10 Tips to Start Your Day Right!
December 9, 2014
Just a few days ago I had one of those mornings! I felt the seconds flying past me, and the clock mocking me. I couldn’t seem to advance no matter how speedy I was! It also felt like everyone was pushing my buttons! There’s no other way to say it other than, I was in a sh!$ty mood! Been there?
I know that it’s impossible not to have days like these every now and then, but having one recently reminded me just how important it is to prepare for a great morning! I’d like to believe that I am extremely conscious of my thoughts and reactions, and so I did quite a bit of reflecting during that day to pin point what went wrong and how I could make sure to avoid it happening again (or anytime soon!).
See, as leaders, we can’t just go to work and ignore the world (or scream at it!). We are always affecting something or someone. As leaders we always have our vision in sight, and every moment we set a course toward that vision. More importantly, we hopefully are inspiring others to join us on this moment-to-moment trek to accomplish great things. See, as leaders, we can’t afford to have bad mornings.
In reflecting, here’s what set me off:
• I didn’t sleep well and I woke up too early.
• Figuring out breakfast for the family was challenging.
• I couldn’t decide what to wear.
• My family’s humor just didn’t jive with me that morning!
Now, would you agree with me that these things are little things? Yes! But what happens when a lot of little things add up? In my case it was just enough to throw me off into an emotional storm that lasted more than I wanted. I think about those individuals who experience the onslaught of many little things each day and don’t reflect; don’t understand why they are feeling as they are; don’t see how easy it can be to shift it, and never take action for change. For busy leaders, it’s crucial to plan for success and have systems and habits that support our wellbeing. On this morning, my being was not well, LOL!
As Oprah would say, here’s what I know for sure! These are the systems/habits that can help me (and I suspect you too, if your mornings can be a little crazy) ensure that I start out my days happy and effective:
1. Go to bed at a reasonable time to ensure you get at least 7 hours of sleep.
2. Prepare for bedtime with a ritual, like a warm bath and cup of tea, or relaxing music, or reading or yoga.
3. Make sure your fridge and pantry are stocked for the week so you don’t have to figure out how to feed yourself and your army!
4. If you’ve got kiddos, like I do, make those school lunches the night before and set out their clothes.
5. Set out your own clothes! Look at what your day will be like, know how you want to look and feel, pick your outfit, and steam/iron it.
6. Set your Mind! Mindset is EVERYTHING. Have one or a few mantras on hand that allow you to set your mood. A good one I could have used that morning—“I laugh at myself & it feels good!”
7. Turn off the TV and play music instead! The power of music to shift our mood is real! TV chatter and the increasing amount of bad news being broadcasted can overwhelm us. It becomes noise we don’t need.
8. Forgive yourself. Sometimes, no matter how much we plan, things just don’t go as planned. Shake it off and don’t make it personal. Peace over Perfection! (Isn’t this a great mantra??!!)
9. Shift to love and gratitude. When we sweat the small stuff, as I did that morning, I picture myself stopping for a few seconds, looking at my family, my home, everything in front of me, and saying “Thank you! I love these people and these things! I’m so blessed!” Focusing on what’s real melts away the self-pity, anger and stress.
10. Breathe. Find just a few moments before heading out your door to take a few deep breaths with your eyes closed, smiling. It’s a re-calibration and a moment to just BE before we launch for the day!
I know these work for me, when I work them!
What helps you start off your day successfully and positively? Please share your ideas below.
Here’s to great mornings!
It’s your life. Lead it well.
Monique
3 Ways to Fly High with your Leadership!
December 3, 2014
I just love to watch birds fly, especially when they are in a beautiful formation, all in unison, flowing. I’m also fascinated by solo birds—like hawks— so focused, gliding magnificently, swooping downward to check out potential prey and then accelerating upward. Both scenarios are purposeful and very strategic, just like leadership. Flocks stick together and follow their leader for many reasons—to avoid predators, to fly more swiftly and preserve their energy, and ultimately, to make it to their final destination— together. Do they lose their way sometimes? Sure, but those who stray from formation quickly find their way back and are guided by their fellow flock members and their leader. Solo birds also have a very distinct purpose—to find and capture their prey! Not the kind of goal I’d likely set, but quite important for hawks and the like. They are intently focused on ONE thing, and one thing only. Get food! Survive!
