we are exhausted, question our passion, and constantly seek our purpose! The more I read about the power of zero, as described in Zero Limits: The Secret Hawaiian System for Wealth, Health, Peace, and More, by Joe Vitale and Ihaleakala Hew Len, Ph.D., my definition of zero is forever changed.  Now, for me, Zero = Limitless.

Zero Limits speaks about a way of being…a way of life based on a spiritual principle and technique born in Hawaii, called Ho’oponopono. As with many (or all) universal principles, applying them requires a lot of faith and trust in the unknown. We don’t always understand why some things happen or work the way they do, but we see miracles happen every day. Ho’oponopono is a miracle-creating process that is turning heads and changing lives.

Ho’oponopono is defined as the Law of Least Effort, and a simplified version of the practice utilized by Dr. Hew Len has taken the world by storm. Why? Here’s where faith and trust come into play BIG TIME. Dr. Len was hired to work in a mental institution where the most dangerous and ill individuals were housed (in Hawaii). Staff didn’t last, and the patients were regarded as “lost causes.” They were locked up all day, in dark rooms, in shackles, with no rehabilitation in sight. So how is it possible that without even meeting with the patients, Dr. Len was able to heal the majority of them? In fact, all but two of the patients were released and the ward was closed. He did it with Ho’oponopono.

The spreading of this miraculous story is what launched Joe Vitale on his search to find Dr. Hew Len and (together) write this book, thus expanding Ho’oponopono’s reach and benefits for all.

Here’s what Dr. Len had to say about his work in the hospital:

“When I worked at the mental hospital and would look at the patients’ charts, I would feel pain inside me. This was a shared memory. It was a program that caused the patients to act the way they did. They had no control. They were caught up in a program. As I felt the program, I cleaned.

What he refers to as “cleaning” or “erasing” is the process of using Self I-Dentity Ho’oponopono to “clean” this programming (memories/habits) which prevents us from being in our zero state where we receive inspiration; where we are tapped into the Divine.

What ZERO really is.

“The Divine is our zero state—it’s where we have zero limits. No memories. No identity. Nothing but the Divine. In our lives we have moments of visiting the zero limits state, but most of the time we have garbage…memories playing out.”

How do you do Self I-Dentity Ho’oponopono?

There are simply four statements that you quietly repeat over and over, nonstop, addressing them to the Divine.

I’m sorry.

Please forgive me.

Thank you.

I love you.

The order doesn’t matter, and according to the book, just saying “I love you” (addressed always to the Divine) is just as powerful and “erases” just as well.

So, you may be wondering why you are apologizing to the Divine and asking for forgiveness? One of the questions I kept asking when reading about this process is, “Why should I apologize for something someone else is doing or saying, just because it’s in my presence?” Here’s the kicker (more trust is needed here, folks!); the explanation:

“Dr. Hew Len explained that everything you seek and everything you experience—everything—is inside you. If you want to change anything, you do it inside, not outside. The whole idea is total responsibility. There’s no one to blame. It’s all you.”

When do we use Ho’oponopono?

All the time. Hmmm. Really? Let’s dig deeper. If we were to journal all of the thoughts and feelings that we experienced every day (those that our conscious mind allows us to capture), I bet we could fill an entire book (and that’s not including our subconscious ones!). Many of these thoughts and feelings cause us stress, and move us to doubt our abilities, strengths and talents. We also are filled daily with thoughts of judgment, anger, spite, jealously, blame, etc. Imagine how much inspiration we could access if we could simply erase this negative content? Well, according to Zero Limits, we can.

Zero Limits tells us:

“For Self I-Dentity to be moment to moment requires incessant Ho’oponopono. Like memories, incessant Ho’oponopono can never go on vacation…The Conscious Mind can initiate the Ho’oponopono process to release memories or it can engage them with blame and thinking.”

This negative content is akin to static on the radio, a lost connection with the source. With this tool; this way of living, we can take full responsibility for every thought, emotion and action that shows up in our lives;  accepting them and cleaning on them, and truly “Let go, and let God” (or Spirit, Divine, Universe, etc.).

I can see how Joe Vitale’s life changed in so many ways through his meeting Dr. Hew Len and bringing this story to the world. I’ll speak more to Joe’s transformation in my next post about Zero Limits. And, because I know how difficult it may be to fully comprehend what I am blogging about here, today, I plan to post additional brief snippets from the book that we can reflect upon daily for a bit.

By the way, if this post is making you feel uncomfortable in any way, this is a perfect opportunity to clean using Self I-Dentity Ho’oponopono. If you are reading it, then it is in your reality, and you are responsible for it in some way. Yes, hard to swallow.