I remember driving home one day and seeing this beautiful white hawk with a V tail. I now know that it was a Swallow-tailed Kite. I had never seen one before. It seemed like it was flying closer and closer to my home, where we have several oak trees where many birds play and live. The closer I got to my home I realized the hawk was stalking one of my trees, and more specifically, a new family that had nested there. I had been observing this new family for days now, especially the mother who never left the nest! She was so watchful of her new baby! I began to panic. What can I do? I asked myself. Well, I truly could do nothing. I arrived home, parked, and ran out of my car toward the tree, but I was too late. The hawk had eyed the new baby and within seconds snatched it and accomplished her goal. After my sorrow died down, I questioned, “Could the hawk have successfully completed it’s mission without it’s intense focus?” Probably not.
I think of leadership in a similar way. Over the years I have come to realize that becoming a strong, effective leader means having the ability to do both— (1) be a crucial member of a team where perhaps you are not leading, but following, and (2) stepping forward in leadership and showing others the way. In the world of “personal leadership” this can look like identifying those goals that you need to accomplish solo, with incredible focused energy, like the hawk, while at other times, being that flock leader where you set the vision and guide others along, allowing mistakes to be made.
One of my favorite books is Jonathan Livingston Seagull, by Richard Bach, because it turns on its back the ordinary story of a seagull whose mission in life is to stick with its group and find food. Not Jonathan! He spent most of his time flying alone and pushing himself to limits no other seagull had ever pushed. He just knew his potential, and he was so anxious to reach it. He pushed himself so hard to keep surpassing his last achievement, regardless of fear or failure or injury. I think most leaders can relate to this inner voice— the calling to reach our potential and break the mold of success. It’s such a motivating story. However, the story also is sad, for we know that in his quest to do the extraordinary he also became an outcast for not being part of his flock and participating in the group way of life. Could he have found success if he had done both and balanced his personal and servant leadership?
So, as leaders, how do we both embrace our inner calling for flying solo while also stepping into the magnificence of leading through others?
Here are three tips to get the best out of both our personal leadership and servant leadership:
1. Always work on your personal leadership.
Not everyone agrees with me, but I do believe that we are all leaders. Are some of us born with innate qualities that allow us to lead more effectively? Absolutely. Do some of us need to be more intentional about leading and practice our leadership? Big Fat Yes. But, nevertheless, we were all born to lead in some capacity. Every single day we are afforded the opportunity to lead. To lead our children, to affect our community through our efforts, to set examples for others and share with them what we have learned—good and bad, and to not be victims to life, but make those crucial decisions for ourselves that will push us forward. Just like hawks, we also need to define those independent goals that only through OUR focus and persistence we will achieve. There is nothing more empowering than making a choice for ourselves and taking personal responsibility for achieving it.
2. Always take a back seat.
A beautiful part of leadership is giving the opportunity for others to lead. Sometimes we will and must step forward to guide our flock to our destination, but other times we will ask another bird to take the lead. Not only does it help us to grow leaders and build solid teams to support our vision and work, but it also helps us to be effective by understanding that we can’t and shouldn’t try to know it all and do it all! We all have unique strengths and gifts that should be utilized. The magic in teamwork is allowing each individual to use his/her talents and hone them for the good of all.
3. Always lead the way!
As effective leaders we must know when it is absolutely imperative that we stand in our leadership, in our strengths, in our conviction, and create that vision that will push others forward. Take the time to understand and know what those non-negotiable occasions/situations/moments are for you as a leader. Not everything can be delegated.
So, you may be saying to yourself, “I have to ALWAYS do these three things?” And my answer is yes! Leadership is a dance. Sometimes we dance solo, sometimes we lead the dance, and sometimes we let others lead! We sashe through these three scenarios constantly!
Every day think of how you can do activate all three in your leadership, and you’ll surely be flying high!
It’s your life. Lead it well.
Monique
This Thanksgiving, Cook up Some Questions!
November 25, 2014
“Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes.
This is not coincidence.” -Erma Bombeck
I just love Thanksgiving! I love cooking, I love spending time with my family, and yes, I even love football! But, as the quote above eludes to, do you sometimes think to yourself, “This just went by way too fast!” Or, “Am I really living in gratitude today and taking full advantage of this time with those I love?” Well, I do. In fact, I just don’t see my family members enough. Enough to understand how their lives are going. What they are joyful about. What they are grateful for. Why they may be hurting. Isn’t amazing how we can go days, weeks and months without seeing them, and when we do, not take full advantage of KNOWING THEM, APPRECIATING THEM, VALIDATING THEM, and LOVING THEM (in person!).
As a coach, one of the things I find so fascinating is how easy it is to feel appreciated and loved by just listening (really listening!) and asking questions. How do you feel when someone is holding on to your every word, letting you share what’s on your mind without interrupting, or simply asking you something about you and your life? It’s juicy! Yes! It may even be juicier than turkey on Thanksgiving Day!
So, why don’t you join me for a Thanksgiving Day Exercise in Gratitude, Appreciation and Love, by making time for REAL CONVERSATIONS, and REAL CONNECTION with those you love?
I’ve created a special Thanksgiving Exercise download for you to print. Simply cut out the questions I’ve included, add your own (if you like), fold them, and place them in a bowl. Then, after your delish meal, take turns picking a question and asking it of someone. The person who answers the question gets to ask next. (You can also Pin this to save it for later, just hover over the image to the left and click the Pin It! button)
I can’t wait to see how this goes at our celebration, and I’m very excited to try it out. I will definitely report back what I observe as outcomes and lasting memories for our family. I hope you’ll do the same.
And, in celebration of this magnificent holiday, when we take extra time to truly savor all the good in our lives, I invite you to meditate upon it. Here’s my Thanksgiving Post from last year. I plan to meditate upon it at sunrise to start my magnificent day!
I thank you for subscribing, for reading, for including me in your life as a source of inspiration and motivation for a Life Well LED.
I cherish this and all opportunities to positively impact you and your place in our amazing world.
Namaste,
Monique
Natural Strengths and Wellbeing. Is There a Link?
November 19, 2014
This one’s for the Ladies!
I remember when I was disengaged from work and life. It felt a bit like depression, although I did a pretty good job of keeping it together. Perhaps you’ve been there too? See, as a busy mom and professional, I always felt like I couldn’t relax. I had to keep moving, building, growing, succeeding. Feel me? Even worst, I felt I had to keep it all inside. Heaven forbid if someone could see how I really felt. That I didn’t feel successful. That I didn’t know who the heck I was anymore. That I just didn’t care. I know you feel me, and you want to know why? More and more I get calls from professionals and executives who feel the same! They want to be engaged again, they want to feel successful, and they want to lead purposed-driven careers and lives. I love working with these amazing people, because I’ve been there, and through inside-out work, I found my way.
In my work as a Gallup Strengths Coach I love reading Gallup‘s research on leadership and wellbeing (no surprise there, right?!). I was so thrilled to read the following, and this is why I want to celebrate all of you amazing women professionals, leaders and entrepreneurs.
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Of the 11 million men and women around the world who have taken StrengthsFinder, men and women share the same four most frequently named top five strengths: Responsibility, Learner, Achiever, and Relator. (We’re not that different. Ok, that’s cool. Keep reading.)
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Although many men have Empathy as a strength, women tend to have it in their top 5! (Ladies, it keeps getting better!)
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And, women tend to lead with Responsibility. (Hmm…Empathy, Responsibility…I’m seeing a pattern here!) The article asked this question: Could this be because we were raised differently in our respective gender roles, or because our expectations for work or our definitions of a life well lived differed from the outset? What do you think? What’s true for you?
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Here’s the kicker, Ladies! When Gallup analyzed its five largest data sets, including World Poll data from 160 countries around the world, employee engagement, and wellbeing data right here in the U.S., they found that men and women alike define wellbeing or “a life well lived” as five elements, consisting of the following:
• Their purpose for what they do every day
• Their financial wellbeing
• Their physical wellbeing
• Their community wellbeing
• Their social interactions
When they broke down the data by gender, they found that women are FOUR PERCENTAGE POINTS more likely than men to be thriving in their strengths and wellbeing; that’s significantly higher!
I’m not a scientist or researcher, and I’m not claiming that there is a direct link to higher wellbeing, but it excites me to think that leading with strengths like empathy and responsibility could contribute to our increased wellbeing. It makes me curious. In fact, whether these strengths are in your top 5 or not, we know that THEY ARE critical skills for leaders, regardless. I don’t know about you, but as a woman who’s been hearing for years (especially from other women who are hard on themselves) that we do too much and we can’t handle the pressure or we get too emotional, this is re-affirming. Here’s a bigger question when we look at leadership today, why is leading with empathy and responsibility important? Well, simply put, knowing that you work with leaders who care for your whole-life wellbeing, not just bottom line results, makes a huge difference in employee productivity and engagement. And we know from Gallup that what employees want most from their leaders (in this order) is: Trust, Compassion, Stability and Hope.