In closing, this sums up how it feels to be at zero:

“You can feel this in your life: events will take on a perfect momentum, a glorious cadence. You can feel it in your body…You can feel it in your spirit. You will enter a state of such perfect grace that you will resound over the landscape of reality like ephemeral bird song.”Deng Ming-Dao’s 365 Tao: Daily Meditations

 

Faithfully trusting and moving toward Zero,

Monique

My Relaxed Book Club will discuss selections from books I feel help high-achieving professionals continue to develop themselves and work on their personal leadership leading to more fulfilled, balanced and successful lives and careers.

I’ve always been a big fan of strengths-based leadership and personal development. It just makes sense to me. I was speaking with a student last week who was challenged with finding what it took within her to buckle down and study for a math exam she absolutely needed to ace, despite her lack-luster interest in math. Sound familiar? Well, it did to me. I resonated with her story. Although I was very good at math and enjoyed the challenge during a particular time in my life (10th & 11th grade) when I was very focused and desired to be a “great” student, I understood deeply that it just wasn’t “my thing”.  My strengths were always in the areas of communication and expression, whether it be dancing, singing, broadcasting, writing, etc.  Yet, while it may always be worth our while to place most of our energy into our areas of strengths, sometimes we do have work in and around these challenging areas. We need to do just enough to get through or by them.  And, interestingly enough, many times our strengths are what we need to rely on to help us pull through our weaknesses.

This week when I received one of my daily kabbalah tune up messages, I was reminded of how looking at solutions vs. problems can be similarly challenging.  Here’s what the tune up said:

“The solution exists before the problem. This is a kabbalistic truth that saves a lot of worrying. So often in life we freak out because we don’t think there is an answer, a cure, a way out. We needn’t worry. It’s there. We just need to find it….answers come from unexpected places….the more you feel this truth, the faster it will come.”

Then, it dawned on me…this is the type of mentality we must also have when it comes to manifestation, or the expectation of creating miracles in our lives. If we don’t look for those miracles to show, they just won’t! It takes practice to think in this manner and to expect the universe to send us what we need or desire. The same should be true for seeing solutions rather than problems.  So, if it takes practice to have this become a learned behavior and see results, why not practice it! That’s what I’ve decide to do “religiously” for one week. Maybe you can join me on my one week challenge to be completely and forcibly solutions focused?? Let’s have some fun!

My Plan.

  • Expect the unexpected. I shall write this on my mirror and in my office so that I see it throughout the day.
  • Play detective. If solutions exist before problems, then I must search for them like a detective! (I’m having fun already!)
  • Play catch. I must pay keen attention to these so called “problems” that I and others around me encounter. I will catch myself and them in the act!
  • Keep track. I will keep a journal and jot down immediately the identified challenge and the solution that I have found.
  • Start a revolution! I will share my results with you and others (see below) and launch a wave of solution thinking!

Let’s begin!

Here’s what I found…

Interestingly enough, the week began with what most would consider a major problem…my husband parting ways with his job and his career of 15+ years with no foreseeable income in sight. Overnight I have become the sole bread earner for our family. Pressure? Not really! This so-called challenge is providing me with the best of the best opportunities to practice what I preach—to think thoughts of abundance and gratitude and TRUST that our family will be taken care of and that we will receive all that we need exactly when we need it. I am frighteningly calm.


The second part of this first, very real challenge is that my husband now has the chance to fulfill a life-long passion of his, which is to pursue a career in the scuba diving industry. He is jumping into the abyss of entrepreneurship and without an iota of “lack” in his mind or vocabulary he is leaping in with tremendous joy and passion. I love to see people take risks; to pursue and live their dreams. My support he must have. This is the solution that I found.


My detective work continued thoroughly throughout the week and my journal filled with problems and solutions. Things that disrupted my days and my pre-planning, things that made my ego rage and incidents for me and those around me that provided instant occasions for learning. By Thursday I had absolutely no interest in being this detective any longer. Why? When I read through my list of so-called problems I realized how these things we call problems are simply distractions…things that take us away from our intended plans and cause frustration if we allow them to. They no longer were problems for me and I was happy with that realization.

The most important lesson I have learned this week is that we truly cannot sweat the small stuff. Yes, life will throw us some really big and difficult problems, but if we truly choose to believe that the universe only sends us problems because the solution was created first, then we have no problems, yes? I love this thought and I choose to believe and live this thought. I am at peace.


Speaking of peace…I feel the powers at hand sent me a nice gift this past week; a gentle reminder that life is about balance and trust…about ying and yang. As I was brushing my teeth and staring at my beautifully tiled bathroom I noticed what looked to be a ying/yang sign naturally created in my stone. I couldn’t help but giggle. Here is a photo of it.

YingYang

I expected the unexpected, and that is what I received.

I choose to be at peace and to trust that we will be taken care of.

Only solutions exist.

May you have a month filled with peace, light and blessings,

Monique