Ladies, it’s time we celebrate our natural tendencies to really care for others, while still being able to achieve great success in our careers and lives.
So, are women doing a better job at embracing their natural strengths? Are we understanding that we can’t do it all – all the time and still be proud of who we are and what we accomplish on a daily basis? According to Marian N. Ruderman and Patricia J. Ohlott, authors of Standing in the Crossroads: Next Steps for High-Achieving Women,
“…Now the emphasis has shifted to the changing contours of life—choices and trade-offs, the forces that influence decisions, and the strategies successful women use for constructing meaningful and fulfilling careers. Traditional career paths can seem clear but also unsatisfying or impossible to travel, while new paths that allow for a full and rich life are complex, uncertain, and ambiguous.”
Sarah Kauss, founder of S’well, which makes reusable insulated steal water bottles says:
“You have to be comfortable with not doing everything.”
Anita Krohn Traaseth, a mother of three, blogger, author, and the CEO of Innovation Norway, shares:
“It’s one of my father’s favorite expressions and has saved me from being an unnecessary perfectionist…If you don’t take care of yourself, set your own standards, decide when enough is enough, learn to balance and rest, you’ll have limited success. I learned that life was not about striving for perfection.”
So how in the 
h$ll do you balance?
I truly believe in moment-to-moment, intentional “balance”. In knowing myself, my strengths, my vision for my work and life, my priorities, and daily powerful decision making. I always ask myself each morning, “What’s important today, and what needs to come first?” I also have to remind myself that some things JUST ARE NOT IMPORTANT (to me!) AND ARE A WASTE OF TIME! We all have time and energy wasters that are not aligned with our values, strengths and vision! We have to know what those are.
My good friend, Luly B, speaks to this idea of Balance in her book and new audio series, Balance is Bull$hit: 7 Steps to Boycotting Balance and Living Life on Your Terms. Because women need to celebrate themselves and each other, I want to celebrate her success and determination in creating this amazing product, which helps her live her vision each day of helping moms lead successful lives through boycotting balance! You definitely want to check it out and share it with those moms you know need it! Luly’s voice is authentic and empowering.
Keep leading with your heart ladies! Our wellbeing is better because of it (at least I believe so!).
It’s your life. Lead it well….Monique
Know Your Super Human Power and Deploy it in 3 Simple Steps
November 13, 2014
This week has been quite exhilarating for me, not only because I’m in Colorado Springs in 18 degree snowy weather, but because I’ve been surrounded by hundreds of talented and ridiculously energizing human beings at Michael Hyatt’s Platform Conference! But, what’s even more exhilarating for me is knowing that each person I was with had a unique super-human power that they were deploying soon (if not already!) to get busy doing what they were meant to do. Something that would impact someone somewhere in some way.
You see, each one of us (yes, that includes you!) is gifted. We were each born with a unique gift that we are meant to put to good use. My belief is that our lifetime is about just that… understanding our gifts and through hell or high water, shining our light.
This stuff excites me, which is why it is at the foundation of the work that I do. How can we complete the task outside of ourselves when we are not certain of what’s inside? It’s also why I love simple and inexpensive tools like StrengthsFinder, because it provides a quick and easy way to help us connect with our super human powers—the combination of talents that only we have! And when you combine our strengths with our desires, and how we hope to impact others, well, then, we are truly deploying our super human powers!
Did you have those super human power desires and dreams as a child? I did! Heck, I went through moments of screaming to the sky with my fist in the air, “I have the power!” like Hercules did, and I waited for the heavens to shoot down into me those powers. Yes, I truly believed I could download power from the sky! (It felt great, by the way! I highly recommend it!)
And while I’m not suggesting that’s what we do on a daily basis, I am suggesting that like those beautiful little souls in the video, we don’t call out our faults, but we recall our super human powers and put them into play each day.
Not sure how to do it? Use these 3 steps to Know and Deploy your Super Human Powers
(Tip: Do these steps quickly! Otherwise your “external voice” will step in and lead you astray!):
1. Stand in front of a mirror and say to yourself, “Although I am not perfect, I am ridiculously gifted! My gifts are: _____________________________________________________________.” (Shout out at least three! This is a “gut” exercise. Don’t think, just shout!).
2. Continue saying out loud to yourself in the mirror, “When I use my gifts I feel: ______________________________.” (Don’t think about it…just shout out those emotions!)
3. And, finally, finish it off by saying to yourself in the mirror, “With my gifts I can help others ___________________________________.”
If you have trouble with this, I encourage you to give StrengthsFinder a try. I haven’t yet come across a person whose reaction wasn’t, “Wow, this is me!” It’s certainly a great start to tapping into our super human powers and living our lives more from the place where these children were living— a place of excitement, self-love and opportunity!
I LOVE this humorous cartoon created by/for Gretchin Rubin, author of The Happiness Project, who struggled to “know” and deploy her gifts. Check it out here for a laugh or two. We’re not alone in this quest, folks!
I’m in awe of you! Yes, you!
November 5, 2014
Once for each thing. Just once; no more.
And we too, just once. And never again.
But to have been this once, completely,
even if only once: to have been
at one with this earth,
seems beyond undoing.
–Rainer Maria Rilke
Since having attending Oprah’s the Life You Want weekend, I’ve become very clear on the one thing that I am uber focused on for a period of time until I begin to sense a positive change within me. And should that happen (which I’m fully intending for!), at that moment I hope that I won’t need to make a conscious decision to keep it going, but I will become aware that it already has become a new habit. That I have, indeed, already changed. That I am that.
Now, as I would have questioned in the past, some of you may be questioning in this moment, “Just one thing, Monique?” Yes, that’s right. So many of us have this tendency to try to make MANY changes at once, only to exhaust ourselves, or notice that what we had decided needed changing really is not something we’re eager to change, if at all. I have lived in that pattern of “The more I do the more I am.” You feel me? Yet, if I could FOCUS; truly FOCUS ON JUST ONE THING, well I get excited about how life changing that could be.
What would focusing on JUST ONE THING do for you? How impactful could that be for your life? Do you have moments of feeling scattered and disconnected, or feeling your purpose fleeting? I’d love to hear about those moments for you.
I know you’re curious about my ONE THING! Okay, I’ll tell you. My ONE THING is to be my purpose in EACH MOMENT. This requires not planning so much. Not setting extraordinary goals to “be something”. Not checking off lists just to feel accomplished. I know you’re freaking out reading this! I kinda am too! It’s a big change, you see, and big changes sometimes require a proper freak out! BREATHE DEEPLY. Instead, in each moment I will ask myself, “What is my purpose in this very moment? What do I want to achieve right now? What do I want to be right now? How do I want to feel?” and I will listen for my answer. I will be guided by my answer and take the appropriate next step, whether that is to write my blog, call my mom, go for a walk, draft a proposal, organize my office, make a follow up call, play with my daughter, create a new program, etc. I will choose to be that which I am in that moment and make the very most of it! I may just even sit still and breathe.
I know you’re still freaking out! Just chill out! I promise you that I will feel on purpose. I promise you that I won’t need to read a definition daily of who I think I am or who I think I want to be.
I’LL JUST BE.
So what does my ONE THING have to do with awe and with my being in awe of you? Well, for me, part of truly finding my purpose in each moment is also seeing the awe in every single person I encounter, even if no words are exchanged. Mark Nepo calls this Beholding Others. He writes,
“The truth is that each living spirit we encounter is a depth to gently swim in, a miracle that can quench our thirst.”
Can you imagine how our work and relationships would serve us if we went into every conversation wondering what this person could teach us–being in awe of them even without knowing one thing about them? Or, for those we do know, suspending all judgment and allowing them to re-introduce themselves and demonstrate who they are in that moment. Could we see something about them we never before saw?
How would you feel knowing someone was beholding you? How different would that be from wondering if you were good enough, or successful enough?
BIG SHIFT.
Behold others and you too will feel beholded.
I am grateful for this moment, for each word that is created in my mind and which I type in this moment.
And in this final blog moment, I honor and behold YOU, for the unique and magnificent individual that you are. That is, in fact, what Namaste means.
Namaste,
Monique
Gratitude, Breath, and the Whispers.
October 28, 2014
I still feel like I’m floating! My post today is simply to express gratitude for having been in the presence of amazing trailblazers this past weekend at Oprah’s Life You Want Conference. I am grateful for being surrounded by such wisdom, and a confirmation that I’m on my path. What’s a life of seeking without confirmation? As human beings we are always seeking because we don’t know everything. Or as many believe, we know, but have just forgotten. The amazing Eckhart Tolle reminds us that seeking too much takes us away from our purpose, which is always in this moment, and that’s exactly what Oprah, Deepak Chopra, Elizabeth Gilbert, Rob Bell, and Iyanla Vazant reminded us of at this magical gathering. Our homework–the reason for attending this conference was to claim your new vision. I’d love to share my simplified version with you, which we were asked to post on Twitter or Facebook 24 hours after the culmination of event.
I know that one of the reasons I exist is to learn and share. And so today, that’s what I’d like to do. It’s my gift to you. Below you’ll find some of the juicy nuggets of wisdom I captured during this event, as well as some photos and videos. I hope that something I’ve shared today provides you with some confirmation as well that you are doing your work to Live the Life You Want! So many of my friends and professional colleagues were “in the house” as well, and each of us took away something unique–what our souls needed to hear. For me, it was simplified into my vision or mantra above, focusing on the fact that I am everything I need to be right now in this moment, that only in this moment is where I will be on purpose, and that my breath and connection to spirit by being aware and being guided (by the whispers!) will allow me to fulfill my earthly contract and live a magnificent life.
Finally, I want to thank my mother, Ellie Kane, who treated me to this conference. What an amazing way to spend time together! It’s one of those Mommy/Daughter moments I won’t forget. Love you, Mom!
Mom and I with Oprah’s best friend and Good Morning America co-host, Gayle King!
Mom & I with some FAB powerful Fems and Friends!
Nuggets of Wisdom
From Oprah…
• All real success comes from being connected to spirit.
• We all have been called; nothing is an accident.
• Your legacy is every life you’ve ever touched. (via Maya Angelou)
• “I am the master of my fate; the captain of my soul!” Her mantra.
• You can be a better you than you can be a pretend anyone else!
• Knowing what you want to do is just as important as knowing what you don’t want to do.
• Our lives speak to us in every moment. We have to listen! Listen for the whispers before they turn into rocks! The whispers will guide us.
• If you can’t get paid for it (i.e., what you want to/love to do), then let it pay you! The miracle is in service.
• For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
• You co-create your life with every intention.
• Who you are right now is what you have believed you are. You become what you believe!
• Your greatest power is in your ability to love.
• Gratitude is the best way to share your vibration.
From Deepak…
• Don’t let the voices of the world drown out your voice from within.
• You accomplish more via the Law of Least Effort; living from the level of your soul. (Source: 7 Spiritual Laws of Success)
• There is no point of arrival (i.e., I have arrived!), it is in the right here and right now. That’s all we have.
• 7 Ways to Accelerate Synchronisity
1. How you see the world is a reflection of your inner state. Shift from fear to love.
2. Understand the essence of relationships; validating others for who they really are; honoring them.
3. Create intentions not only for yourself, but for the common good.
4. Learn to center yourself thru meditation.
5. Free yourself from emotional hostility; it’s like drinking poison. Create a ritual of release.
6. Embrace both the masculine and feminine aspects of yourself.
7. Keep yourself healthy!
And, a few final tidbits from Liz (Author of Eat. Pray. Love), Rob, and Iyanla…
• If you’re planning to change your life don’t expect it to be easy and painless. All movement brings the risk of injury! (Liz)
• We all have stories, but one never goes away, our Hero’s Journey (must stick with it, endure the pain to come out glorious on the other side!). You can hear Liz speak about a Hero’s Journey on Super Soul Sunday.
• We co-create our lives by listening to what the world is telling us; by paying attention to the signs (whispers) and following them. (Liz)
• We are miracles! Breath brought us into our lives and takes us from our lives. The fact that we are breathing is a miracle. Each moment is a miracle. Embrace the life that you have in this moment! This is the art of the spiritual life. (Rob)
• The sound we make when we breathe (Ahhh!) is the name of God in all religious traditions! Breath is life; breath is being connected to spirit. (Iyanla)
• The life you want is on the other side of the labor pains it takes to birth it! (Iyanla)
• If you made it through the past, you passed!
Oprah & Iyanla saying good bye!
Any of these tidbits inspire you to Live the Life you Want? I’d love to hear your shares!
It’s your life. Lead it well!
Monique
SWOT it out! Annual Review in 4 Easy Steps!
October 22, 2014
I can’t believe it’s already “holiday” time! So, not only does that ignite within me the desire to begin creating lots of lists (gifts to give, recipes to cook, cards to make, etc.), but I’m also thinking about what I’ve accomplished this year, and what I still hope to accomplish during my fiscal year (almost half way there!). How about you? I don’t mean to stress you out, but simply to encourage you to look at how far you’ve come and assess whether the goals you’ve set are truly the ones you will, or still hope to achieve. Goals can serve two purposes energetically, they can either fuel us and move us forward with great momentum, or they can weigh us down. The only way to ensure that they don’t do the latter is to take the time to check-in with ourselves and our goals, and continue to give them energy. When we don’t do this, it could be a sign that we are caught in the trap of just setting annual goals, because we are “supposed” to, or we “have” to. There is hardly any positive energy associated with “supposed to,” but there is LOTS of good “ju ju” associated with “want to!” Now is a great time to SWOT it out for yourself; complete a simple analysis–check-in– to see where you’re strong, where you can do better, what opportunities still remain, and what to watch out for, or just let go of (yes, we are allowed to let go of our goals!).
I’m sure you’ve seen this:
This is an effective business tool for strategic plans, and I find that it also works wonders for our personal development. Here are some questions to ask yourself when completing it:
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Where I am doing really well? What’s working? What’s getting me 80% of my results via 20% of my time and energy?
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What are my strengths and how am I leveraging them? How can I better leverage them now? (If you know your strengths via StrengthsFinder – http://gallupstrengthscenter.com– list them here! Looking at how you’re strategically using your strengths daily can help to keep you on track!)
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What’s not working so well and why? Which weaknesses can I manage better? How? Which weaknesses are better ignored? (Remember that investing in your strengths–what you’re naturally talented in–will always get you better results faster!)
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What opportunities are on the horizon that I can take advantage of? What didn’t I know or see that now excites me? What’s my low hanging fruit?
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What can prevent me from achieving my goals? What do I need to address and/or pay more attention to? Again…What may I need to let go of, due to threats? Are these threats worth my time, energy and worry? (Same with weaknesses!)
Based on your SWOT analysis, take a look at your goals and re-assess them. I guarantee you’ll feel much better about where you are and what you are able to achieve. Mostly, though, you’ll feel better about the decisions you’ll make now. Finally, celebrate all that you’ve achieved so far!
It’s your life. Lead it well!
Monique
4 Ways to Achieve FLOW Through Results-Oriented Operating
October 16, 2014
In the world of conscious living and leading it is understood that when we are not able to “flow”– to focus and be “on”– we are not fully connected with, or aligned with the universe (or “source”). Have you felt those moments, when you’re not fully present, or have a difficult time motivating yourself to get something started or finished? It happens to all of us, and one way to look at your development as a leader is to be very conscious of those moments where there is a disconnect, and through awareness and action, make the necessary shifts in order to get back to flow (and achieving!). As leaders we cannot make things happen and connect with and lead others without the ability to do this. I like to call it–Lighting it Up!
Just last week I attended our Center for Leadership’s Lecture Series, where distinguished global executive Jorge P. Montoya, who among other notable positions and appointments was the President for Proctor & Gamble Latin America, spoke on “Really, The Only Thing That Counts Is Delivering Results.” As a leadership trainer and coach, the title intrigued me quite a bit, and I attended, mostly, to ensure that Mr. Montoya would at some point discuss the human side of leadership and its importance to the bottom line. I’m happy to say that he did do that! In fact, he encouraged those present to learn, learn and continue learning; keep a positive attitude; cultivate and practice humbleness and servant leadership, and infuse love and passion in your job.
However, I respect where he started the conversation, and it reminds me of the idea of flow and being “on”. If you have your own business, or work for a business, there is no escaping the bottom line. Businesses must be profitable, and it does take an enormous amount of time, energy and focus to both reach and surpass profitability, and do it in a way that will support and grow those who work for you, or those with whom you work. Ideally, when business is good, so too is the livelihood of those connected to or surrounded by those businesses. We want business to thrive, right? So, igniting your flow from a very results-focused, bottom line-oriented perspective could certainly do the trick for both you and your business/company you work for.
Although Mr. Montoya’s presentation was mostly directed to the future leaders who were present, I believe his message is crucial for those of us who are in leadership positions, and who want to have more moments where we are Lighting it Up! In fact, what I share with you below has broader meaning. You can apply it to how you lead your finances, for example.
Here’s his prescription:
Principle:
Delivering Consistent Results is the Only Thing That Counts! Generally, you can do this via:
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Flawless execution of a good strategy
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Using your leadership to deliver results (through others!)
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Build the mindset very early on to develop operating discipline
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Design clear, stretch goals for yourself
Executing the Principle via the 4 F’s:
- Focus – Know where to play. Choose 2-3 core competencies. Less is better!
- Forcing Choices – Know how to win. Choose 2-3 choices or “weapons” to beat the competition. Choose what not to do. Don’t fix every problem; feed the strong and starve the weak.
- Frugality – Be brutal on costs, permanently! Develop a permanent scarcity mentality. Free spending sickness is contagious and can get out of control.
- Foresee a Crisis – Anticipate volatility/crisis and competitive moves. Change is constant and inevitable; the adaptive will survive and the proactive will win.
In applying it to my own life and leadership, I can see how those moments when I am not Lighting it Up are in fact times when I’m working on too many things at once. That “focus”, or “forced choice” was not present. In fact, this concept aligns directly with strengths-based leadership–feed what you’re strong at, and starve (or delegate!) what you’re weak at!
In true “Learner” fashion (my #1 strength), I’m always happy to learn and share these learnings with you!
Where in your life or in your leadership can you apply Mr. Montoya’s 4 F’s strategy?
How can you apply this strategy to get back into a flow and Light Things Up?
I’d love to hear your thoughts and examples. Write me a line below.
It’s your life. Lead it well.
Monique
What’s Your Hero’s Journey?
October 9, 2014
I just purchased a book for my husband, The Hero’s Journey by Joseph Campbell, who is heralded as a superb storyteller. This gift is supposed to be a surprise, but I guess it won’t be after I post this blog! In his book, Campbell recounts his conversations with many amazing individuals he was close to about their life’s quests and explorations. When I heard about it, it reminded me of my husband’s journey, which he’s still living out fully today. In fact, as I write this he’s incommunicado, on a live-a-board ship, diving with Tiger sharks! He’s all about exploring and creating his story in every moment, so I thought it was a perfect gift for him. Taking this leap was not easy for him–for any of us. Leaving a solid 15-year sales career to live his childhood passion of being the next Jacques Cousteau could never be easy. But, what a ride! It’s an exhilarating story, one with a lot yet to be written. I tell him all the time, “This is another chapter in your autobiography!” He laughs and responds, “Yep, our grand kids will get a kick out of this chapter!” This is an invested, deeply meaningful journey, and I do hope he does write about it one day!
(Oh, and since it’s our 18th wedding anniversary this weekend, let me use this platform to wish my husband, Billy, a Happy Anniversary. Love you, honey!)
Though his transition into entrepreneurship was kind of a big deal for us, we all don’t have to have a major transition happen in our lives in order for us to feel or express our story’s power and have it continue to expand us. And, we all don’t just have one story, either! This thought process brought me back to my new program that I just launched this past week, Journey to Wellbeing. I feel so blessed to be walking side-by-side with many individuals who are diving deep into their stories–their journeys to more balanced, conscious, healthy, joyful and meaningful lives. Although it’s only been a week, what I love most is getting a glimpse into their stories, one week at a time. And, since this program’s foundation is journaling, I love the idea that they can begin to capture and/or create their stories, just one sentence at a time. I don’t know about you, but its always a person’s story that instantly connects me to them. It’s what remains when everything falls away. Author, Anne Lamont shares that the thought of writing her first book was terrifying, until one day one of her mentors suggested she write just one sentence every day until she finished. That’s exactly what she did. What would you say is your Hero’s Journey? Have you thought about it? Have you shared it with others? Have you dumped it out of your head and onto paper? Can journaling help you capture it, or would writing one sentence a day be an inspiring starting point for you as it was for Anne Lamont?
We are all hero’s in our own right–in our own lives. Capture it. Own it. Share it.
Namaste, Monique
Illumined Life Leadership 